I’m freaking out

imasinger

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:14 am

You can lock up the clean diapers and see who comes to you for a key.

You can buy adult incontinence stuff and put it in the cabinet with a note saying, "please take if you need, love, the management".

Or you can put a garbage can in the bathroom and see what further happens.

rising hero

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:34 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The garbage is not the point.
My concern is why one of my teenage kids would need to use my toddler’s diapers.
I feel like one of them are using it for some reason, possibly incontinence.
Nobody have a teenager with this condition?
I’d love to hear from experienced moms to calm me.

But it still is a point. Imagine having to hide dirty diapers in a cabinet. He's struggling with something thats embarrassing enough, not being able to dipose it discreetly just adds to the pain. Obviously you want to get to the bottom of it and solve this issue but until then...
ETA Assuming it is one of your teenagers

trixx

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:37 am

imasinger wrote:

Don't lock the clean diapers, that puts person in a terrible position

leaf

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:48 am

so sorry you are going through this.
try smelling your sons' laundry and sheets...maybe that will clue you in to who is struggling with this, if it does have to do with incontinence...

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:06 am

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

As weird as it is gross. If he was embarrassed about it, why would he leave it around where it could be found instead of just flushing it or throwing it in the nearest wastebin? Same thing for OP's ds if that's who it is.

Kids ya'know.. I know some teenage daughters forget their pads and leave other stuff around obliviously. Boys do that too.

Not everyone has or likes having a wastebin in the bathroom.

OP, have a talk with your kids. But it should not be done with shame.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:09 am

imasinger wrote:

This is missing the point. Her teenager doesn't need adult incontinence stuff, he needs to see a urologist asap.

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:18 am

Thank you for all the responses.
I can’t even answer all the questions because I’m just sitting here scratching my head.
It’s just beyond my understanding.
I don’t want to approach anyone without verifying that they’re the one.
I will work on that first. I will be extra alert and figure it out.

Now, I’m not sure it’s incontinence, but it’s the only thing I can think of, so if anyone has experience with that in a teenager, I’d appreciate any info and support.
Sigh, nobody taught us how to parent 😙

P.s. as for why I have no garbage in the bathroom, I’m the only one in the house taking pads to the garbage, and that works for me. Tissues are placed in the garbage bin in the kitchen. Small apartment, bathroom is right off the kitchen.

WhatFor

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:57 am

OP, I'm not sure if I understood you but you throw your pads in the kitchen garbage?

Anyway, your question was reminding me of those creepy stories of people living in walls behind bathroom cabinets, but I don't think they make houses like that anymore.

amother

Aqua

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:10 am

I don't have an answer to this mystery, I wanted to caution you against deciding on the most obvious culprit. Something similar happened in my home as a child and my parents figured it was me. Not only was I disgusted and hurt but I could not tell then it wasn't me because that would hurt them even more. So I said nothing. They still think I did it. Sometimes I want to clear my name but at this point it would only cause divisiveness so I try to forget it.
Please keep an open mind.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:16 am

I think the idea of leaving letter where the diapers are found would be nice; something along the lines of
My Dear Child,
I don't know who you are but I love you and care about you, I know you are embarrassed but I would love to help you so you don't have to do this anymore you can come to me or leave me a note here so we can make an appointment with a doctor. You are not alone

I always love you,
Mommy

amother

Gray

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:19 am

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

I think this is a bad idea, the entire family may see the note causing even more embarrassment to the child.
I think that it makes the most sense that either your toddler does put them there or your DH when he changes her. Mention it to DH, maybe he can clue you in if something is going on.

amother

Pink

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:20 am

Am I the only one that is not getting the scenario?
Why would anyone, tenneager or husband put a diaper in a cabinet?
If I wanted to get rid of evidence, I would put the diaper in a disposable shopping bag and put it deep down in the garbage can, under a while pile of garbage. Are we talking about. teenager that has no common sense?

And the one who said the teenager was "experimenting," that makes even less sense. He would use tissues and flush it down the toilet.

imasinger

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:20 am

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

This is missing the point. Her teenager doesn't need adult incontinence stuff, he needs to see a urologist asap.

FWIW, specialists often can't give next day appointments, so if it turns out that there is an incontinent teen, the suggestion is practical.

I really hope you're not suggesting that OP drag all her teens to a urologist, and interrogate them until one confesses!

OP can't make any appointments until there's clarity on who's doing what and why.

Until there's a clear nonjudgmental message sent and received -- until it's even clear what exactly IS the problem -- it's going to be extremely counterproductive to try to solve anything.

My slightly tongue in cheek suggestions were on the order of detective work. Which is the necessary first step.

OP, if I were you, I'd get each family member alone in a nonthreatening conversation, say "I can't figure out this mystery, do you know anything that could help me figure it out?"

Personally, I still suspect the toddler. They're devious little creatures, and their minds work in different ways.

amother

Gray

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:40 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

I still think it's the toddler doing it. It makes the most sense.

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:42 am

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

I still think it's the toddler doing it. It makes the most sense.

What size is the diaper? Wouldn’t looking into that answer all your questions? Like my size 3 baby diaper can’t possibly fit on an older child let alone a teen!