UPDATED Should preschoolers know about Meron? Class today

imasinger

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 7:47 am

I don't feel right doing the joyous song and dance time that I had originally planned for today. But of course, I think it's important that we address reality without overwhelming or scaring young minds.

Instead, in my music sessions, I'm thinking to talk and sing about how when sad things happen, we trust Hashem, then sing Esa Eina (tehillim 121). Maybe also Pitchu Li?

We'll talk about how it's not good when things get too squishy, then sing a song I wrote called "Don't pop my bubble".

Then, we'll talk about how sometimes, we daven so fast that our words are squishy, and let's choose one thing this week to sing more slowly in our davening.

I'll do a beat game to review fast and slow.

Then, I'll let the kids choose which davening song we should sing together slowly.

What do you wise ladies think?

Last edited by imasinger on Fri, Apr 30 2021, 11:10 am; edited 3 times in total

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 7:51 am

Sincere question; do preschoolers know what happened? I’m in NY and my 6 year old doesn’t: not do I think she should. Obviously if they know it’s a different story....

amother

Orchid

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 7:58 am

Depends on the age of the preschoolers I think. I told my almost 7 year old and 5 year old last night. I’m pretty sure they’ll overhear people talking about the tragedy and wanted them to hear it from me directly in an age appropriate way.

amother

Teal

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:01 am

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

Sincere question; do preschoolers know what happened? I’m in NY and my 6 year old doesn’t: not do I think she should. Obviously if they know it’s a different story....

If your six year old doesn’t know yet she’ll know as soon as she gets to school. I read the post from links to tell your children in a gentle way before goth find out from the neighbors so I told my six year old that Meron got very full this year and some people couldn’t breathe so well and they were nifter. So he says oh yeah I know, the neighbors told me a porch fell down and people died.
I’m in ny too.

avrahamama

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:02 am

I would still celebrate lag b'omer with the little ones.

I don't know how many of the children will know about what happened. The children were being taught and built up to a day of simcha. To just take it away from them so abruptly would be confusing.

Look at us grown ups, we can't seem to wrap our heads around it.

I'd maybe talk about how some happy days can have sad in them too. And then do a davening song for all of Am Yisrael.

southernbubby

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:05 am

I would not take away their happiness and replace it with sadness and fear. I don't think that Lag b'omer needs to become Tisha b'Av. Unless a child that age has been personally affected by the loss of someone they know, I don't know what they gain from the information.
Let them sing and dance and enjoy the day.

amother

Yellow

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:05 am

Preschoolers I think don't really need to know. Mine doesn't. I did tell my older kids, including my 7 year old. They're going to hear about it in school, and also the school has already decided to scale back the planned activities for today due to the tragedy.

imasinger

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:13 am

AFAIK, they're still getting their moon bounce.

In general, I aim for the middle road, not heavy mourning, not ignoring either. Let the message be that our response to sad things is to do more mitzvos, and talk to Hashem.

The pure tefilos of small children are precious.

Zehava

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:15 am

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

Sincere question; do preschoolers know what happened? I’m in NY and my 6 year old doesn’t: not do I think she should. Obviously if they know it’s a different story....

If you don’t tell them they’ll hear a bunch of nonsense from friends

southernbubby

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:26 am

Zehava wrote:

If you don’t tell them they’ll hear a bunch of nonsense from friends

My youngest son's oldest child is 5 and so she won't hear about it from older siblings. Some of my children won't let the older ones discuss it front of the preschoolers and they also didn't want scary discussions regarding Covid.
It's the same question as deciding when to allow your child to visit the Holocaust museum or what to tell children about graphic details of many parts of Jewish history. Little kids can only process scary information to a limited extent.

amother

Linen

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:26 am

I think they should say a little tehillim with you. We tell kids about people dying before every yom tov. They won’t really think into it. And then do your usual lag b’omer stuff.

I wouldn’t do the squishy part. There’s no need to get so detailed. Just people died, people are sick, let’s daven.

amother

Brown

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:27 am

My 5 year old doesn't know, and I'm not planning to tell her. I don't think it's necessary to tell kids that age.
She does not have school today. If she did, I would expect her morah to do the regular lag baomer program and compliment the girls wearing new things, put on loud music, maybe make a mock bonfire?

Blessing1

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:29 am

I think all parents should tell their kids before they go to school because they will hear in school, you want them to know before. Every age should be told at their appropriate level.

banana123

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:33 am

Depends where you live. Was anyone close to them affected? If so then talk about it on their level. If not, I would skip it but let them know that they can ask any question they want. And then if they bring it up, answer their questions.

PinkFridge

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:33 am

Please ask the principals how they're handling this, and what they'd like you to do.

ETA: if one of the kids mentions something then maybe some brief damage control would be appropriate on your part. Don't curtail what you were planning to do. That's the school's decision. Many if not most preschools let the teachers play kids' CDs throughout sefira.

southernbubby

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:36 am

Another thing is that the school itself should decide how to handle it because some parents will complain if they were not ready to discuss it with the kids and an individual teacher jumped the gun.
I have some grandchildren who are age 4 and who would have zero understanding even if they were there told. They don't really know yet what death is or how it happens. They just want to be happy.