Misinformation about wealthy/financially comfortable people

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Fri, May 07 2021, 11:54 am

No we are not all shallow
No we are not all obsessed with designer labels
No we do not all look down on people based on their bank account
No we do not all have a problem being friends with those who have less
I for one value true friendships. I am selective in my social interactions but that is based on people’s depth and intelligence not their income bracket.

amother

Lilac

Fri, May 07 2021, 11:57 am

Do you ever get the feeling that people are befriending you because you have money?

amother

Linen

Fri, May 07 2021, 11:59 am

Or are some people reverse snobs?

amother

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:00 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

Do you ever get the feeling that people are befriending you because you have money?

No
Maybe because I don’t really flaunt the fact that I have it. And I’m not that social. Dh probably has that I wouldn’t know.
But to me a friendship has zero correlation with money. And it’s not like I walk around throwing it about.
If someone tried to befriend me because of that they’d be sorely disappointed.

English3

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:01 pm

Do you believe in teaching your kids how to budget? Like limit their money so that they should earn it?

amother

Pearl

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:02 pm

How do you balance your spending vs giving tzedaka vs not living in an ostentatious way?

amother

Linen

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:05 pm

Are you old money or new money?
What do you think of the other?

amother

Chocolate

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:06 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I wonder if you are my friend lol. My mom used to joke that I attract the wealthy girls lol. My family is far from wealthy (moneywise:) but its interesting that most of my friends are rich. They are all wonderful and a real inspiration to me
That being said, I cannot STAND the wealthy snobs. ugh
Because I understand through my friends that wealth doesnt equal... - as OP mentioned

amother

Oak

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:07 pm

I feel like there is a difference between wealthy and financially comfortable. we would probably be considered financially comfortable but are not wealthy.

do people know your financial status? do you feel pressured to donate to places...

amother

Red

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:10 pm

Do you feel like your money is yours, or given to you by Hashem? Do you realize it can be taken from you at any moment?

amother

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:11 pm

English3 wrote:

Do you believe in teaching your kids how to budget? Like limit their money so that they should earn it?

I give them a small allowance every week

amother

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:13 pm

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

How do you balance your spending vs giving tzedaka vs not living in an ostentatious way?

Tzeddaka is not my department. I’m not a big spender by nature I buy what I need. Ditto for ostentatious. I have zero need to flaunt or make others jealous. On the contrary.

amother

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:25 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Are you old money or new money?
What do you think of the other?

Dhs grandfather was a millionaire. But the kids didn’t see a penny until his death. Now FIL has this huge inheritance and... you guessed it. We haven’t seen a penny of it. Dh inherited the grit, work ethic, and business sense but the money is all his own hard work.
I grew up on sales, hand-me-downs, and secondhand clothes but my mom always made sure we looked out together.
I don’t spend much time thinking about other peoples statuses.

amother

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:27 pm

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

Yeah I think it’s subjective though. Depending on the status of the people making the judgement. I think some consider us wealthy and some consider us comfortable.
Some things we have and do make it a bit obvious that we are comfortable. I try not to discuss it much but it comes up. Dh definitely gets solicited a lot.

amother

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:29 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Do you feel like your money is yours, or given to you by Hashem? Do you realize it can be taken from you at any moment?

Oh ya betcha. I’m a worst-case-scenario kind of a person. It took me a while to even realize that I can afford to shop without scrimping.

amother

Lawngreen

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:30 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

Do you ever get the feeling that people are befriending you because you have money?

I sort of made the opposite experience but I think that's because we don't like to live luxuriously. Part of the reason for that is because I grew up with very little and my mom with even less. We're used to making things ourselves instead of buying them. My husband is very handy so he fixes things himself. I think "rich people" think of us as too simple and "poor" people resent us a little for having wealth but not using it too much.

Anyway, another assumption that a lot of people have about wealthy people is that wealth always comes easily. My husband has been working really hard since his teens, rarely takes vacations. Sometimes he will come home late and still continue working. One time someone owed him around 4000 dollars and the guy just told my husband "this loss won't bother you."
My husband used to love to give and help people but unfortunately people will take advantage of it.

amother

Pearl

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Tzeddaka is not my department. I’m not a big spender by nature I buy what I need. Ditto for ostentatious. I have zero need to flaunt or make others jealous. On the contrary.

How do you make sure "what you need" doesn't keep extending and moving to a higher standard? I know if I was wealthy, I would struggle with this.

And if the standard does go up, no judgement! That would make sense too.

amother

Red

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:31 pm

Do you feel resentful of people who have more children than they can afford?

amother

Lime

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:34 pm

Can you give a ball park of what financially comfortable vs. wealthy is?

At the moment I’m not even sure how to categorize myself.
I do come from 2 generations of financially comfortable (aka buying houses for all kids in Brooklyn) but each of the 3 generations had money from different sources. (And not all descendants were comfortable at all.)

amother

Fri, May 07 2021, 12:46 pm

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

It’s probably gone up a bit over time. But again I think if it keeps extending that would probably be due to social pressure which bh I don’t have.

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