Do you consider WhatsApp status an invite?

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 2:56 am

Feel free to add anything you wish to say

Last edited by amother on Wed, May 19 2021, 3:32 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:08 am

Thank you for those of you that already voted. I, as well don’t and a relative of mine is making a bris tomorrow. I just want to feel validated for feeling somewhat hurt that my husband didn’t even get a text.....

Last edited by amother on Wed, May 19 2021, 3:32 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Sapphire

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:18 am

my god. stop making it about you. she just gave birth and may be overwhelmed . call and say mazel tov and I bet you'll get an invite.

if you need a personal phone call stay home.

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:24 am

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

my god. stop making it about you. she just gave birth and may be overwhelmed . call and say mazel tov and I bet you'll get an invite.

if you need a personal phone call stay home.

Her husband also just gave birth, right?
ETA, I didn’t say I need a phone call, but how about a text from her husband to mine?

Last edited by amother on Wed, May 19 2021, 3:32 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:28 am

member wrote:

Feel free to add anything you wish to say

I would if it's someone I have a shaychas to. People post invites on their statuses for that purpose. They can't remember everyone and post as a reminder to all their close family and friends to take it as an invite. I wouldn't be insulted if I were you. I would take it as an invite and I'm sure they would be happy you came.

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:29 am

For those of you that voted yes, don’t you think that there are people who don’t always have the time to view everyone’s status???

Last edited by amother on Wed, May 19 2021, 3:32 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:32 am

DrMom wrote:

For a bris, I'd give the benefit of the doubt, since we don't really send "invitations" per se.

Right, and therefore baalei Simcha don’t invite but rather inform others that they’ll be making a bris. However, same thing happened with the shalom Zachor. Hurts me for 2 reasons.
1. I may be more sensitive than others being the fact that I’m going through IF.
2. When this couple fundraised for a campaign, he didn’t wait for us to see the status but rather sent a message....

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:36 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

Right, but don’t you think that family members that are saved to contacts should get a text? Why, when they were part of a campaign, did they remember to text rather than wait for me to see their status?

DrMom

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:38 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't see what #1 has to do with anything.

As for #2: Okay, I get it. Maybe it would have been nice if you were sent a short whatsapp: "We are having a bris tomorrow. Hope to see you there to share in our simcha!" But I don't think it is constructive to dwell on this.

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:44 am

DrMom wrote:

Well, for some reason people going through IF always have people turning away from them..... or not being sensitive to them.... it’s ok... it works out better, because dh has an excuse not to go. However, people can’t expect everyone to be busy 24/7 watching everyone else’s status.... had I not seen it, I wouldn’t have actually known. And that’s ok.- that is if they want it that way, no problem. But don’t come complaining to people that they didn’t come

Goody2shoes

Wed, May 19 2021, 4:03 am

Am I the only one who voted no to tell op that she's 100% right?
Come on folks! A WhatsApp status us not considered an invite at all. How is it spreading the word? You want people to attend your simcha you invite them
As op said, then they go around kvetching that no one came. Of course not! How is the word supposed to get around

amother

Slateblue

Wed, May 19 2021, 4:05 am

I don't look at statuses, so I voted no.

OTOH, I'd never expect a personal text or invite for a Bris, upshernish, or even Bar/Bas Mitzvah (if invitations are not being mailed). If they're a family member, we're probably on a family group, and they'd post the details there for all of us.

amother

Aqua

Wed, May 19 2021, 4:38 am

I don't consider a WhatsApp status an invitation. Ironically, for a close relative or friend I would not just show up. And I would be insulted that I was not personally invited. Included close family not inviting me to a bris. But I would be OK if my Mom, for example, passed on the details to our branch of the family. I would consider that a personal invitation. Because, after all, she did just have a baby.
But for an acquaintance for whom I am particularly happy that they are making this simcha (maybe a baby after IF or a wedding after being single for a while), I might go, not eat, wish a mazal tov and leave.

DrMom

Wed, May 19 2021, 4:51 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I totally agree with the bolded.

Elfrida

Wed, May 19 2021, 5:12 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Well, for some reason people going through IF always have people turning away from them..... or not being sensitive to them....

I'm wondering if they thought they were being sensitive by not flaunting the fact of the baby and leaving it as a quiet and discreet notice. That left you the option of choosing not to respond if you felt that going to a bris would be too challenging instead of putting you on the spot by giving a direct invitation.

amother

Blue

Wed, May 19 2021, 5:29 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

For those of you that voted yes, don’t you think that there are people who don’t always have the time to view everyone’s status???

I mute everyone's status. I don't want to bother with it at all.
If it were close family, I would not be insulted if I didn't get a direct invite to a brit. They are busy, and it's obvious I am going to my nephew's brit.
If it were a friend/acquaintance- I would go or not go depending on the relationship and my schedule.
In any case, people are totally overwhelmed after a brit and can forget things.

essie14

Wed, May 19 2021, 6:11 am

I have no time to check anyones whatsapp status. I never look at that tab.

They arent the first people in humanity to be making a bris on the 8th day and feeling overwhelmed. Somehow before smart phones everyone managed to invite people to all smachot.
You make a list and hand it off to someone else. Either to make calls, or to send invites from your phone while you nap or nurse.

imasinger

Wed, May 19 2021, 6:19 am

I also never look at that tab.

But it does sound like there are other concerns than this behind OP's hurt and angry reaction.

amother

Mauve

Wed, May 19 2021, 6:34 am

No, but I also don't expect a personal invite. By my family, it is usually posted on a family group, not sent to each person personally.