We need a place to move to...

amother

Wed, May 26 2021, 6:59 pm

About us...
My husband is a BT x2, he was BT as a kid and then OTD and then BT again as an adult.
I am a convert
Both in our early 40s
we have 4 kids (one is an adult) 14G, 8B dx with adhd, 6G
They have always been homeschooled/unschooled and are not where they would be in had they been in Jewish schools.
My husband is disabled due to a genetic condition that he didn't know he had until he was in his late 30s.
He doesn't get out much anymore, so he likely wouldn't get to shul much anyway.
I work as a morah in a gan (asst not lead teacher)
We follow Breslov teachings but we wouldn't be considered chassidish by in town standards. I consider us chassidish because we follow Rebbe Nachman, but anyway...My husband wears a streimal and bekishe.
I normally wear a tichel or snood. On rare occasions I do wear a wig.
We are ashkenazi, very lax charedi. I wear sandals in the summer, we watch videos and play video games. That could change. I want to cut my kids off but we aren't in a place to do so right now.

What we need
A welcoming community.
A school open to helping our kids "catch up."
A school that really gives a break on tuition since we will live on my husband's disability until I can find work.
Within driving distance to a VA hospital or good drs that can work with a rarely diagnosed genetic condition.
Low cost housing (rent under 1400, buy under 250,000)
Easy to find kosher food.
Prefer to stay within driving distance to NJ but that's not a total deal breaker.

Thanks for any help.

I'll add more if I think of anything.

amother

Bisque

Wed, May 26 2021, 7:16 pm

One point that stands out to me in your post is that you are looking for a school open to working with your kids to catch up on missed schooling. I'm not sure how that would work without paying for private tutoring. Why have they been "unschooled", as you referred to it? Why not invest in private tutoring now? Can you elaborate on this point? Homeschooled and unschooled are obviously very different.

I think the rest you can find- I just don't think you will find a school that can catch your kids up to speed without private tutoring.

amother

Wed, May 26 2021, 8:07 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

OK then I will have them work with a tutor if they need that. We didn't like the bullying in the local school when our oldest was there so we didn't send the others, plus a list of other reasons that I don't feel the need to give. It was the educational choice we made at the time.

Do you have any recommendations based on the rest of my list?

amother

Bisque

Wed, May 26 2021, 8:22 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Fair enough, but you didn't homeschool them, you just kept them home from school? That's kind of a glaring issue. How far behind are they academically?

I think many out of town communities could work for you. (Cincinnati?) I think the issue of your children's education is going to be a sticking point regardless of where you move. Why NOT get them the help they need now so they can be caught up?

amother

Jade

Wed, May 26 2021, 8:24 pm

You and I have been in touch before. The beautiful breslov kehilla in Baltimore is waiting for you with open arms!! Our husbands wear shreimal and bekesha and I cover with tichels, some of the other wives wear both. I think it would fit in very well here and we would be thrilled to have you!

amother

Wed, May 26 2021, 8:28 pm

amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:

By “I don’t wear a wig” do you mean you don’t cover your hair, or cover only with a tichel?

Sorry I meant I just don't wear a wig. I do cover with tichel...actually, I do on rare occasions wear a wig but not regularly. I fixed it in the OP.

amother

Wed, May 26 2021, 8:29 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

I am a little nervous about crime in Baltimore....do you feel safe even after that young man being killed recently?

amother

Wed, May 26 2021, 8:32 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

Yes, I have homeschooled them. I wasn't able to keep up with Jewish education for them because I am not knowledgeable enough. It didn't matter to me in the beginning...it does now.
And I say unschooled because they honestly have learned a lot on their own and I kind of just let them explore their own interests.
The only one that may be behind academically would be the 14 yr old but I only have a public school education to compare too. I don't know if she would be behind in a Jewish school. But she's smart and could catch up very easily.

amother

Aubergine

Wed, May 26 2021, 8:36 pm

When you say unschooled, do you mean as in the educational choice of unschooling- allowing yourself children to decide what they will be learning about- or do you mean I teaching what has been taught in school?
I don’t know where you live, but I just want you to be aware that, at least in NY, you may face a LOT of resistance from the schools. They do NOT want to deal with homeschoolers. We homeschooled one of our daughters for this school year, with haskama and guidance from a big rav (NO I will NOT give his name) and we faced a lot of resistance when trying to get her into school for this coming school year. She just got accepted last week.

amother

Wed, May 26 2021, 8:38 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

I doubt anywhere in NY would fit for us anyway.
By unschooled I mean they decided on some things.

amother

Aubergine

Wed, May 26 2021, 8:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I doubt anywhere in NY would fit for us anyway.
By unschooled I mean they decided on some things.

Hatzlacha, and I mean that completely sincerely. I don’t know what it’s like outside of NY, because we don’t live there :-) I hope you find a community for your family, and a school or schools for your kids!!

justforfun87

Wed, May 26 2021, 9:03 pm

Ok so Baltimore schools won't help to catch up kids. From my understanding BY isn't currently accepting any students that require educational support due to Covid/learning center being full and being already stretchedtoo thin. That being said there is a thriving homeschooling community in fact one of the biggest Jewish ones. My sister is actually involved is starting a grassroot Yeshiva for boys who have been homeschooled/kicked out of school/don't fit the mold.

amother

Wed, May 26 2021, 9:10 pm

justforfun87 wrote:

Can I send you a PM to get the info about your sister's school?