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Forum
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-> Simcha Section
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amother
OP
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 Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:04 pm
I attended my nephew's upsheren this week.
The child was hidden away upstairs while everyone else was celebrating as their minhag is for the boy not to see any women other than mother, grandmothers and sisters.
Anyone heard of this?
I know of the minhag to protect the child's eyes on this day and cover him so that he doesn't see pritzus on the street.
But this is something new to me. He wasn't allowed to see blood related aunts! Mind you we were all dresses very modestly.
What's wrong with looking at a modest woman?
And poor boy. The party was in his honour but he couldn't attend...
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amother
Quince
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:12 pm
Wow. I hate that. Women are not pritzus. 
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amother
Tulip
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:16 pm
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Some people are makpid that the upsherin boy not see anyone or anything tomay til after he learns alef bais. That's why he is wrapped in a talis. Including a girl or woman who is a niddah. I don't understand how people who have this minhag have a party.
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amother
Steelblue
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:16 pm
It is bc of niddah and impurity. They cant ask you, can they.
A upsheren boy is like a sefer torah. You dont look at a sefer torah when niddah....
Was annoyed b4 I understood, but did same for my son. I want him to have the purest eyes possible.
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Pamela
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:17 pm
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Its a minhag I have seen in certain circles. Usually those that have the minhag have the upsherin only for men. Something about not looking at menstruating women…
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amother
Steelblue
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:17 pm
Double posted I see.
We did lchaim party for men only.
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amother
Smokey
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:19 pm
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It’s nuts. A three year old boy doesn’t even have a concept of s-xuality in his brain.
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Pamela
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:24 pm
| amother [ Smokey ] wrote: | | It’s nuts. A three year old boy doesn’t even have a concept of s-xuality in his brain. |
It has nothing to do with s-xuality but with impurity. A women in niddah is not pure.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:24 pm
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But what if his mom, grandmothers, or sisters are nidda?
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Pamela
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:25 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | But what if his mom, grandmothers, or sisters are nidda? |
Good question. Like I said upthread, it is not our minhag but I have heard of it
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amother
Smokey
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:26 pm
| Pamela wrote: | | It has nothing to do with s-xuality but with impurity. A women in niddah is not pure. |
She’s not pure in the sense that she can’t be intimate with her husband. I. E. As it relates to s-xuality. There’s nothing inherently impure about being nidah.
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amother
Pumpkin
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:31 pm
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The men are not pure either.
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amother
Tulip
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:34 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | But what if his mom, grandmothers, or sisters are nidda? |
They shouldn't be there either. This minhag has been bashed on this site before.
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amother
Quince
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:34 pm
| amother [ Steelblue ] wrote: | It is bc of niddah and impurity. They cant ask you, can they.
A upsheren boy is like a sefer torah. You dont look at a sefer torah when niddah....
Was annoyed b4 I understood, but did same for my son. I want him to have the purest eyes possible. |
I absolutely look at a sefer Torah while niddah.
In fact, while it is everyone's practice to avoid touching the klaf directly, it's not any worse to handle a sefer torah while niddah than not. It's lo mekabel tumah.
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amother
Raspberry
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:35 pm
| amother [ Smokey ] wrote: | | She’s not pure in the sense that she can’t be intimate with her husband. I. E. As it relates to s-xuality. There’s nothing inherently impure about being nidah. |
I don't know about this particular minhag, because what do they do if the mom is Niddah?
But I've heard of not looking into a Sefer Torah when Niddah.
Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 20 2021, 11:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Lovable
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:36 pm
| amother [ Tulip ] wrote: | | They shouldn't be there either. This minhag has been bashed on this site before. |
I dont know if the minhag has been bashed, but def valid to bash the party (for men & women) that is held by people who have this minhag. makes no sense
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causemommysaid
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:39 pm
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Why not have the party a different day so the kid can actually join? Seems so unfair to a 3 yr old
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Blessing1
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:48 pm
I never heard of this minhag. The tallis over the boys head when going outside is so the boy should see non jews.
Last edited by Blessing1 on Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:52 pm; edited 1 time in total
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scruffy
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:50 pm
| amother [ Steelblue ] wrote: | | You dont look at a sefer torah when niddah.... |
what
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tp3
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Tue, Jun 22 2021, 4:51 pm
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We hold tuma from a non kosher animal. Never heard of women!
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