Lakewood bubble | Imamother

amother

Tuberose

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 12:56 pm

amother [ PlumPink ] wrote:

OK, I guess it changed. My friend (mid-30s) said she was put in the yiddish class even though her parents didn't necessarily like the yiddish teitch so that she would end up with the more yeshivish crowd.

Bais faiga always translated in Yiddish. It was one of the standards/rules it was established with.

Crookshanks

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 1:01 pm

amother [ Gardenia ] wrote:

Just curious- do your kids have MO friends? Would you be concerned if they did? Would you spend shabbos with your (maybe hypothetical) MO relatives? Genuinely asking

I had a modern orthodox friend growing up. My parents are very concerned about influences, but they were fine with our friendship. The only rule they had is that I could not be in the house when they were watching TV. I also needed to check hechsherim before we ate but I was fine with that.
I have MO family that I love very much too...

amother

Clear

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 1:10 pm

mha3484 wrote:

I live in Chicago and I feel there are a lot of similarities to this.

I'm from Chicago. Got married around 15 years ago and moved to Lakewood.
The thing is that (except maybe very, very recently) there are individual Chassidim in Chicago. There are Chassidishe Rabbanim in Chicago. But there's really no Chassidishe community in Chicago. The individual Chassidim were and still are a bit, kind of rowing alone. Kind of unique and part of the community and yet very much apart of the community if I'm making sense.

amother

Orange

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 1:16 pm

amother [ PlumPink ] wrote:

Bais Faiga used to have a Yiddish class and an English class (to teitch chumash). The yiddish class ended up being an alias for the more yeshivish class. Was that stopped?

Never heard of that. I went to bais Faiga as a kid. I’m in my early 30s. Didn’t exist back then. Definitely doesn’t exist now. My kids learn chumash the same way I did as a kid.

Crookshanks

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 1:31 pm

amother [ Gardenia ] wrote:

Just curious- do your kids have MO friends? Would you be concerned if they did? Would you spend shabbos with your (maybe hypothetical) MO relatives? Genuinely asking

Forgot to mention that I spent a few weeks at my MO family as a teen. My parents asked her to buy a certain hechsher chicken (it was in between the hechsher that we used at home, and the one she always used) and she was happy to oblige. She also shopped at the kosher grocery while I was there so I would feel more comfortable.
Besides for the fact that I was spending time with family that I love, it was also nice to get a peek into her world-daven in her shul, meet her friends, walk around her neighborhood...
I remember going to her (mixed) shul and being stared at by everyone man and woman alike who I guess had never seen a Lakewood girl in their life... It was a new and fascinating experience for me.

mha3484

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 1:57 pm

amother [ Clear ] wrote:

There are a lot more Chassidim. I live across the street from one of the kollelim. The MO community has mostly all moved to Skokie but my kids go shopping with me and see people buying carts of kosher food who may not look like them which is a good thing. I make a point to tell my kids that I have friends of all types and we can get along and be friendly to everyone even if we practice differently.

amother

Gardenia

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 2:37 pm

Crookshanks wrote:

Exactly.

Chayalle

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 3:10 pm

amother [ Clear ] wrote:

I'm not very familiar with the Chicago community, but I know my grandmother A"H had a cousin who was a Chassidish Rav in Chicago in the post WWII era, and my mother A"H kept up with and was close to one of his daughters when she got married and moved to the NY area. I think he was the Veitzener Rav.

I think what you are saying makes sense.

Bluepink

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 3:15 pm

amother [ PlumPink ] wrote:

Not true. That was in BY of Boro Park

amother

Aqua

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 3:55 pm

amother [ Gardenia ] wrote:

Thank you. And this was my point with my close relative who chose lakewood to specifically keep their kids in the bubble and away from *influences*. The ones who think riding the subway is untznius. Yes they may be "extreme" but they represent a like minded group. So for those who Hugged that post, just know that those people are VERY REAL. They are living I m a bubble and will continue to live in a bubble ad bi'as go'el. And yes, they keep at arms length relatives (as in, please come to us for shabbos but we will never go to you) who have smartphones, wear denim, short socks, nail polish etc. So please don't pretend you don't know that there is a solid chunk (maybe majority) of bubble- dweller ln lakewood. None of them know or ever hang out with ANYONE MO (even right-wing MO)

Woah I’ve lived in Lakewood all my life and still live here and I don’t know of anyone like your relatives. Def not majority

bsy

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:16 pm

Bluepink wrote:

Not true. That was in BY of Boro Park

Not true either. When bybp had Yiddish classes, those were the chasidish classes. Not yeshivish.

amother

Tuberose

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:23 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

The fact that you find this funny shows just how diverse it actually is Sad

I think judging ppl based on what you know is age appropriate for children.
We once had a family over where the father wasn’t Jewish for the Purim Seudah.
The daughter asked for hamentashen and I didn’t have. She told her mother then she didn’t think we were Jewish.
Every kid has their baseline. I’m assuming your kid does to unless they assume every person is Jewish unless told otherwise?

amother

Lemon

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:36 pm

Chayalle wrote:

it doesn't seem like the diversity is encouraged much though. My niece sends her kids to TAG, and I hear the classes are set by neighborhood. She is moving B"EH, and her daughter will have to switch to the class of her new neighborhood. Seems like the goal is to keep girls within their type.

I agree but thats just tag. in bby and every other school it is not like this and sooooo mixed. and even tag the classes are pretty mixed, from what I see

amother

Catmint

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 4:59 pm

I'm from LA.

Very diverse.
Chassidish
Lubavitch
Yeshivish
modern yeshivish
Jpf
MO
Persian
Israeli
BT
...

Each have a real community, yet there's overlap in schools, neighborhoods, etc.

amother

Moonstone

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 5:24 pm

I don’t think Lakewood is a bubble. It’s not like KJ or NS. But it’s also not that diverse either. There’s still a common baseline that people adhere to. And for those that don’t, we’ll, they’re kind of “outsiders.” They exist, but they’re not mainstream Lakewood.

amother

Tuberose

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 7:05 pm

amother [ Gardenia ] wrote:

Exactly.

And she was new and fascinating to them…

Imagine if someone MO spent first Shabbos in chassidish home they would also find it fascinating and different. Therefore they must also live in a bubble?

amother

Orange

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 7:22 pm

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

Woah I’ve lived in Lakewood all my life and still live here and I don’t know of anyone like your relatives. Def not majority

I lived in yeshiva area for several years and there were a number of that type there, curious if you ever lived in that neighborhood. They don’t shop in non Jewish stores because it’s a bad influence, won’t go to the public library, stuff like that. Some of them are in your face about it. Others do it quietly. Not the majority but yes I’d say it’s a significant number.

amother

Gardenia

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 7:38 pm

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

Yep. No library. And no "non Jewish" books in the house..even kids books. Like I said, they are very (very) into doing "what everyone else does" so... What

Notsobusy

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 9:14 pm

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

I also know a few such people. But they are a definite minority. They won't even let their kids watch Uncle Moishy. One lady I know was looking for a job but wouldn't work with men and she was having a hard time finding something with no men around. But again, they are the minority.