I'm the worst mother. 3yo cursing.

trixx

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:04 am

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

I start timeouts at 12 months in a playpen. They don't have tantrums and understand no so no terrible 2s.

So much wrong and incorrect about this, I don't even know where to begin.

amother

Pistachio

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:05 am

rubyred wrote:

My son is incredibly verbal and intelligent. I see the rare times I use time outs working for him, so I feel very comfortable continuing this parenting method.

Same here, without punishing a baby.
Your son being verbal has nothing to do with him being punished as a baby.

rubyred

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:09 am

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

I start timeouts at 12 months in a playpen. They don't have tantrums and understand no so no terrible 2s.

I consistently get comments on how generally calm and pleasant my son is. Of course he has tantrums too and doesn’t like when I don’t let him have an ice pop if he asks for it first thing in the morning. I started time outs at around 18 months. They are old enough to understand. Once a child starts doing negative behaviors to get attention you can start giving them consequences. There is nothing wrong with punishing your child from time to time, as long as you give them lots of love too.

rubyred

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:11 am

amother [ Pistachio ] wrote:

Same here, without punishing a baby.
Your son being verbal has nothing to do with him being punished as a baby.

Yes, because if he can verbalize then he can definitely understand.

Please stop questioning my personal parenting choice. Every child is different and each parent has to do what works for their child. Thanks 😊

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:11 am

amother [ Pistachio ] wrote:

The child leart the word from his mom, the mom should be punished. It's just not right to punish a child for behavior they're seeing by their parents.

Mom has been punished, this post is proof of that. She's also learned her lesson, and hasn't used the word in a few months.

Next.

amother

Pistachio

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:23 am

rubyred wrote:

It doesn’t mean that he's calm and pleasant because he's been put in timeout as a baby, so many kids are calm and pleasant because that's they're nature. We need to let our kids behave their age. Babies should behave like babies, not like little gentlemen.

amother

Pistachio

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:25 am

rubyred wrote:

Kids don't become "verbal" by being punished. My kids were all talking clearly by 1 year old and they weren't punished. It's a nature. Some kids talk before a year and some don't talk till 3. It has nothing to do with them being punished as a baby.
Sorry, I just can't fathom a normal parent punishment a 12 month old baby.

Zehava

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:44 am

rubyred wrote:

I will never stop speaking up for those who have no voice.
Timeouts “work” for you not for your child. For your child it works to send them the message that their needs will not be met so they may as well give up.
It works for you since you eliminate the natural stage of a two year old asserting their independence and newly found skills. Easier for you to have an obedient clone of you for life.

amother

Amaryllis

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:47 am

rubyred wrote:

No questions here.
Your personal parenting choices are abusive.

Last edited by amother on Tue, Dec 21 2021, 8:49 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Pistachio

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:51 am

Zehava wrote:

This is what I'm trying to say, I just couldn't figure out how to word it. Thanx Zahava.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:54 am

rubyred wrote:

Please question your parenting methods.
You are doing what works for you not for your child.

You are abusive.

rubyred

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:54 am

That’s your personal opinion. I love how all these anonymous posters are coming here and saying they don’t agree with me.

I stand by what I choose to do on rare occasions as mentioned earlier. I know punishing kids isn’t the norm because people are afraid of upsetting their kids. Calling a simple consequence a name like abusive is overreacting imho.

Zehava

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:58 am

rubyred wrote:

You’re the one who’s afraid of your kids expressing their emotions, therefor you nip any of those expressions in the bud by punishing any sign of emotion or independence early on.
Those of us who aren’t afraid of tantrums have no need to punish our babies for them.

amother

Pistachio

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 9:59 am

rubyred wrote:

Honey, it depends on the age of the child. My kids get timeouts when necessary occasionally, but NOT as a baby and NOT because it makes MY life easier and I want to get away with dealing with age appropriate behavior. You're doing this to make YOUR life easier so YOU shouldn't need to DEAL with NORMAL baby behavior. The only thing it teaches the child is that they should be afraid to feel and express their feelings because they'd be punished. The baby is trained that they'll be punished for doing what kids their age are supposed to be doing.
Do you have older kids or is this your first?

amother

Cerise

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 10:05 am

rubyred wrote:

How rare are these occasions?

You're anonymous too. We don't know who you are either. This is not the point of the argument here.

The point is that you can't prove to YOURSELF that what you're doing is ok so therefore it bothers you that people are pointing it out.

But because you don't have a good argument you're starting out with the anonymous card. Drop it.

Focus on why you're doing this on rare occasions. Don't answer us. Answer yourself.

nchr

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 10:11 am

In my personal experience the more punishment the quiter the child.

Also my pediatrician once said babies can have timeouts from 12,13 months and up, but I realized that a doctor is not a chinuch expert. Would I ask a chinuch expert about a medical issue?

amother

Amaryllis

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 10:12 am

nchr wrote:

In my personal experience the more punishment the quiter the child.

And the less sense of self they have.

Last edited by amother on Tue, Dec 21 2021, 8:49 am; edited 1 time in total

rubyred

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 10:15 am

Zehava wrote:

Where are you getting this information from? I’ve said nothing about punishing for tantrums. That was another poster. I’ve said nothing about shutting down emotions. I mentioned that my son has tantrums but he is generally pleasant to be around. He is just turning two and is incredibly emotionally expressive and even verbalizes some emotions too. My husband and I are very open with each other and express our emotions easily and encourage our son to do the same.

rubyred

Mon, Jul 05 2021, 10:16 am

SafeAtLast wrote:

And the less sense of self they have.

Pleasant does not equal quiet. At least not in my case. He is very personable and even older kids love him. His playgroup morah called him a leader.