Is third grade too young to be responsible for lunch

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:24 pm

I am very excited that due to covid my sons school will be offering free lunch to all students.

He told me that he does not always like the lunch but there is always plain bread. I told him that I will hang up a menu in the kitchen and he should look at it the night before and if he does not like the lunch he can make his own. He seemed okay with that. He is my oldest and a pretty responsible kid. Am I being too harsh?

Rachel Shira

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:27 pm

If it’s something he’s capable of and he’s not complaining about it, I think it’s fine and even good.

Blessing1

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Kids this age love to be independent in the kitchen. If he's ok with it and not complaining, then it's ok and good for him.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:41 pm

As long as he knows that you will help if he asks for it, then no, not harsh at all.

If anything, it's excellent parenting. I always told DD "I'm not a helicopter, I'm a safety net." Your kid will enjoy the "high wire" of growing up, as long as he knows you're there to catch him if he falls.

amother

Crystal

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:41 pm

I thought from the subject it would be the opposite- no hot lunches and have to make your own. I made my own from 2nd or 3rs grade on. My mother is so proud of her independent kids. I wished I could have a loving mother pack me a lunch. Maybe even, gasp, with a note. Like my friends got. Guess who isn't close with their mother until today.

What you're describing sounds different. Just make sure he has what he needs.

octopus

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:45 pm

Just have in the fridge some prepared stuff like he should know how to pack a slice of cheese or string cheese (to go with the plain bread they serve) or some yogurts or something simple like that.if he is capable, you are lucky! I'm sure he will let you know if there is a problem.

Elfrida

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:50 pm

Make sure that he is aware of the kashrut issues that may be involved. If the school lunch is milchic, he should not take a fleishic lunch to eat at the same table, and vice versa.

He may need a bit of help the first few weeks. Do it with him, not for him, and he will soon be doing it independently.

tigerwife

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 1:30 pm

As long as it’s voluntary and not enforced, it sounds like a good idea. You can have a fun little date in the kitchen before school starts where you teach him how to make (and pack!) some basic lunches. It’s probably a good idea to also have some prepared lunches in the fridge just in case, like yogurts with granola toppings or cut veggies.

amother

Bisque

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 1:35 pm

amother [ Crystal ] wrote:

I had to make my own lunch starting in 2nd grade so I had my DC prepare theirs at the same age. Never had any closeness issues with my parents or kids.

Chana Miriam S

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 1:42 pm

Giving your child life skills?!? Amazing. My ASD SON COULd COOK A TOM TOV meal by the time he was 11. Go you!

keym

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 1:46 pm

My concern is only knowing my own children. A bit through the year, they may decide that it's too big of a pain to bother making their own sandwich or whatnot and they'll just have some plain bread. (And they're not full, and monsters when they come home).
So while I don't think there's anything wrong with this arrangement, you probably want to keep an eye on if he's actually making himself lunch or just opting out.

thunderstorm

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:10 pm

I think it all depends on the child. One of my kids loves to be independent in the kitchen and finds it to be a privilege to prepare his own meals. Another kid thinks it’s overwhelming and a pain and would rather I do it for him.

I have memories of being a little girl, preparing my lunch and trying to slice open a frozen bagel. I chopped the tip of my finger off in the process. So make sure your child understands kitchen safety.

zaq

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:40 pm

Give it a try and see how it works. What's the worst that can happen? He forgets to make lunch and has to eat the school lunch, or he has a few slices of bread for lunch, for a day or two. He'll live. He'll also learn something.

singsong

Wed, Sep 15 2021, 1:55 pm

Not harsh at all. My kids have been packing lunches for years, and they prepare their food on their own starting in first grade.

finprof

Wed, Sep 15 2021, 2:08 pm

It sounds perfectly reasonable as long as there are easy things to prepare and pack. My kids started packing snacks at 6 (using pre-cut fruit).

ra_mom

Wed, Sep 15 2021, 3:11 pm

Due to the fact that there is backup lunch at school, and it's not his only possibility of eating lunch, it's ok.

notshanarishona

Wed, Sep 15 2021, 5:08 pm

As long as there is food available if he forgets I don’t see it as a problem. I would help him out in the beginning and model food preparation skills and probably would also remind him in the morning depending on the kid