 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Parenting our children
|
amother
OP
|
 Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:16 am
hi. we have a 10 month old son. I work from home, and get fridays off. my mom watches son 2 days, and we just got a nanny to watch him the other two days. husband also works from home.
nanny has been here about 3 times, and she's obviously nothing like either bubbe. seems like she's not so great and is going through the motions, but I have low expectations and feel like it's good enough.
there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of reading to the kid, singing songs, talking to the kid, etc. -- the stuff my mom does all day with him. kid seems to mostly play on his own and there's not a whole lot of active interaction/enthusiasm/education.
I totally love my own kid to death, but I'm not a "baby person" who goes crazy over other people's kids and I get where she's coming from. I would hate having to watch someone else's kid for 8 hrs a day. if I had her job, I'd just go thru the motions and count down the hours until I can leave.
the nanny is a nice person and shows up and isn't going to kill the kid, plus we're at home so we'd know if anything bad was happening. I kind of feel like the nanny is good enough if she's showing up and not killing the kid.
I know it's hard to find a good nanny. should we be happy with what we have, or do I have too low expectations?
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 0
|
Zehava
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:19 am
|
That is a pretty low bar you set!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
16
|
|
amother
OP
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:22 am
| Zehava wrote: | | That is a pretty low bar you set! |
I've heard plenty of nanny horror stories and everyone says it's hard to find a good nanny. seems like showing up on time, following directions, being a nice person, not abusing or killing the kid, etc. is a high bar given the horror stories I've heard.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
Rachel Shira
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:22 am
|
Honestly, low expectations are great, but you’re paying her for more than going through the motions and waiting for the day to end. I’d probably non-urgently start looking for someone else and keep her meanwhile. On the other hand, independent play is also valuable, so you have to weigh what’s actually going on. Is she on her phone/ignoring him/annoyed/not taking proper care/etc or just letting him hang out for some of the time? She doesn’t need to actively entertain him the whole day.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
16
|
#BestBubby
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:37 am
|
since just 2 days it is ok as long as babys physical needs are not neglected.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
octopus
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:44 am
|
Is she neglecting your child? Is she staring at her phone all day,? She doesn't have to read to your kid as long as your mom is doing such an amazing job. But if she is ignoring child that is really not what you are paying her to do.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
8
|
|
amother
Maize
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:49 am
|
I have a Jamaican housekeeper. She watched my baby for 21 months (he started going out yesterday) she watched him while I worked from home and cleaned for me when he naps and afternoons after I finish work. She sits in the living room with the doors closed and texts and talks to her family. Yes it gets my nervous but my baby is safe and has lots of toys and the go outside from 30-45 mins daily. I take what I can get..
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
2
|
|
amother
DarkGreen
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:51 am
My dd is a nanny. She reads and sings with kids. She plays with them. She takes them to the park. She shops for groceries and cooks supper if mom asks.
She helps the older kids with hw.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
RevitalizedMom
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:55 am
|
It’s concerning to me that your justification is that “she’s not killing the kid.”
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
15
|
heidi
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:02 pm
I had a nanny from Trinidad.
She lookvvveedd my kids. Played with them, sang to them. People actually tried to woo her away from me after they saw her with my kids in the playground and offered her to name her price. BH she was loyal.
OP, your child deserves to be loved and cared for.
It seems really sad that you're willing to settle for less.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
|
amother
Mustard
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:15 pm
|
I know from experience finding someone good for just two days a week is hard.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Currant
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:20 pm
| LeeR wrote: | | It’s concerning to me that your justification is that “she’s not killing the kid.” |
Me too! Very bothered by that statement repeated 3 times in your 2 first posts!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
5
|
|
amother
Clover
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:27 pm
|
I think this really depends on how much you are paying the nanny, who she is, and how clear your expectations are. Is she a seminary girl getting paid $18+ an hour? Then yes she should be doing more than just watching your kid. Is she getting paid $14 an hour and also tidying up your house? Then watching your kid is enough. If you’re paying $15 an hour or less I don’t think you can expect much more. But there’s no reason why you can’t give her specific feedback and tell her you would like her to interact with your child more. You’re the boss, you make your expectations clear. You can’t change the nanny’s personality, but if she is reliable, trustworthy, and kind, it’s worth training her to do what you would like. Put in a nanny cam and keep an eye on how it’s going.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
|
amother
OP
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:33 pm
| LeeR wrote: | | It’s concerning to me that your justification is that “she’s not killing the kid.” |
some of you are taking this waaaaayyyy too literally literally, and it obviously means that the baby's basic needs are getting met
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
10
|
|
amother
Snowflake
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:35 pm
My nanny loves my kid and my baby loves her. My baby speaks an equal amount of English and Spanish as the Nannny reads, sings and speaks to her in Spanish.
I’m thrilled that my baby has a loving connection with the person she spends so many hours with.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
|
amother
Emerald
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:42 pm
|
You can train her to do what you want. Sometimes people rise to the occasion, if you show them you have certain expectations. It's worth a shot. Try to be specific.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
Sb1234
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:44 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | some of you are taking this waaaaayyyy too literally literally, and it obviously means that the baby's basic needs are getting met |
So say that.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
5
|
tichellady
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:45 pm
|
Yes too low. Encourage her to interact with your child, talk and sing or find someone else. Child doesn’t need constant interaction but having someone to talk and read to him is important for his development
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Mustard
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 12:48 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | hi. we have a 10 month old son. I work from home, and get fridays off. my mom watches son 2 days, and we just got a nanny to watch him the other two days. husband also works from home.
nanny has been here about 3 times, and she's obviously nothing like either bubbe. seems like she's not so great and is going through the motions, but I have low expectations and feel like it's good enough.
there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of reading to the kid, singing songs, talking to the kid, etc. -- the stuff my mom does all day with him. kid seems to mostly play on his own and there's not a whole lot of active interaction/enthusiasm/education.
I totally love my own kid to death, but I'm not a "baby person" who goes crazy over other people's kids and I get where she's coming from. I would hate having to watch someone else's kid for 8 hrs a day. if I had her job, I'd just go thru the motions and count down the hours until I can leave.
the nanny is a nice person and shows up and isn't going to kill the kid, plus we're at home so we'd know if anything bad was happening. I kind of feel like the nanny is good enough if she's showing up and not killing the kid.
I know it's hard to find a good nanny. should we be happy with what we have, or do I have too low expectations? |
Are you expecting her to clean too? What is she busy with?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
Frumme
|
Thu, Sep 02 2021, 1:05 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: |
there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of reading to the kid, singing songs, talking to the kid, etc. -- the stuff my mom does all day with him. kid seems to mostly play on his own and there's not a whole lot of active interaction/enthusiasm/education. |
I will say, it seems like your mom goes above and beyond so I can see how you might be nervous of setting the bar too high. But that doesn't mean the bar needs to be really low.
If you don't think your nanny is doing enough, speak with her! Give her a sample schedule of what you'd like to see, or suggest going out to the park or on walks daily etc. Ask if she can sing more or do more reading. If you don't see improvement after a little bit, then I'd be more concerned. But maybe you weren't clear on your expectations at first so she feels she is doing the appropriate thing currently
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
| Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
Help me- GF, no tomato, low acid and spice, no nuts, variety
|
8 |
Fri, Apr 12 2024, 12:44 pm  |
|
|
ISO low-calorie muffin recipe
|
1 |
Mon, Apr 08 2024, 12:42 am |
|
|
Where in Boro Park can I find a low carb treat for lunch?
|
4 |
Thu, Apr 04 2024, 11:19 am |
|
|
Any day camps in Brooklyn that are low key?
|
15 |
Tue, Apr 02 2024, 1:47 pm |
|
|
Low cost clinic for dental implants
|
1 |
Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:42 pm |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
