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PSA - parents watch your children!
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:14 pm
This shabbos, on the way to the nearby park with my children, I watched in horror as a 2 year old girl, was running across a street, at a red light, with cars coming, all alone. I left my kids with my husband and chased after her, with full speed. After bh reaching her and getting her to safety. Her 8 year old brother, far up on the block ahead, comes back. He tells me they are walking back to his grandparents house. I see He is not careful with crossing the street either, not that this is my only concern, and I calmly tell him I'll be walking back with him and his sister. He is very trusting of me (good in this situation, but I can see this as worrisome as well). Younger sister is very hot, and looks so tired, and I carry her back in my arms. They had gone far from the house, and the boy tells me he originally took his sister to a nearby park, and then decided to keep going to one further away. It is nothing short of hashems chessed, that these children are okay. I dont care what the excuse is, but such children should not have been let to go out unsupervised, even in a heavily jewish neighborhood. And please dont tell me, it was the 8 years olds responsibility. He is 8!! I think of all the horrific things that could have happened chas ve shalom and have shivers. Please dont let your children lives end up as a news story because of a lack of supervision.
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amother




Leaf
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:18 pm
I don't think most people do this. Did you say something to the family when you got there? I think they are the ones that need the mussar speech.
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amother




Jade
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:19 pm
Wow, that is scary. What did the parents say when you brought them back?
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amother




Vermilion
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:23 pm
I let my 7 and 3 year old play in front of our house on a block with at least 200 frum families. They know not to talk to strangers and not to go anywhere. I check on them every 10-15 minutes. Is that ok? I am never sure. Everyone else on the block does the same.
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:31 pm
All I can say is stupid parents who are lucky you were there.
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Tirza




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:33 pm
Vermilion, no, that is not ok. A 3 year old can easily run out into the street, fall and hurt herself, or get into other kinds of danger, and it will happen in a few seconds, so checking every 10-15 minutes is not at all sufficient. And please don’t rely on your 7 year old to watch the 3 year old. 7 year olds playing outside also need to be watched by an adult.
Please don’t send your kids out to play if you’re not able to go out also and watch them the whole time.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:35 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
I let my 7 and 3 year old play in front of our house on a block with at least 200 frum families. They know not to talk to strangers and not to go anywhere. I check on them every 10-15 minutes. Is that ok? I am never sure. Everyone else on the block does the same.


No. Unless in those 10-15 minutes youve designated a neighborhing adult to keep an eye on your kids, and I mean really supervising (not head in a book or chatting to others). It takes a minute for something to happen.
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amother




Crocus
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:35 pm
Tirza wrote:
Vermilion, no, that is not ok. A 3 year old can easily run out into the street, fall and hurt herself, or get into other kinds of danger, and it will happen in a few seconds, so checking every 10-15 minutes is not at all sufficient. And please don’t rely on your 7 year old to watch the 3 year old. 7 year olds playing outside also need to be watched by an adult.
Please don’t send your kids out to play if you’re not able to go out also and watch them the whole time.


If it's ok or not, depends on where you live. Not everyone lives near a street. Some developments are totally off the street. You also have to know your kid.
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amother




Natural
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:36 pm
I think people are relying on it being a "frum" neighborhood and that is a dangerous assumption.

For starters wasn't there an abduction a few years ago in a frum neighborhood by a pedophile who blended in.

Also many children are snatched and abducted from very safe suburban neighborhoods where people feel that it is safe. There is nothing about a frum neighborhood that is safer than a nice suburban neighborhood where theoretically everyone knows everyone else. Those parents made the same assumptions you are making - that because the neighborhood is "frum" - e.g. nice middle class people - nothing bad can happen.
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amother




Crocus
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
No. Unless in those 10-15 minutes youve designated a neighborhing adult to keep an eye on your kids, and I mean really supervising (not head in a book or chatting to others). It takes a minute for something to happen.


This can be said for kids of all ages.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:44 pm
amother [ Crocus ] wrote:
If it's ok or not, depends on where you live. Not everyone lives near a street. Some developments are totally off the street. You also have to know your kid.


Crocus, no its not ok. Besides for getting out to the street, there is physical harm that can happen to your child, simply because no adult was watching them. (I.e., "dont climb that") Sure accidents happen, but wouldnt you want to take caution and prevent as many as you could. Plus if these are spaces with lots of kids and adults, seems like neighboring adults and visitors can get in. Do you trust all your 200 families with your kids, their Shabbos guests? Also "they know not to talk to strangers or go out" sure they can know a rule, but you need to be there to oversee it. They can know it and not listen. Especially if no adult is there. All it takes is 1 time.
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amother




Natural
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:44 pm
amother [ Crocus ] wrote:
This can be said for kids of all ages.


This was in response to a 7 and 3 year old.

That is quite different than the supervision needed for a 12 year old but both of then are "kids".

A 3 year old is a baby and a 7 year old does not have a brain that is developed enough to be responsible for their own behavior let alone to supervise a 3 year old.
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behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:47 pm
Normal parents wouldn't allow this. My guess is there is more than this dysfunction going on in this household.
Also I personally wouldn't hold a strange child. You could be charged with kidnapping.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:48 pm
amother [ Natural ] wrote:
I think you people are relying on it being a "frum" neighborhood and that is a dangerous assumption.

For starters wasn't there an abduction a few years ago in a frum neighborhood by a pedophile who blended in.

Also many children are snatched and abducted from very safe suburban neighborhoods where people feel that it is safe. There is nothing about a frum neighborhood that is safer than a nice suburban neighborhood where theoretically everyone knows everyone else. Those parents made the same assumptions you are making - that because the neighborhood is "frum" - e.g. nice middle class people - nothing bad can happen.


Agreed! By the nonchalance of the family, this was definitely the Assumption. And I am here to tell you, it is naive and stupid! I worry in fact, that the kids were brought back safe, reinforced the parents thinking. As in, see a nice frum couple brought them back home, nothing happened. But as I said, that is a miracle. Consider all the other horrific possibilities.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:49 pm
That was very likely a neglectful situation. I’m afraid your PSA is more like a vent.
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:50 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
This shabbos, on the way to the nearby park with my children, I watched in horror as a 2 year old girl, was running across a street, at a red light, with cars coming, all alone. I left my kids with my husband and chased after her, with full speed. After bh reaching her and getting her to safety. Her 8 year old brother, far up on the block ahead, comes back. He tells me they are walking back to his grandparents house. I see He is not careful with crossing the street either, not that this is my only concern, and I calmly tell him I'll be walking back with him and his sister. He is very trusting of me (good in this situation, but I can see this as worrisome as well). Younger sister is very hot, and looks so tired, and I carry her back in my arms. They had gone far from the house, and the boy tells me he originally took his sister to a nearby park, and then decided to keep going to one further away. It is nothing short of hashems chessed, that these children are okay. I dont care what the excuse is, but such children should not have been let to go out unsupervised, even in a heavily jewish neighborhood. And please dont tell me, it was the 8 years olds responsibility. He is 8!! I think of all the horrific things that could have happened chas ve shalom and have shivers. Please dont let your children lives end up as a news story because of a lack of supervision.


You’re a tzadeikes, and I hope you told the mother off!
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:51 pm
behappy2 wrote:
Normal parents wouldn't allow this. My guess is there is more than this dysfunction going on in this household.
Also I personally wouldn't hold a strange child. You could be charged with kidnapping.


I did consider this actually. Unfortunately she was really tired and the walk was not short. I had no choice. I spoke to her and the brother before picking her up, just not to scare them. But it was my only means of getting them back. So this was the decision.
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 9:51 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
I let my 7 and 3 year old play in front of our house on a block with at least 200 frum families. They know not to talk to strangers and not to go anywhere. I check on them every 10-15 minutes. Is that ok? I am never sure. Everyone else on the block does the same.


No it’s not ok! You really think a 3 yr old can be trusted and “knows not to talk to strangers?!” Seriously? Sometimes I think it’s only through the grace of Gd that some kids survive childhood..
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amother




Fern
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 10:18 pm
I live in a popular lakewood area and I rarely if ever see an adult watching any children outside
Dozens of little children on each block, I've seen children run across the street without looking too many times to count! It's a miracle we dont hear of children being hit and C'V killed every day.
Perhaps the parents think their elementary age children are old enough to watch the toddlers, they are not! I've seen babies in strollers outside alone also too many times to count! I've seen preschool age kids run across the street without looking with younger siblings they are too young to be watching.

Once a baby was in the street and the toddler sibling was on the curb screaming "come back!" Evidently the mother taught the toddler to not go in the street, but a 3 yr old is not old enough to watch a baby! BH no cars were coming! (I waited till the mother came out, she looked indifferent)

If I saw the front door was open with little children outside I'd assume the parent ran in for 30 seconds to turn off the oven etc. But because the front door is closed and no adults in sight it looks like ppl dont find a problem with their little children outside alone where anything can happen. And all it takes is a minute for a kidnapper to throw a kid in the car and all the other preschoolers would be able to tell the police: "it was a [gentile]!" So helpful.

I've always assumed that I'm just overly protective because I waited years until I was blessed with children, nice to see I'm not the only one who cares and thinks it crazy how little children arent supervised
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CPenzias




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 11 2021, 10:23 pm
Wow! Bh you were there to protect them. That is so scary. I have an 8 year old and she's not allowed out by herself. She knows when she wants to ride her scooter someone has to watch her
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