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Do your bentch your children erev YK?

 
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Poll

Do you bentch your children erev YK?
No  
 4%  [ 5 ]
Yes - DH does - married and unmarried  
 60%  [ 62 ]
Yes - Me and DH do - married and unmarried  
 15%  [ 16 ]
Yes - Me not DH - married and unmarried  
 1%  [ 2 ]
Yes - DH does - just unmarried children  
 14%  [ 15 ]
Yes - Me and DH do - just unmarried children  
 0%  [ 1 ]
Yes - Me not DH - just unmarried children  
 0%  [ 0 ]
Other  
 1%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 103


amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 10:04 pm
S/o of that thread with a poll.
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TravelHearter




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 10:17 pm
There’s no option for yes DH and I but kids are all unmarried
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 10:18 pm
TravelHearter wrote:
There’s no option for yes DH and I but kids are all unmarried


What would you do if they were married.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 10:22 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
S/o of that thread with a poll.

All of our kids are young, but we do, my parents do (app my siblings are married) and my in laws do (app of their children are married too.)
My husband and I also both give our kids brachos every Friday night before kiddush. My in laws don’t, growing up only my father did, but when I became a mother I wanted to do it too, so I do. My girls also light a candle with me for shabbos and Yom tov, even though that no bag is not in either of our families.
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TravelHearter




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 10:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
What would you do if they were married.

Still give them Brachos b’n. Maybe not with Shem Hashem
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amother




DarkViolet
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 11:21 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
What would you do if they were married.

I voted unmarried. If my married kids would be by me for yom kippur I would obviously bentch them too. Why not? They're my children too,no?
Just seems funny to me to bentch kids that are not around!
Actually not sure what I'll do about my unmarried kids oot(one in yeshiva and one in seminary). I have to think about it!
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 12:03 am
TravelHearter wrote:
Still give them Brachos b’n. Maybe not with Shem Hashem


Why ever not ? Scratching Head

Sorry but that is so odd. If you are blessing them why would you leave Hashems name out?

And why would anyone stop blessing their married children? This whole concept is so strange. If they’re not there, fine. But if they are there, why wouldn’t you?

My father and grandfathers bless all their children , grand children and great grand children on erev Yom Kippur. We usually drive to their house specifically for this purpose.
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amother




Moonstone
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 12:08 am
My parents both bentch married and unmarried. We go to my parents house on erev Yom Kippur to get bentched. Those that can't come get bentched over the phone.
DH and I both bentch our kids (all young).
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amother




Obsidian
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 12:19 am
DH and I both bench our children erev YK and Friday nights. I can't imagine we'll stop once they're married. Our parents still bench us and also our spouses and children.

This year my parents are going to be away YK through Succos so they benched us on erev RH instead. I would assume we'd do something similar with our children once they're out of the house. If we can see them in person from say Elul onward we'd bench them when we could and otherwise we'd bench them over the phone if they're too far away. Actually, come to think of it, I remember my parents benching me for YK before I left for seminary so they could do so in person.
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salt




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 2:09 am
amother [ DarkViolet ] wrote:
I voted unmarried. If my married kids would be by me for yom kippur I would obviously bentch them too. Why not? They're my children too,no?

Just seems funny to me to bentch kids that are not around!

Actually not sure what I'll do about my unmarried kids oot(one in yeshiva and one in seminary). I have to think about it!


I do it over the phone Smile
I get the feeling that since they are hearing me bench them it's more than just a bracha to the air, so to speak!
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Aylat




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 2:19 am
amother [ DarkViolet ] wrote:
I voted unmarried. If my married kids would be by me for yom kippur I would obviously bentch them too. Why not? They're my children too,no?
Just seems funny to me to bentch kids that are not around!
Actually not sure what I'll do about my unmarried kids oot(one in yeshiva and one in seminary). I have to think about it!


Whenever my daughter is in the dorm over Shabbat, I give her a bracha over the phone when I speak to her on Friday.
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 5:40 am
I speak to my parents every Friday specifically to get a bracha.
I think it would be strange to stop benching kids just because they're married. And they are not always around even if they aren't married.
I will continue to bentch my children even after they get married.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 8:32 am
TravelHearter wrote:
Still give them Brachos b’n. Maybe not with Shem Hashem

Why without Hashems name? What changes after they are married?
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 8:36 am
amother [ DarkViolet ] wrote:
I voted unmarried. If my married kids would be by me for yom kippur I would obviously bentch them too. Why not? They're my children too,no?
Just seems funny to me to bentch kids that are not around!
Actually not sure what I'll do about my unmarried kids oot(one in yeshiva and one in seminary). I have to think about it!

Why not over the phone? That’s what my parents (well, now just my mom) and in laws do.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 9:29 am
TravelHearter wrote:
Still give them Brachos b’n. Maybe not with Shem Hashem
Why ever not?
Ive been in israel almost 2 decades. Before my parents made aliyah my father called every friday and before yom kippur. Same after I got married. And after I wed, my father also blessed my husband as well.
Of course with hashem's name.
Please explain why not?
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amother




Snapdragon
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 9:32 am
My father benches his children ever erev Yom Kippur from when we were very little.
This didn't stop when I got married. I call specifically for my bracha.
This didn't stop when he forgot the words. I now say it with him. Crying
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 10:30 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
Why ever not ? Scratching Head

Sorry but that is so odd. If you are blessing them why would you leave Hashems name out?

And why would anyone stop blessing their married children? This whole concept is so strange. If they’re not there, fine. But if they are there, why wouldn’t you?

My father and grandfathers bless all their children , grand children and great grand children on erev Yom Kippur. We usually drive to their house specifically for this purpose.


Because people do what their parents did. Some do unmarried only and some do married and even grandkids depending on what their parents did.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Sep 14 2021, 11:55 am
DD lives in another country, but I always bentch her in my heart.
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