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5 year old doesn't stop talking
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amother




Amaranthus
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 4:46 pm
honeymoon wrote:
How do you handle a highly intelligent kid who needs to explain to you how airplanes fly and why ships don't sink and which animals live off other animals etc etc? I'm proud of the kids knowledge and love of learning but listening and showing interest all the time, all day every day, gets really tiring.


My smartest children don't talk much at all. And I can also explain to them why it's not necessary to talk and share everything with people. My children who like to talk and talk before they think I do timers with them and they may talk for this much time. Must be quite for this much. And BH it works.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 4:49 pm
amother [ Amaranthus ] wrote:
My smartest children don't talk much at all. And I can also explain to them why it's not necessary to talk and share everything with people. My children who like to talk and talk before they think I do timers with them and they may talk for this much time. Must be quite for this much. And BH it works.

It works as in it keeps them quiet. For most of us that’s not the ultimate goal.
Teaching children that talking is bad and they have to repress their natural desire to share and connect can be very harmful.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 4:55 pm
Zehava wrote:
First step is working through what is triggering you in her behavior


My trigger is that it feels like if she says she can't handle it she can't. So if she keeps asking me to listen to her it must mean she really needs me . And I just can't Sad
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 4:58 pm
amother [ Chicory ] wrote:
If she’s an anxious type (needing you to stay in the bathroom with her, very dramatic about booboos) it may literally be a compulsion, or, an attempt to drown out intrusive thoughts. I’ve heard of kids like this who stopped doing this when they were treated for anxiety. Note, I am NOT trying to pathologize what might be perfectly normal 5yo behavior, just pointing out what might possibly be going on if there’s a larger picture we’re not seeing. It’s about context.


As a baby she cried a ton. I couldn't get her to calm down. I was up with her all night every night for about a year. When she heard a loud noise she SCREAMED hysterically. On the other hand she could be in her own world talking to her dolls for an hour. It seems like her whole body is jacked up.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:00 pm
Do you think it is anxiety?
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honeymoon




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:02 pm
amother [ Amaranthus ] wrote:
My smartest children don't talk much at all. And I can also explain to them why it's not necessary to talk and share everything with people. My children who like to talk and talk before they think I do timers with them and they may talk for this much time. Must be quite for this much. And BH it works.


Each to their own. My smartest kid, bless him, is my biggest chatterbox. He believes my life will lack meaning if I don't know how foundations are poured and about time zones and the Arctic Circle. Its like background music, but don't feel like dampening his enthusiasm for knowledge and the excitement of sharing it with me. The only thing that works to get him to be quiet are books.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:05 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
Do you think it is anxiety?


I don't know. I think it's more a dysregulation thing. Now that I'm writing this maybe I should try to get her OT.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:07 pm
honeymoon wrote:
Each to their own. My smartest kid, bless him, is my biggest chatterbox. He believes my life will lack meaning if I don't know how foundations are poured and about time zones and the Arctic Circle. Its like background music, but don't feel like dampening his enthusiasm for knowledge and the excitement of sharing it with me. The only thing that works to get him to be quiet are books.


Happens to be I have a kid like that too. That type I can handle. This type needs tons of feedback. Like. Do you see what I drew? It's pretty? And now I'm going to do this etc.. One kid will go outside and she will say "Mommy, so and so went outside. She probably went to Dina to play" literally the news reporter.
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honeymoon




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:17 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Happens to be I have a kid like that too. That type I can handle. This type needs tons of feedback. Like. Do you see what I drew? It's pretty? And now I'm going to do this etc.. One kid will go outside and she will say "Mommy, so and so went outside. She probably went to Dina to play" literally the news reporter.


Its interesting because I have a kid like this too but I find it doesn't take much to say 'wow! great job!' and move on while my other kid really needs me to concentrate on his latest experiment or long drawn out explanation of something or another.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:19 pm
honeymoon wrote:
Its interesting because I have a kid like this too but I find it doesn't take much to say 'wow! great job!' and move on while my other kid really needs me to concentrate on his latest experiment or long drawn out explanation of something or another.


Ok. So maybe it's personality. This other one I can say "would love to hear. Give me 10 minutes she then I can really listen" my 5 year old just wouldn't even give me 30 seconds.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:23 pm
Just now was in the kitchen with my back turned toward her and I hear her go "ketchup. Ketchup. I SAID KETCHUP!" She goes from 1 to 100.
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amother




Chicory
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:30 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
As a baby she cried a ton. I couldn't get her to calm down. I was up with her all night every night for about a year. When she heard a loud noise she SCREAMED hysterically. On the other hand she could be in her own world talking to her dolls for an hour. It seems like her whole body is jacked up.
It could be her nervous system is stuck in a high arousal state. You can try things that will help calm her nervous system. Craniosacral with a focus on vagus nerve is great for this. Magnesium and epsom salt footsoaks are amazing for calming the nervous system. Methylated b vitamins can help. Eliminating inflammatory foods like gluten, dairy, corn, soy, sugar, dyes is a big piece for some kids. Also neurotransmitter support like GABA, inositol, l theanine, 5htp. And I’m probably going to get creamed for saying this, but cbd may be worth a shot too.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My trigger is that it feels like if she says she can't handle it she can't. So if she keeps asking me to listen to her it must mean she really needs me . And I just can't Sad

And then you resent her for putting you in this position to begin with. But she’s only five.
Has anyone else in your life ever put you in a position where you needed to choose between saving them/helping them and your own survival/wellbeing?
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:33 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
As a baby she cried a ton. I couldn't get her to calm down. I was up with her all night every night for about a year. When she heard a loud noise she SCREAMED hysterically. On the other hand she could be in her own world talking to her dolls for an hour. It seems like her whole body is jacked up.

This seems a bit ASD to me. With SPD mixed in.
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amother




Chicory
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 5:33 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My trigger is that it feels like if she says she can't handle it she can't. So if she keeps asking me to listen to her it must mean she really needs me . And I just can't Sad
I have a personal theory that when a fairly healthy parent can’t handle a kids neediness, there’s something unnatural about the level of neediness, and it needs to be addressed on the kids end. I’m not saying that the parent shouldn’t try to address their triggers as best as they can, and give their kid as much as they can, or that the parent is absolved of responsibility, or that there is something morally “wrong” with a kid who needs that much. Just something I’ve observed in my own life and that others have agreed with. Addressed on the kids end I don’t mean shutting the kid up, I mean addressing the root causes of the neediness . The kid doesn’t even have to know.
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 6:00 pm
Zehava wrote:
This seems a bit ASD to me. With SPD mixed in.


I was also going to suggest sensory issues. Not necessarily on the level of a diagnosis, but it could be this dc has more needs in regards to sensory things. It made me think of my dd who was the same as a baby, and she definitely has sensory issues. Now at 9, she constantly is wanting to hug me or wanting me to hug her, or to sit on my lap, or for me to give her chills.

I think this is separate from the talking issue BUT, it could be she likes hearing noise, which is also sensory, and that's part of why she yells so quickly? Maybe it pays to have her evaluated for OT? If not, you can google a Sensory Diet and see if anything helps her stay calm.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 6:35 pm
So the ASD for sure not. She is so on the ball. The SPD could be. I will look into OT and a sensory diet and some of those supplements.

And to answer you Zehava, yes, my parents. The rule I learned was if someone wants something than your needs don't matter. And especially you look to see their reaction. And in this case my daughter's over reaction is a big trigger. Yes.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 17 2021, 6:38 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So the ASD for sure not. She is so on the ball. The SPD could be. I will look into OT and a sensory diet and some of those supplements.

And to answer you Zehava, yes, my parents. The rule I learned was if someone wants something than your needs don't matter. And especially you look to see their reaction. And in this case my daughter's over reaction is a big trigger. Yes.

That’s codependency. Once you heal that you will be in a way better place to parent your daughter.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 18 2021, 1:44 pm
This is my DD to a T, and at 18 she's still like this. Since she's halfway around the world from me, I'm happy that she loves to communicate so much.

When she was little, I called her "The Sonic Pest Repeller". We lived in a really shady apartment building at the very edge of the eruv, and there was an outdoor stairway right alongside our front door. Gang members had turned it into their own private business space. DD would go outside (I watched her from the open window), and would say:

"Hi, my name is X, what's yours? You all have red bandanas. You must like red a lot. I like red, but my favorite color is purple. Do you have a dog? I have a dog. Her name is Daisy and she is a pug. She's a nice dog. *phone rings* Who's on the phone? What did they want? Hey, where are you guys going?"

LOL

This happened 3 days in a row, and on the 4th day they never came back. Very Happy

I often joked that we spend the first year of our child's life teaching them to walk and talk, and the rest of their life trying to get them to sit still and be quiet!

When we're on a video call, she'll talk for 3 hours straight, and I might get a few sentences in edgewise if I can catch her taking a breath.

https://www.understood.org/art.....nstop
https://www.parents.com/parent.....-kid/

Speech and language is really important to teach kids how to take turns in conversation. DD had 3 years of therapy, but I think she needed it earlier because it didn't really seem to stick.
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post Sat, Sep 18 2021, 10:42 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So the ASD for sure not. She is so on the ball. The SPD could be. I will look into OT and a sensory diet and some of those supplements.

And to answer you Zehava, yes, my parents. The rule I learned was if someone wants something than your needs don't matter. And especially you look to see their reaction. And in this case my daughter's over reaction is a big trigger. Yes.


Just to clarify, the sensory diet isn't supplements, it's building different sensory experiences into the child's day. Ex. Sandbox, weighted blanket, headphones with calming music.
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