How I Became Jewish

Hadassa Avra

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:02 pm

ChossidMom suggested that I post my story (on March 5 in my Howdy/intro thread embarrassed

). Finally it's here...

There were so many influences and thoughts that went into this very long process that I must ask you to forgive me if this doesn’t flow so well.

I was raised in rural South Western Ontario near the sunny shores of Lake Huron. My family lived on a pig farm. We went to church every Sunday. For those of you not familiar with the United Church of Canada (that would be all of you I suppose) it is the largest and probably the most liberal Protestant denomination in Canada.

The first time I showed an interest in being Jewish was probably around the age of 11. Mom made pork chops for supper. I really didn’t want to eat that piece of dry grey meat so I announced “I can’t eat that. I’m Jewish.” *

Much more serious consideration of the Jewish faith came not much later. I had started to listen to Bob Dylan and then Leonard Cohen** by age 13. I loved them both and was intrigued by the Jews. A couple years later my love of Leonard lead me to Irving Layton**, a poet who was a friend and major influence on him. Layton wrote much more about Judaism and a great deal on the Holocaust. I started to read about Judaism to understand his poetry better.

While this was going on I had been questioning my family’s faith. I was raised on a pig farm. I ate pork – ALOT. And there Leviticus 11 is the prohibition against eating pigs. I also looked at the world around me and realized there was no way that the Messiah had been here because look at this mess! And various other things about Xianity that make absolutely no sense (like if JC is G-d incarnate and JC is dead does that mean G-d is dead? ). I’m sure that I don’t have to convince any of you of the ridiculousness of Xianity.

By mid-high school, 16 years or so, I considered myself an agnostic leaning toward Judaism – If there is a G-d then the Jews have it right. Around this time I also started having medical problems although I didn’t realize it for about a year and a half. I was done high school but decided to stay an extra year. I should have been jumping for joy to be getting away from my evil step-father but instead I was spending an extra year in h*ll. I finally went to see my doctor about my fatigue, depression/suicidal thoughts, etc. It turns out that I had thyroid cancer and it was good that I was at home not university.

Talk about your blessings in disguise. If I had not stayed home that year I would have taken math or science (I was sick of both by the end of first year grade 13) in Waterloo or London (both have little/no Jewish community). Near the beginning of my second year of grade 13 I decided that I wanted to be Jewish. My school plans changed. I would have to go to Toronto or Montreal. I chose Montreal because it was further from home and because of Mordechai Richler**. I ended up taking Judaic Studies with History minor. The summer before I left my mother told me “Remember at the end of it all you’re still a Christian”. “Umm, sorry Mom, but no I’m not.”

Originally I had been planning on going Conservative. Everything I knew came from books. I hated skirts, so Conservative was for me. Then I actually went to a Conservative congregation a few times. It was very… church like. A friend I made at university explained to me that most people wouldn’t accept me as a Jew if I didn’t convert Orthodox. After learning much more from real people about what it really is to be Jewish I decided that Orthodox truly was the only way. I asked my rabbi professor*** who I should contact about converting. I called, met with the beth din and about 1 ½ years after coming to Montreal to convert I was in a conversion class. Very Happy

The first time I told my mom I was becoming Jewish she cried. The second time we spoke about it I explained to her that what she calls “The Old Testament” is the Jewish Bible. She seemed to be more comfortable after that. How she could hear the stories of Moses leading the Hebrews out of slavery, King David, etc and not know it was Jewish is beyond me.

I was in the conversion class for about 3 years. It was a bit longer than most. I was young and from out of town. It would have been irresponsible for the beth din to convert me before I had put down roots (graduated uni & found a job) in the community. On December 21, 1999, my 24th birthday, I went to the mikvah. Yay! Bounce

I chose the name Hadassa Avra becasue my English initials are H.A. and I like the name. For the really bad joke regarding why Avra see here.

* In the end I think I ate the pork chop. Rolling Eyes

** Three frie Montreal Jews. Two of which were raised very frum.
*** I later found out that this rabbi is one of the reasons that Montreal has such a well structured and respected conversion process. The Montreal community didn’t want him and his ilk doing conversions of convenience anymore. Baruch Hashem!

yo'ma

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:07 pm

thank you, that was truly beautiful and inspiring.

happymom

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:08 pm

wow! thats amazing that you knew so much what u wanted at such a young age. btw I think the joke is cute Wink

ArthurDent

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:27 pm

Lovely story. I'm amazed at how in tune you were with yourself and with the message in the Torah.

I also chose my name by picking one close to my English name. If you spelled my english name with Hebrew letters and add a ה (like Avraham or Sarah), you've got my Hebrew name!

amother

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:41 pm

Nice story Hadassah...

I think it is interesting that you found the internal consistencies in Xtianity early on and that is what bothered you...

I also wondered how anyone with a brain could be an Xtian...

I read the whole "Bible" one summer around the age of 10. (it was King James, so of course, not like the Tanach, l'havdil)

I just couldn't believe there could be something like the New Testament. But didn't G-d make a covenant with the Jews that would be kept no matter what. And no matter what the Jews did, Hashem insisted that he would keep the promise, in spite of the punishments and exiles that might occur.

I just could no longer believe in a New Testament or which basically says that G-d chas v'shalom, scrapped the deal with the Jews...I didnt' want to believe in a god that breaks promises.

Also, I didn't understand why the Xtians say they believe in the Ten Commandments, yet worship Yoshke...

and if they believe all the "forms" of G-d are "one" then why are they out to convert Jews and Muslims? Why would they mind if we just worship G-d the "father"?

Anyway, I asked my minister many of these questions and he said "You ask too many questions...you are a doubting Thomas." (those who are familiar with Xtianity know who that is...I won't go into it here)...

Years later, long after I converted to Judaism, I found out this minister was having affairs with women in the church...I found out because he tried to hit on my mother a month after my dad died Mad

She told him to take a hike...

No wonder he didn't like people who asked too many questions!!! LOL

gryp

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:50 pm

Thank you for sharing your story. And I like the Avra joke too. Smile

Squash

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 11:19 pm

thank you for sharing. I'm always so awestruck when I hear about baalei tshuva/geirim being so "in touch" with their inner selves, if you will, and at such a young age yet.

mamash mamash amazing. thank you

GAMZu

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 1:02 am

Wow, I am in awe. So amazing how these things unfold, isn't it?

mom of girls

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 1:17 am

Your story is really amazing!!

ChossidMom

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 2:19 am

Thank you for sharing that!!

I think that it is totally clear that although it seems you arrived at Judaism through some intellectual thought, you simply had/have a Jewish neshama that just wouldn't let up till you converted!! That is what enabled you to be able to see Emes (even though you were eating all that pork). You are one lucky lady. I have a non Jewish friend in Oklahoma and she sees how pagan Christianity is and she recognizes all the hypocricy. Poor woman - She and her husband just can't find a place that they fit in. I suspect they also may have Jewish neshamas but they can't let go of the "Yoshke is the Messiah" thing. She refuses to stick with Sheva Mitzvos Bnei Noach because she loves God so much she wants to do everything!! They build a tent of Succos (lol) and read the Torah on Saturday at a special, small prayer group in their home. They stopped going to church years ago. They homeschool their kids. They feel that they want to be "God's people" so they try to keep mitzvos. It's weird. And all the while they are waiting for J**** to come back. Sigh.

BTW, there are many more people out there who see the ridiculousness of Christianity but just don't know where to turn. That's why I think you're a lucky lady, Hadassah. You found the way home.

Marion

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 4:18 am

I am, actually, familiar with the United Church of Canada...actually I think most people who don't grow up in bubbles have "some" familiarity with the churches and people around them.

Just curious, which Rabbi/professor were you in touch with? (Yes, I'm a former Toronto/Montrealer.) Which Conservative shul did you visit? They're not all the same, especially in Montreal! And which uni were you studying at (I'm assuming McGill or Concordia)?

freidasima

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 9:19 am

what a marvelous life story...thank you for sharing with us.

Imawoman

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 9:30 am

I have absolutely no clue what churches are around me. My area is really Jewish.

red sea

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 2:38 pm

Thanks for sharing HA. That is a really, wow...ok, cant think of the right word right now.

Nicole

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 7:42 pm

Beautiful, thank you.
What does Avra mean? I haven't heard of it.

Hadassa Avra

Thu, Apr 10 2008, 1:02 pm

amother wrote:

I also wondered how anyone with a brain could be an Xtian...

Because most people don't actually think about it - they just do as & believe in what they are told.

Marion wrote:

Just curious, which Rabbi/professor were you in touch with? (Yes, I'm a former Toronto/Montrealer.) Which Conservative shul did you visit? They're not all the same, especially in Montreal! And which uni were you studying at (I'm assuming McGill or Concordia)?

Rabbi Howard Joseph was the rabbi/prof I spoke to.
I went to Beth-El in TMR on Lucerne
Concordia

Nicole wrote:

What does Avra mean?

It's a feminine form of Avraham.

Marion

Thu, Apr 10 2008, 9:17 pm

Hadassa Avra
[quote="Marion wrote:

Rabbi Howard Joseph was the rabbi/prof I spoke to.
I went to Beth-El in TMR on Lucerne
Concordia
[/quote]

I don't think I was ever there. Wait, I was once, I think, for a bar mitzvah. Or maybe we didn't go for the davening because it was too far to walk from Cote St-Luc, outside the eruv, and my little sister would have been maybe 2? I don't remember.

pinkcrystal

Thu, Apr 10 2008, 9:26 pm

thank you for sharing your story. It was very inspiring.

greenfire

Thu, Apr 10 2008, 9:36 pm

kool story Mr. Green

amother

Thu, Apr 10 2008, 9:49 pm

interesting... I am in touch w/ 2 different women who are in the conversion process, 1 orthodox and 1 conservative here in Montreal.