Chizzuk needed - your Learning disabled child as an adult

amother

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 10:25 pm

I have a gorgeous second grader daughter who has a lot of difficulty learning and with executive functions. I thought I was going to pull my hair out studying with her for her modified three word spelling test. She literally ended up in a tantrum on the floor.

She is Bh a very healthy child socially. Kids from the neighborhood are always knocking on the door to play with her. She shines in day camp and was a breeze to deal with during the summer.

I know schooling will sadly probably always be difficult for her. I am looking at my classmates now and we are in our mid thirties and with the exception of one, all the kids who struggled academically are doing just fine now and are all Bh successsul in adult life.

Do you have a child that schooling was an issue for and they are now successful adults.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 12:16 am

I just posted in the other thread about my daughter. There is definitely hope. It will not always be easy to just let go, but along with getting her the help she needs, as her mom your only job is to love her through it all. Leave her academics to up to her teachers and tutors and just have fun and joyous times together.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 12:29 am

I reiterate strongly what tiffanyblue wrote. Academics I a challenge for your daughter. Being the one to do homework with her will cause very much frustration and ultimately anger and bad feelings between the two of you. Its very important to not put yourselves in this position. Get a tutor to help with homework and work with ot/other professionals to help her organize herself...

amother

Grape

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:56 am

My son had a very difficult time in school and went from school to school. He was never really successful at it but always was socially okay. He did 3 years of the army in Israel and became very independent. He now has a job working and learning construction. He is getting paid quite well while he is learning the business And he has the potential to go on and really open a successful business of his own and construction. The man who took him under his wings has taken on a number of ways like this and they have all gone on to be extremely successful while working on many projects of once and really bringing in a nice income. He is married to a great super book smart lady. Only saying that because it really didn't affect who he married. He is extremely street smart and it certainly capable of a lot of things just not sitting through college. So yes I believe someone can be very successful even without having all of the books smarts.

amother

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:37 am

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

I am working on finding a tutor for her to do homework with. She is very very against as she tells me no else in the family has one and no one else in the family gets pulled out during school. I am davening that I found a cute fun young post sem girl who my daughter will adore and it will be amazing. I know I am lucky but the biggest stress right now in my life is literally doing homework with her every night. If I can get it off my plate my evenings will be different....

amother

Diamond

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:39 am

Stay strong and keep putting into her, one day she will hopefully blossom into a capable talented young lady and you'll reap the fruits of your labor (and $$$$)

My sis was severely learning disabled as a child (severely limited in many and reading writing as well as social skills) she grew into a young loving mother and wife and though she isnt a math whiz she is BH beyond functioning. She runs a better household than me!

Its very disheartening to keep putting in and not seeing results, hang in there. Believe in prayer and believe in better days for her.

You deserve lots of credit, it aint easy.

amother

PlumPink

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 12:47 pm

I can cry with you about my 2nd grader and I have been getting her help for years don’t look for a fun girl find someone qualified to work with her . Summer was also amazing my dd is begging for camp again . Even if they do fine as adults they have year ahead where they need to be in school and not feel completely overwhelmed. Find activity’s she likes and focus on those .

amother

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:15 pm

amother [ PlumPink ] wrote:

I had her evaluated extensively and there is bh no specific issue just a general learning issue and adhd to top it off so getting her to focus and have decent executive functions adds to the challenge. She did best in school with the young fun teachers who gave her time of day and weren't stuck on their methods yet. Also, if I am looking for someone to come to the house 5 days a week for a half hour only a post sem girl will really take a job like that.

amother

Orange

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 2:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You have a great start bh obviously you want her to be literate and have basic math skills but please don't lose sight of what I think is the most important goal, To raise her with her self esteem intact. That might mean making decisions that are best for her at the expense of your pride or image because if she feels confident she will find success

amother

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 3:18 pm

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

If you are nicely trying to tell me to put her in a special school I specifically asked the school last year and they said she 100 percent belongs in a mainstream school and yes she does need support which she is bh getting (although I really wish I saw more results....)

amother

Dill

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:23 pm

She needs a tutor with experience in learning difficulties otherwise she will get stressed out. OP, depending on what the issue is, the right intervention can be effective enough for her not to have any issues in the future. For example, research shows that the brain patterns of children with dyslexia change to regular brain patterns after proper, quality intervention. There are specific ways of teaching that can do that. For that you need someone experienced in the field.

amother

Iris

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 5:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have a relative who is your daughter's twin. She's now MUCH older, married with a bunch of kids - and bh she absolutely shines. She's a lovely caring devoted mother and wife. She needs a little more support - more cleaning help than the average, for example - but everyone loves her. She was always great socially and once school is in the past, she's doing amazing.

I think the main thing is that she feels good about herself. Figure out what she shines in so that she can build up her skills in that area. Concentrate on her strengths and try to downplay her weaknesses. Praise what she's good at and downplay what she's bad at. Tried and proven to work!

FranticFrummie

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 5:49 pm

I wrote about DD in the "Broken" thread.

I just got done texting with her. She told me she quit going to the University of Arizona online school, because "it was a joke". She's expected to correct her own papers! She's complaining that it's too easy, and she's not learning enough.

This is the same kid who used to tear up her homework, lay on the floor, and sob "I CAN'T!"

Now she's looking into community colleges, and wants to major in early childhood education.

amother

Orange

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't know your daughter so I wouldn't advise you but yes, I was eluding to that. if the day should come that her self esteem is suffering from constant failure. Again, I don't know your daughter and nobody knows the future. I hope iyh she will thrive in her school with the help you are getting for her, and that's a brachah too:)

amother

Phlox

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The post sem girl can be the homework helper for all your kids. That way your daughter won't feel singled out. It's very common in my community to have someone come do hw with a few kids in the family.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:56 pm

OP I have a daughter like yours, also in 2nd grade (we moved and held her back this year and she's still struggling), also doing well socially but terribly academically. She does have a formal diagnosis of Dyslexia among other things.

What keeps me going is that both me and my husband struggled in elementary school and BH turned out okay. I do struggle greatly with organization, not going to lie, but I have a Master's degree and my husband has a degree and a BH successful career.