How to respond when people say this

amother

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:46 pm

One of my children has an unusually beautiful/striking appearance. Too young to understand currently, but I get comments wherever we go. About how gorgeous or about the eyes etc. I'm grateful for this blessing, however I don't feel comfortable with the comments. Currently the child is too young to understand, but sometimes it's like among a group of other people and it's just unwanted attention. I am also thinking ahead to when the child is older and I do not want them to get infatuated.

What is a good appropriate response that sounds humble? For some reason when I say thank you, I feel strange since I do not deserve any credit for this... Baruch Hashem also seems like an awkward response. This is not such a big deal but I'm just wondering if anyone has any good lines to respond to these comments.

dena613

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:48 pm

Thank you, baruch Hashem

Thank you doesn't mean it's due to you (although it partially is, due to your genes!)
It's just a courteous response to any compliment

amother

Slategray

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:49 pm

IMO, joking responses like "thanks, we made him ourselves" come across as humble (though you might find it inappropriate).

Lovable

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:50 pm

dena613 wrote:

Thank you, baruch Hashem

Thank you doesn't mean it's due to you (although it partially is, due to your genes!)
It's just a courteous response to any compliment

I respectfully disagree
In this case, Thank you would not come across as humble.
I think 'Baruch Hashem' is a pareve response which would go

English3

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:51 pm

I would respond "oh she is my delicious pudding" But that is only for younger kids.
All my kids have striking blue eyes and I get a lot of comments many times I just smile and ignore usually just continue the conversation.

amother

Arcticblue

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:54 pm

Does every comment warrant a response? I once made the booboo to compliment a person's daughter on their gorgeous unusual hair. Instead of a thank you I got a "she's more than just her hair" comment. The response was out of line and bizarre to me. And, no, I never want to have anything to do with her even though we daven in same shul and kids go to same school. I wasn't some random stranger.

English3

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:55 pm

I am remembering when I was fifteen one of my friends told me that my mother's kids are so pretty and I was amazed. I never realized that we were good looking I guess I was used my family. I think not making much fuss is the way to go.

amother

Impatiens

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:56 pm

Agree with above.

Similar question, people often make such comments about one of my children in front of the others. How do you all recommend responding?
Bh all are beautiful, but one has clear green eyes that draw attention and many many comments.

amother

Peru

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 4:57 pm

Interesting... A few months ago I ran into an acquaintance at the park there with her kids who I'd never seen before. Her daughter was absolutely stunning, like I literally said wow! Out loud and then was kicking myself bci don't like to comment on people's looks... I said something like wow knh she's so beautiful and the mother said bh! All of our kids are!
Which made it clear to me that they hear it all the time, have similar concerns to yours and are very concerned about how the siblings feel about it. It was a pretty good line, I thought

amother

Impatiens

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 5:03 pm

amother [ Peru ] wrote:

I try to respond similarly but:..argh. I’m sure the other kids feel the burn. Not good for any of the kids to hear, including the complimented one!

amother

Papaya

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 5:04 pm

I can relate because I have a child like this, too. Strangers have been stopping us in the street since she was a week old. I always said "thank you" with a nice smile. No need to overthink it, when people pay a compliment it's just the right thing to thank them for the compliment.

amother

DarkMagenta

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 5:06 pm

I get these comments for my children too bli ayin hora, and I say to them. "Thank you, they should have beautiful mazal!" Or "Hashem created this beauty!"

English3

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 5:08 pm

My brother has stunning eyes, I don't think my mother was ever not stopped. I felt so proud that my brother is pretty.

fortunate123

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:16 pm

If you aren’t comfortable with a thank you for the compliment, how about smile and say “we are truly blessed”

amother

Ecru

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:19 pm

What about "a gift from Hashem", which is what it is.

And be careful around other kids, if around other kids maybe add "just like all of my beautiful children k'ah".

amother

Ecru

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:22 pm

dena613 wrote:

Thank you, baruch Hashem

Thank you doesn't mean it's due to you (although it partially is, due to your genes!)
It's just a courteous response to any compliment

That's still not her credit, that would also be a gift from Hashem, nothing we can take credit for Smile

amother

White

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 8:03 pm

I usually just smile, you can never go wrong with a smile.

Once I was pushing my double and someone said "your baby is beautiful! That one, not this one"

I think I was to confused to respond, but also felt bad for the lady who clearly has social issues.

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 8:21 pm

I have bh quite a few girls and only one boy. I think all my children are gorgeous, but for some reason, people are very taken by My son's looks. Even though he's so good looking, I really dislike when ppl comment on his looks. It's uncomfortable for me, for my son, and for my daughters too. I just say baruch hashem and move the conversation to the next topic.