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Cleaning Lady sent a text
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WhatFor




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 2:37 am
Choirmistress wrote:
All you posters have made good points. But forgive my proofreader's reflex if I mention that "going forward" is a terrible way of saying "in future". First of all, "going forward" deals with physical position, when what you want to express deals with time. Secondly, it is an informal, even colloquial, expression that has no place in formal prose. Please, please, everyone here, give "going forward" the well-deserved boot out of your vocabulary! My eyes, my ears, and my love of English will all thank you.


I haven't even commented on this thread yet but....

1- it's a phrase used in corporate business environments all the time

2- why would you be expecting any "formal prose" when you clicked on this site?

3- I happen to sometimes do a brief once-over before hitting submit, as a courtesy to the other readers on this site, just to ensure legibility. Not to ensure I'd get an A on an English assignment or to make sure that it's something that looks professional enough for a client. If you want that level of my English expertise, I'll be happy to bill you my hourly rate.
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Choirmistress




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 3:48 am
1. It shouldn't be; when businesses use it, it misteaches English to students; advertisers are among the worst offenders. 2. I wasn't saying that I expected formal prose, but most of the posters here have demonstrated at least a level of English far above slang. So I am really asking them to maintain that level. 3. You will have noticed that I have not asked anybody here for MY hourly proofreading rate! So, to all readers: You're welcome!
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WhatFor




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 4:11 am
Choirmistress wrote:
1. It shouldn't be; when businesses use it, it misteaches English to students; advertisers are among the worst offenders. 2. I wasn't saying that I expected formal prose, but most of the posters here have demonstrated at least a level of English far above slang. So I am really asking them to maintain that level. 3. You will have noticed that I have not asked anybody here for MY hourly proofreading rate! So, to all readers: You're welcome!


Clients aren't "students" and employers don't have an obligation to "teach" the general public a language. I was an honor student 4.0 English major in undergrad (only because my college didn't offer higher than 4.0 for A+s) and I don't care if posters "maintain a level... far above slang." It's a form of snobbery to join a community in which nonstandard English is acceptable and demand that members communicate only in standard English. In fact, to demand so demonstrates rigid thinking and a lack of understanding of the purpose of language. Standard English isn't inherently "better" than nonstandard English, even if it serves a purpose on certain platforms.

You haven't asked anyone for your hourly proofreading rate because wadr, as far as I can tell no one solicited your services in this capacity. You hijacked a thread to whine/joke about posters not responding with language that measured up to your "high standards".
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Zeleze




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 4:45 am
Good that she left you, other then you being the one to send her off

If you anyway was waiting for this to happen then be happy and move on

I haven"t had a cleaning lady since I got married, and for this reason only, could never send a person away
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life is fun




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 4:57 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I don't want her back.
I'm sure she is expecting me to beg her on my hands and knees to come back like I have in the past.


I wonder if she was expecting you to come begging on your hands and feet again to come back and getting a surprise now that you are not....
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 7:14 am
Choirmistress wrote:
All you posters have made good points. But forgive my proofreader's reflex if I mention that "going forward" is a terrible way of saying "in future". First of all, "going forward" deals with physical position, when what you want to express deals with time. Secondly, it is an informal, even colloquial, expression that has no place in formal prose. Please, please, everyone here, give "going forward" the well-deserved boot out of your vocabulary! My eyes, my ears, and my love of English will all thank you.


Thank you. I didn't know this.
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benny




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 8:18 am
I have the same cleaning lady 4 days a week for many years. I’m very flexible with her when she needs to take a day off- which actually happens often! Once every 3 weeks for sure. When I am away which isn’t I often, I do not pay her. I always offer her if she wants to work by a friend/neighbor and she never wants that, is happy to have the day off.
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amother




Anemone
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 8:25 am
heidi wrote:
Just bcz you are going on vacation doesn't mean your housekeeper doesn't need to eat and pay her rent.
Good for you to remember going forward.

Per diem part time workers do not get paid for non working days.
Mentchlikeit- nice if you do pay.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 8:37 am
benny wrote:
I have the same cleaning lady 4 days a week for many years. I’m very flexible with her when she needs to take a day off- which actually happens often! Once every 3 weeks for sure. When I am away which isn’t I often, I do not pay her. I always offer her if she wants to work by a friend/neighbor and she never wants that, is happy to have the day off.


Thank you.
I do think sometimes this expectation of loyalty goes only one way. In other words, some workers feel that they could take off without consequence, but if you need to take a day off- you need to pay them for their day off. I know it's not the same thing, but still.

My cleaning lady wrote that she always respects my days. But it has happened numerous times in the years she worked for me that she texted me an hour after she should have shown up to that she can't come.. or at times she simply did not show up, and texted after the fact that she had an appointment. On the other hand, aside from the 2 weeks of quarantine , I don't remember ever having cancelled on her. If I can't have her on one day, I give her another day in the week to make up for it. This time I will be away for half the week so it didn't make sense.

Her reaction was so extreme for someone with whom I had a working relationship for 13 years. She left my house on Friday with a fresh challa, fish and salad, seemingly very happy.

I think the first poster was correct- she was probably looking for an excuse to leave because she got a better paying job. I also think her husband is making her do this.
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Fab4




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 8:43 am
I'd text back this.

OK, thank you for all your help over the years. You'll be missed.

Something like that.
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meiravit




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 8:45 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm very nonconfrontational and it's very hard for me to be assertive. So I'm kind of happy this happened even if I am stuck now. Better to be stuck now than erev Pesach.

The only question is if I should respond to her text.


If you'renot the confrontational type, thank Hashem you got out of this, essentially dysfunctional, relationship and use your energy to find a new cleaning lady instead of analyzing your relationship with her.

Send her a polite text wishing her well and if she begs to come back, you'll dictate your terms and she'll decide if she wants to work for you. But this game playing is bad for both of you.

But I do want to add that some of it can be the language barrier, not to mention the culture barrier.


Last edited by meiravit on Sun, Oct 17 2021, 7:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 8:51 am
meiravit wrote:
If you're the confrontational type, thank Hashem you got out of this, essentially dysfunctional, relationship and use your energy to find a new cleaning lady instead of analyzing your relationship with her.

Send her a polite text wishing her well and if she begs to come back, you'll dictate your terms and she'll decide if she wants to work for you. But this game playing is bad for both of you.

But I do want to add that some of it can be the language barrier, not to mention the culture barrier.


You're 100% right.
I tend to look back and analyze things because , honestly, as happy as I am that she left of her own accord, it still feels somewhat shocking and like a betrayal.

But I get it, she is looking out for her own interests, and if she got a better job, she jumped for it.

So, onward. I am very grateful- for many reasons- that she left, especially at this particular point in the year.

As far as the language barrier goes, she has taken to calling and texting my Spanish friend whenever she needs to tell me something sticky.
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amother




Butterscotch
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 10:29 am
In OP's specific fact situation, it appears that neither the cleaning lady or OP felt that their work schedule was sacrosanct since OP states that cleaning lady would regularly cancel without even any notice. So the specific answer would be to text her back and say thank you for letting me know that you will no longer be coming to work. Good luck/ Very Happy

I don't have that experience with my cleaning lady. If for some reason she can't make it on a specific day, she will text me several days before and ask if she can come on Wednesday instead of Tuesday (for example). Similarly if for some reason I need to change a day (e.g. when the water in my building is shut off for example), I will ask if I can change days for that week.

If I don't need her services, I pay her - I paid her during the COVID pandemic before we were both fully vaccinated because I chose to not use her services. My friends who had long term reliable cleaners also pay when for some reason they need to cancel.

One alternative is to have your cleaning lady clean for someone else on that day as a "gift" to a person who might otherwise not be able to afford to hire a cleaner for themselves. That way she still has a reliable source of income.
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faigie




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 11:45 am
Honestly, I wouldn’t even answer. She gave you no notice.
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amother




Magenta
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 10:45 pm
You're 100% right.
I tend to look back and analyze things because , honestly, as happy as I am that she left of her own accord, it still feels somewhat shocking and like a betrayal.



So you feel betrayed because she left before you could kick her out? You should be happy you got rid of her.
Anyways it has been discussed here over and over how nobody wants to pay them more and then feel sad because they don't want to clean after you for a few peanuts an hour.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 11:35 pm
amother [ Magenta ] wrote:
You're 100% right.
I tend to look back and analyze things because , honestly, as happy as I am that she left of her own accord, it still feels somewhat shocking and like a betrayal.



So you feel betrayed because she left before you could kick her out? You should be happy you got rid of her.
Anyways it has been discussed here over and over how nobody wants to pay them more and then feel sad because they don't want to clean after you for a few peanuts an hour.


If you read what I wrote in my OP, I was wishing I could fire her but I knew I couldn't because I felt too loyal to her. I felt an achrayus to her. If I would have had no choice but to fire her, I would have given her 2 weeks pay so that she has something to tide her over until she finds another job. Many years ago I had to let another woman go, and that is what I did.

The betrayal is that she dropped me without warning, on Motzaei shabbos. She usually came to me on Sunday mornings, so literally a few hours before she was supposed to come. It's also a betrayal that she didn't feel any achrayus to me, her employer for 13 years to at least discuss this issue if it was bothering her. The way she went about it was absurd.

That's why I don't believe she really dropped me because of the missed day. She probably got offered another job that was better for her.

As an aside, I paid her the going rate, plus Ubers. Plus I often drove her home - a 20 minute drive.. If I didn't drive her home she would always ask me to drive her to the bus stop (a five minute walk from my house. My husband could never understand why I felt it necessary to drop everything in middle of supper to drive her to the bus stop. But I did it because she asked and I couldn't say no. )
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amother




Bergamot
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 11:43 pm
I’ve been cleaning my house myself since my cleaning left since I refuse to pay what they are asking.
No cleaning lady is getting paid peanuts! That much I can tell you!
There are hard working people in other countries who are earning the equivalent of $5 an hour. That’s peanuts. The women who come to us asking for work are not educated and therefore cannot bring in a high salary. Getting paid $15 an hour is definitely a decent salary.
What I’ve noticed since I’ve started doing my own cleaning- (and just for the record, I’m not so efficient and good at it!) is that it’s not hard. It’s not hard to mop a floor and vacuum. It’s not hard to clean a bathroom.. it might be gross but it’s not hard and wearing gloves protects against the grossness of it. It’s not hard to wash dishes and wipe down the counters. It’s not hard to take out the garbage. It’s not hard to sit and fold laundry. Imagine getting paid for that!
It can be very hard if I have to also work at another job. It’s very, very hard if my children are crying and need me. It’s hard to get things done if I also have to cook supper or shabbos.
When I hire someone, she’s coming without the pressure of caring for lots of little children and without the pressure of cooking meals. She is doing things that are actually not hard and she’s getting paid well too.
No one is forcing anyone to clean my home but if they do choose to apply for the position, one thing I’ve realized is that I am not giving anyone any job that is intensely difficult. Yes, a fair pay is what I think they should get but asking for a $5 an hour raise is just too much and not a fair amount for the job they do.
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rubyred




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 11:57 pm
It’s classic of many cleaning ladies, especially if they don’t work for you full time. Canceling/quitting last minute and making appointments for them or their kids when they are supposed to be working. It’s for sure partly cultural and also because they have zero experience in a formal “legal” work environment. They don’t understand professional courtesy. They will go anywhere for more pay. The amount many of them get is a lot if you think about it because they don’t pay taxes so if they are getting $15 an hour, it could be $20 pretax. I saw that you already answered her, and I agree with answering something short and saying thank you for your help over the years.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 11:59 pm
I have also started cleaning my house. Well its only been 2 days, but so far I'm loving it. It makes me feel more responsible because I'm not thinking "well I'll just leave the dishes in the sink since the cleaning lady is coming tomorrow..."

Don't misunderstand, I am a big believer in getting cleaning help and I plan to find another lady. But meanwhile I am relishing reclaiming my own house and laundry.
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amother




Seashell
 

Post Tue, Oct 19 2021, 12:12 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
If you read what I wrote in my OP, I was wishing I could fire her but I knew I couldn't because I felt too loyal to her. I felt an achrayus to her. If I would have had no choice but to fire her, I would have given her 2 weeks pay so that she has something to tide her over until she finds another job. Many years ago I had to let another woman go, and that is what I did.

The betrayal is that she dropped me without warning, on Motzaei shabbos. She usually came to me on Sunday mornings, so literally a few hours before she was supposed to come. It's also a betrayal that she didn't feel any achrayus to me, her employer for 13 years to at least discuss this issue if it was bothering her. The way she went about it was absurd.

That's why I don't believe she really dropped me because of the missed day. She probably got offered another job that was better for her.

As an aside, I paid her the going rate, plus Ubers. Plus I often drove her home - a 20 minute drive.. If I didn't drive her home she would always ask me to drive her to the bus stop (a five minute walk from my house. My husband could never understand why I felt it necessary to drop everything in middle of supper to drive her to the bus stop. But I did it because she asked and I couldn't say no. )


Maybe it was the going rate before but now the going rate went up.
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