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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah
We don't give gifts thread
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:02 pm
Let's have a thread for those of us who don't give gifts but instead do play Dreidel with the kids and other things.
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amother
Moonstone


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:04 pm
We were brought up that gifts are chukas hag0y and we don't give gifts either. We give chanuka gelt and do something special every day.
This new trend of the kids finding gifts every morning and decorating the outside of the house with lights and decorations, doesn't sit well with me. It doesn't come from a jewish source.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:05 pm
I love it. Dreidel, sufganiyot, latkes, chocolate gelt, music, lighting the chanukiya and then enjoying the candles Smile
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:08 pm
That's us. We give gelt. Eat lots of latkes and sufganiyot. We have parties and concerts and lots of fun. Singing by the menorah. No gifts necessary.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:13 pm
amother [ Moonstone ] wrote:
We were brought up that gifts are chukas hag0y and we don't give gifts either. We give chanuka gelt and do something special every day.
This new trend of the kids finding gifts every morning and decorating the outside of the house with lights and decorations, doesn't sit well with me. It doesn't come from a jewish source.

The decorating the outside of the house is strange to me. But I grew up with getting Chanuka gifts from both my adopted Chasidish grandparents and also from my non religious grandparents. My uncle would send us gifts and my parents bought us some tchotchkes too.
I believe the gift giving was cheaper at that time than giving actual gelt. My adopted grandparents had over 100 grandchildren and they gifted us all. They gave a quarter for Chanuka gelt plus a gift, like a game or lego etc.
I looked forward to it all year round.
Now , I buy my younger kids gifts, and give the older ones gelt.

And we do dreidel, milchigs, doughnuts and latkes. Each day we focus on something else. Though my DH insists on serving doughnuts for dessert every night.
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:18 pm
I gift the kids with my time does that count
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:19 pm
Chanukah gelt exclusively. The legal tender kind and the chocolate kind.
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amother
Moonstone


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:42 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
The decorating the outside of the house is strange to me. But I grew up with getting Chanuka gifts from both my adopted Chasidish grandparents and also from my non religious grandparents. My uncle would send us gifts and my parents bought us some tchotchkes too.
I believe the gift giving was cheaper at that time than giving actual gelt. My adopted grandparents had over 100 grandchildren and they gifted us all. They gave a quarter for Chanuka gelt plus a gift, like a game or lego etc.
I looked forward to it all year round.
Now , I buy my younger kids gifts, and give the older ones gelt.

And we do dreidel, milchigs, doughnuts and latkes. Each day we focus on something else. Though my DH insists on serving doughnuts for dessert every night.

I understand giving one gift on Chanuka.
But there's a new trend the past couple of years of the kids waking up to wrapped presents every day of chanuka, this doesn't sit well with me. It stems from kids finding gifts under the x-mas tree.
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:52 pm
amother [ Moonstone ] wrote:
...there's a new trend the past couple of years of the kids waking up to wrapped presents every day of chanuka, this doesn't sit well with me. It stems from kids finding gifts under the x-mas tree.

Never heard of this before today and I have a secular background.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:52 pm
Rubber Ducky wrote:
Never heard of this before today and I have a secular background.


Same
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:55 pm
My parents were the only ones in the community (that I know of) who actually heeded our rabbi's rants about how gift-giving was chukat hagoyim. Confused
So, not gifts for us and no gelt either cause it wasn't something they had grown up with I guess.
When our kids were little I davka did feel like giving them small gifts for chanukah, maybe in reaction to my own childhood 'deprivation'. Also, being here in Israel made it feel less like chikat hagoyim cause X-mas was nowhere on the radar.
One night it would be a toy each, one night chocolate gelt, one night really cool dreidels, one night fancy decorated sufganiyot. Another night a new book that we would read to them, one day we would maybe go to a movie or do something else special etc.
When they got older it all devolved into real gelt although DH still likes to buy the chocolate kind too and give it to them after candle lighting on the days that they are home with us.
And they still like getting it. Smile
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amother
Black


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:58 pm
We give gelt the 5th night of Chanuka. It's a minhag because it can never fall on Shabbos. Treats the other nights.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 3:23 pm
amother [ Moonstone ] wrote:
I understand giving one gift on Chanuka.
But there's a new trend the past couple of years of the kids waking up to wrapped presents every day of chanuka, this doesn't sit well with me. It stems from kids finding gifts under the x-mas tree.
In what community is this a trend? I have never heard of such a thing.
Thats really awful.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 3:25 pm
Another Chanukah gelt minhager here
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amother
Moonstone


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 3:26 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote:
In what community is this a trend? I have never heard of such a thing.
Thats really awful.


I live in NY.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 3:26 pm
amother [ Moonstone ] wrote:
I live in NY.
Huh? No, I meant MO, charedi etc.
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amother
DarkKhaki


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 3:27 pm
amother [ Moonstone ] wrote:
We were brought up that gifts are chukas hag0y and we don't give gifts either. We give chanuka gelt and do something special every day.
This new trend of the kids finding gifts every morning and decorating the outside of the house with lights and decorations, doesn't sit well with me. It doesn't come from a jewish source.


We do gifts every night. the way u wrote this is wrong. It’s after candle lighting while dh and I are both present, each kid gets something small. It’s far from “waking up every morning to wrapped gifts under the chanuka menorah”
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amother
Lemonchiffon


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 3:38 pm
Our chanukah looks something like this:

Day #1: homemade latkes and everyone sits around the menorah and we sing and dance
Day #2: we make a fire in the fireplace and play dreidel on the living room floor
Day #3: homemade sufganiyot making activity after supper
Day #4: one night we have a shul Chanukah mesiba, so that is the special activity
Day #5: they get Chanukah gelt from one set of grandparents
Shabbos Chanukah: other grandparents come for Shabbos and the older boys are home from yeshiva, so it's a special Shabbos.
Motzei Shabbos: family chanukah party/melave Malka with cousins. There are (inexpensive) prizes for games, but no gifts
You get the drift. The kids love it and do not at all feel deprived! We have never bought them presents from us.
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Snickers18




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 4:31 pm
*raises hand*
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amother
Moonstone


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 4:35 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote:
Huh? No, I meant MO, charedi etc.


I know some young chassidish families that do this. My neighbor does it as well, they're not chassidish.
I've also seen frum influencers posting on Instagram that they do this.
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