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If someone ships you a gift....
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:22 pm
Please call and thank them right away.

I recently sent an expensive baby gift to a sibling when first child was born. Thanks to modern day technology, I can track the shipping so I know exactly when it was delivered. When I don't get a phone call for several days I can't help but wonder, was the package stollen from in front of the house? Are you out of town and the box is sitting by your door getting rained on? Did you dislike the gift that it's unworthy of a thank you? Are you so busy in your life that you can't find 30 second to text a quick thank you? I felt really hurt when I had to contact my sibling several days later to make an inquiry. "Oh, yeah, sorry, it came late last night. (not according to UPS) So cute! Thanks!"

I also just shipped a housewarming gift since same sibling just bought first house. Spent a lot of time picking out something I thought was very nice. Was delivered (according to UPS notice) Wednesday morning before 8 AM. Still no call or text from them.

Gotta say, this really sucks the joy out of gifting to people you love.
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amother




Hawthorn
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:37 pm
Definitely. Hakaras hatov and so they know you got it!
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amother




Papayawhip
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:39 pm
OP, I 100% agree with you.
Just a warning, you are going to get a lot of hate.
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allthingsblue




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:40 pm
I agree with you!
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:40 pm
I agree with you but just as an FYI I want time had Amazon scan to me it said package delivered and I looked and never was delivered and I complained to them and they said oh yeah sometimes they scan the wrong item or whatever obviously if it happens more than once I would say hey people grow up say thank you but one time you can maybe be DLKZ

Apologize for formatting but voice to text
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amother




Phlox
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:41 pm
I agree with you. But are you sure they got it? Occasionally my delivery guy will put things by my back door which I never use. If I am expecting a package that says it was delivered I know to check there but if I don't know about the package it would be a long time before I found it.
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:45 pm
There was a post about this recently. People were saying that a new mom is toooo busy and overwhelmed to send a 2 second text. Apparently entitled people don’t think showing appreciation is important.
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allthingsblue




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:47 pm
amother [ Phlox ] wrote:
I agree with you. But are you sure they got it? Occasionally my delivery guy will put things by my back door which I never use. If I am expecting a package that says it was delivered I know to check there but if I don't know about the package it would be a long time before I found it.


That’s exactly what she’s saying. She doesn’t know if they got it, so they should let her know when they do! In this case they did get it and they let her know muuuuch later after she asked them about it.
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Della




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:50 pm
There was a thread about this recently. I don’t know if it’s a generational or age thing but I found most people on the “older side” expected and appreciated thank you notes and it seemed some new moms felt it was unnecessary and even a burden.
Personally for me as a child the rule was I was not allowed to deposit a check until I wrote a thank you note. I have three post Bar Mitzvah DS and they had the same rule. Same with weddings.
With texting available and so easy to do I truly don’t see what the big deal is to send a quick text “got the gift thanks so much”. Just my two cents
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amother




Smokey
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:57 pm
Certain personalities.... we should judge people favorably. Maybe she feels a thank you card will do when she gets around to it.
I, as the gift sender would've called or texted to ask if they received the item. Most would definitely respond with a thank you. One time it was dropped on the back porch and she needed to look for it until it was found. Once I ordered a houseware item for a friend who was hard at times from walmart. It was delivered on shabbos morning and stolen! Walmart was kind enough to send a replacement.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:59 pm
Della wrote:
There was a thread about this recently. I don’t know if it’s a generational or age thing but I found most people on the “older side” expected and appreciated thank you notes and it seemed some new moms felt it was unnecessary and even a burden.
Personally for me as a child the rule was I was not allowed to deposit a check until I wrote a thank you note. I have three post Bar Mitzvah DS and they had the same rule. Same with weddings.
With texting available and so easy to do I truly don’t see what the big deal is to send a quick text “got the gift thanks so much”. Just my two cents


I don't need a formal thank you note. Just acknowledgement. Quick phone call or text. I just want to know the package was received (as the delivery company states). If I handed them the gift, I wouldn't even need that. I'd KNOW they have it. (Which is not to say they can't shoot a quick text upon opening -- "Such a cute dress! Thank you!").

Also, this isn't like a wedding where it's understood that one must be patient because the couple has 200 thank you's to get to. And yes, we are all busy in our lives. Very busy. But seriously, a text takes seconds.
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Della




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:03 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I don't need a formal thank you note. Just acknowledgement. Quick phone call or text. I just want to know the package was received (as the delivery company states). If I handed them the gift, I wouldn't even need that. I'd KNOW they have it. (Which is not to say they can't shoot a quick text upon opening -- "Such a cute dress! Thank you!").

Also, this isn't like a wedding where it's understood that one must be patient because the couple has 200 thank you's to get to. And yes, we are all busy in our lives. Very busy. But seriously, a text takes seconds.


Yes I agree. A quick text “received the gift thanks so much” is perfect
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amother




Clear
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:04 pm
Yes!!
So funny, I was just remembering how I used to spend so much time and effort, let alone money, picking out and sending gifts to a family member - for her birthday, birth of children, chanukah gifts, children's birthday... Never even got an acknowledgement that it arrived. And always after a significant period of time when I would crack and inquire as to whether it arrived I would receive a flippant oh yeah it came, thanks!
I don't really go out of my way to get gifts for them anymore because it really didn't seem like it made an impression on them:) happens to be that they do receive a lot of gifts and things so I figured my smaller gifts were not important to them.
It's very hard not to get any feedback when you give a gift, so I feel you OP.
If I receive a gift I always make sure to text/call/email/voicenote and to follow up and to send pic using it etc
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:06 pm
ITA with all of the above, but then, y'all already know that this is one of my pet peeves.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:08 pm
It's not like your saying a really long time passed before they acknowledged it.

We are so used to instant repsonses in this day and age and we forget that people don't always have to be available the minute you want them to be.

If you don't personally deliver the gift expect some time until they let you know about it.

For all you know they might not be home when it was delivered or they don't always open their packages right away.

Did you let them know to expect a gift from you?

If you would say a gift was never acknowledge after a long time I would understand your frustrations.


Last edited by amother on Sat, Dec 18 2021, 10:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:15 pm
SafeAtLast wrote:
It's not like your saying a really long time passed before they acknowledged it.

We are so used to instant repsonses in this day and age and we forget that people don't always have to be available the minute you want them to be.

If you don't personally deliver the gift expect some time until they let you know about it.

For all you know they might not be home when it was delivered or they don't always open their packages right away.

Did you let them know to expect a gift from you?

If you would say a gift was never acknowledge after a long time I would understand your frustrations.


You're right. This is a modern problem/ attitude. If I sent to a 90 year old bubby, ok. But considering my brother and his wife are a decade younger than I, and far, far more tech savvy....

And yes, I told them to expect both gifts.
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:19 pm
OP, maybe they did get it late last night. I've had numerous times that a package showed up when tracked as delivered and it arrived afew days later. As for the other gift, it just arrived 2 days ago. I don't think you should expect an instant thank you, give it afew days. Maybe they're planning to make all their thank you calls at once after they've settled in.
When I had a baby, I got 2 gifts delivered and I had no idea who sent the gifts. There was no note or card added. I posted on my status for afew days asking whoever it is should let me know, but I guess it's someone that doesn't have whatsapp because I never found out who it is from. I hope they're not insulted and waiting for a thank you.
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amother




Oxfordblue
 

Post Sat, Nov 20 2021, 2:14 pm
OP, I am with you on this 100000% - so much worry could be averted this way!

I gifted someone who I knew would respond immediately, and it was only because they didn't that I discovered I'd sent it to their old address! And someone else didn't respond because the gift message to say it was from us was omitted so they had no idea who sent it....
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amother




Dill
 

Post Sat, Nov 20 2021, 6:14 pm
You can definitely check in. Post baby my husband often brings in the packages and I don't notice them for a few days 🤦‍♀️ or worse, he opens them and puts them away without noting it was a gift/who it was from since there are so many online orders coming in for baby supplies.

And when we moved it was 10x worse with boxes EVERYWHERE! I totally didn't find boxes till a week or two after they were delivered.

If someone tells me they sent a gift I know to look out for it.
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amother




Amber
 

Post Sat, Nov 20 2021, 7:03 pm
I recently had a baby and someone shipped a gift.
I vaguely remembered seeing a package, and thinking "nice" before I got distracted by being a new mom, and promptly forgot about it.
A few days later, I asked dh about it because I couldn't find it, so I asked if he saw a package, he said no. I didn't have too much time to dwell on it, because again, baby screaming+ exhaustion = not a. Lot of focus. Some time later I found it (maybe the next day?) And opened it and wanted to send a thank you and either later or the next day got a message asking if I rcvd it.
I'm not defending myself. Just explaining in detail what could be behind the new mom explanations.
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