Therapist for chasidish 17 yr old girl Rockland county

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 12:26 pm

Any recommendations?

I'm looking for a therapist to help my daughter process her feelings

she is lately very irritable and has expressed unhappiness with me/my way of running our home

all ideas appreciated

amother

Sienna

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 12:34 pm

Would you maybe consider therapy for yourself?

Last edited by amother on Sat, Dec 18 2021, 7:22 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 12:46 pm

yes I would

but I also want her to go to a therapist-

amother

Sienna

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 1:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

yes I would

but I also want her to go to a therapist-

A therapist might help you guide your relationship with her and advise if she needs one or if this is something you can work on as the mother.

Last edited by amother on Sat, Dec 18 2021, 7:21 pm; edited 1 time in total

Tirza

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:05 pm

Please send her to a female therapist.
I know that this is unfair to all the honest, wonderful male therapists out there. But with so many incidences of trusted male therapists and mentors secretly abusing young girls, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

amother

Iris

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:08 pm

Maybe consult with someone first to see whether she needs the therapy.

amother

Oatmeal

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:15 pm

Try [name removed by request] She may work at Birkur Cholim.

amother

Currant

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:17 pm

Unless you're holding more info back, it sounds to me like she's perfectly normal.

She's becoming an adult, with her own thoughts, opinions, and feelings.

amother

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:49 pm

I'm holding back
that we're financially tight in money
that my parents were mix of narcisstic/codependant
that my husbands parents - one is borderline personality the other is absent
that though we tried our pasts haunt us

So even she is normal I'd rather have her cope with her demons now

amother

Sienna

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:58 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That sounds like a plan.
Does she want to go?

Last edited by amother on Sat, Dec 18 2021, 7:17 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Ecru

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 4:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

This sounds like very typical teenage attitude/ behavior. You can send her to a therapist if you want. But just throwing this out as an FYI -- When my parents sent me to therapy as a teen for typical teen behavior the therapist determined I didn't need therapy. My parents insisted. So therapist spend sessions giving me coping skills for dealing with my difficult parents. Not saying this will be your situation. Obviously you didn't give details. But just letting you know normal teen behaviors don't require therapy. Just something to navigate through with love and compassion.

cnc

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 6:19 pm

Tirza wrote:

Many honest ,responsible, wonderful, male therapists would not take a 17 year old girl as a client .

amother

Daisy

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 6:34 pm

Do some research on Gelly Asovsky. I’ve heard good things

amother

Poinsettia

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 6:59 pm

amother [ Daisy ] wrote:

Do some research on Gelly Asovsky. I’ve heard good things

I use gelly. She is amazing

amother

Fern

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 7:22 pm

[name removed by request] is amazing. Private practice not at Bikur cholim.

amother

Feverfew

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 7:55 pm

Refuah health has some good therapists and they take insurance. It only is applicable if your child is a patient there and obviously the insurance will only pay if it is determined the therapy is necessary but for us it was and it is huge to be able to get a good therapist without breaking the bank. (My daughter is 17 as well)

amother

Ghostwhite

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 8:10 pm

Try Gitty Katz, amazing amazing!
845-367-1286

FranticFrummie

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 8:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm confused. So her grandparents on both sides have issues. Nu? What makes you think your DD has "demons"? From where I'm sitting, it sounds like you are projecting a lot onto her, based on your own past experiences.

The last I checked, having an opinion on something doesn't mean you have demons. It means that you are becoming a rational adult, and can think things out for yourself. Your "teen" is probably going to be getting married in a few short years. I hope she can reason things out independently by then, instead of worrying about what you will think.

Encourage her to ask questions, and then sit down and talk to her the way you would talk to anyone who you respect. That's all most older teens want from their parents. That doesn't mean that you are guaranteed that she will always agree with you 100% of the time.

Do you want to be "right", or do you want a relationship with your DD that is based on open dialog? She needs that dialog with you, not a therapist.

amother

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 10:01 am

ok.
so I didn't communicate this well
let me try again

my concerns about my daughter are

she gets extremely irritable when facing any decision - she is very indecisive
even if me and husband tried separately sorting it through she just walks off in the
middle of convo and says forget forget it I hate to think I hate to decide

she snaps at her siblings instead of having civil convos

she blows her tops at a whim

she has a very low self-esteem

much as she tried she cannot get herself to stick to a diet and then she hates her body image and lack of clothing choices

amother

Ecru

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 10:31 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Nutritionist might be more helpful than a therapist.

But for either option I would ask her IF SHE WOULD LIKE to go before proceeding.

None of the behaviors you mention are alarming and require immediate intervention whether she likes it or not.

Not knocking your concern. We are mothers. We worry. We want the best. But none of this seems to me outside of what most of us go through with our teens.

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