Rebbe wont speak to me about child's progress

amother

Lemonchiffon

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 4:10 am

this is not your child but students with whom you work?
And your hashkafa is not in line with the schools?
You need to work within the limitations of the school and their rules so figure out a solution within the parameters within which you are working.
principal
fathers
mutual respect opens doors
good luck

acemom

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 7:16 am

amother [ Lemonchiffon ] wrote:

I doubt it is against hashkafa of anyone to speak to mothers about their child's progress.
This melamed has an issue speaking to women in general so it is a personal issue.

If the melamed is uncomfortable discussing a student with a therapist, at least he should cooperate through a questionnaire or via the mother.

I'd think taking a job as a teacher should come with the understanding that you'd need to communicate with parents.

amother

Milk

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 7:21 am

acemom wrote:

My childrens rebbes would not fill out questionaires, never no way. But they do speak to mothers. I have called many times.
I don't understand why OP is involved in this cheder at all or why she would need to speak to a child's melamid. It sounds like she is not a match for the place hashkafically and probably has a completely different mindset than the cheder, administration, melamdim, and parents.
The children who needed some therapy in my childern's cheder had a chassidishe man come to make the therapy. Something is very strange here with the OP's setup.
And if OP must for some reason know whats going on, she should speak to the parents and then the parents, mother or father, can call the rebbes.

SixOfWands

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 7:54 am

amother [ Milk ] wrote:

OP's job is to help students. It appears that the parents are on board with her doing this work. We have no reason to believe that the school as a whole, including the administration, is not on board.

What we have is one rebbe who is blocking her ability to help children who need her help.

No, parents don't have the same understanding of what is going on in the classroom as the rebbe does. They don't see and experience the interactions and interplay. And its absurd to play a game of telephone, where everything is filtered through levels, losing nuance, losing back and forth. For what? So he can get a gold star in obstructionism, at the cost the well being of a child?

OP, you need to speak to the administration. Let them know that your ability to help these children is being hamstrung.

amother

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 10:46 am

amother [ Milk ] wrote:

your post is so interesting
of course as a therapist I need to speak to the rebbe to see how my boys are doing when it comes to classroom performance.
have any of your children received speech before? it doesnt seem like you understand the nuances of my field

there are no male speech therapists in my school.

amother

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 10:48 am

amother [ Freesia ] wrote:

Op, I’ve worked in such Mosdos as a therapist. The Melamed is wrong, but you can’t fight city hall. Just work with your client to the best of your ability. If the parents are bothered, let them raise a ruckus.

yeah I think it is what it is

amother

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 10:49 am

amother [ Lemonchiffon ] wrote:

I am not chassidish I am litvish and I work in a chassidish school as a speech therapist.

amother

Butterscotch

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 11:14 am

I'll chime in here. Fellow speech therapist, and I have some students in a chassidish boys school. I'm chassidish myself, so I'm more familiar with the culture.

I will echo what others said - your best bet is the Menahel. I'm in touch with him (as well as the remedial dept guy - do they have that at your school?) and these two are great with communication. Will get me whatever info I need, although I try not to bother too much, only for whatever's important. Remember that you're a guest there, and chassidish men are not super eager to schmooze with women. I wouldn't speak to the Rebbe directly (Menahel or parents are the route to go here). Some principals are better than other in terms of communicating...

amother

Milk

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 11:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Maybe my post gives you some perspective then.
More than one of my boys have needed speech for different reasons. I paid privately though and it's not associated with the cheder. I took the children to the therapist and the cheder wasn't even aware of it. There was nothing that needed to be communicated to the rebbes, except one small thing which I was able to explain myself. I also received speech myself.

It sounds to me like it is a mindset difference. Like I said, even in the most farfrumte cheder, rebbes speak to the mother. Is there a reason why you can't speak to the child's mother?

amother

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 12:29 pm

amother [ Milk ] wrote:

as someone mentioned earlier, a mother is not inside the classroom. they do not see how their sons are doing when it comes to class work.

like I repeated numerous times, I am not looking to upset his gedarim or sensitivities. it is what it is. ill do my best with the information I have.

and I worked in a different chassidish school and the rebbeim had no problem speaking to me.I wasnt asking them what they are having for supper, I asked very specific questions that I needed to know for therapy.

I just think its the rebbe.

amother

Fri, Dec 31 2021, 12:31 pm

amother [ Butterscotch ] wrote:

the menahel also does not believe in therapy and just tolerates our presence in the school.

some of my other rebbeim on my caseload are more forthcoming with information and very much want to help their talmidim.

amother

Daisy

Mon, Jan 03 2022, 1:25 am

I'll echo what others are saying. My brothers are in an ultra chassidish cheder, probably as frum as they go, and my mother speaks to their rebbes, principals, and male therapists all the time. She even speaks to my brothers maggid shiur and rosh yeshiva once they hit yeshiva age! Must be this specific rebbe...