Do you think of your work place as “family”? | Imamother

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Do you think of your work place as “family”?

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Forum -> Working Women

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amother

OP

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 9:55 am

I don’t. They’re all lovely people, but I think of it as a job and nothing more.

13

lfab

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 9:58 am

Same. I get along with everyone at work and am even friends with my immediate coworkers. But the reality is if I stopped working there I'd lose touch with them within a short time. Part of that is probably since most of my co-workers aren't Jewish so we probably wouldn't keep up a relationship outside of work. But even the few other Frum women who work there, I don't think we'd stay friends if we didn't see each other all the time.

6

amother

Hunter

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 10:10 am

I did, and that made it very hard for me to leave when I needed to. I ended up leaving, but it was way more difficult than it should’ve been, and probably took me an extra 6 months+.
I’m being careful this time not to get too attached again.

4

amother

Acacia

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 10:11 am

Nope. I once worked somewhere and thought of many of the coworkers in a warm fuzzy way. Frum company. Then the organization burned me. Instead of accepting me for a position I was well qualified for and had shown I can do (and had done for them, had great reviews from clients, I was efficient and effective) they took someone else who had never worked for them, has fewer qualifications, less experience and shown no real affinity for the organization prior to applying. Trying to be very vague here so dont try to figure out the organization/company.

I dont help out at that organization anymore. I dont promote it when they do their fundraising. My current job is just a job. They dont treat staff as family or care what happens beyond their walls. So work is work. I would rather the family setting but I know it is rare and it can be fake.

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4

causemommysaid

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 10:11 am

Nope.

Family is family
Friends are friends
Coworkers are coworkers

I try not to mix them together.

9

shmosmom

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 10:12 am

causemommysaid wrote:

Nope.

Family is family
Friends are friends
Coworkers are coworkers

I try not to mix them together.

This. Friendliness but healthy boundaries.

7

amother

Babypink

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 10:38 am

causemommysaid wrote:

Nope.

Family is family
Friends are friends
Coworkers are coworkers

I try not to mix them together.

I generally agree. I wouldn't want to work with my friends or family, even though I love them. I prefer some distance at work.

DH's business partner, however, is his sister. And they work very well together. So different strokes for different folks I guess.

4

hodeez

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 10:40 am

Go to work, get paid, come home to your family.

6

amother

Black

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 11:12 am

As a friend once said, if a recruiter says the work place is "like a family" ask them if they mean the Adams Family or Ozzie and Harriet. LOL

LOL

Be very careful about confusing work with family or even close friends because you need to have a line of separation. It is too easy to relax and let co-workers know too much personal detail about your life.

I have had very warm relationships with co-workers and some of them remained friends after I left. However, I generally did not truly become "intimate" friends until after I left.

Also even good "friends" might not support you when push comes to shove because they have their own interests to protect. I also learned this lesson because they aren't going to jeopardize their careers.

7

watergirl

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 11:21 am

Ewww. No. Never. Friendly, not family. Not friends.

1

amother

Salmon

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 11:45 am

Yes. A dysfunctional family.

13

amother

Mimosa

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 12:03 pm

There’s different levels. I would never make the mistake of thinking of co-workers like family. But I think I’d be open to developing a real friendship with a Frum co-worker. None of this applies to me because none of my co-workers are Frum.

singleagain

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 12:37 pm

If you're work is like family it's considered toxic

1

happyone

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 3:20 pm

Sorry. I disagree. I love my job and refer to them as my extended family.
We have each other's back.
We argue like family.
We respect like family.
And my clientele I work with are truly a part of me and I considor them family.

6

Sunsong

Fri, Jan 14 2022, 4:38 pm

No, because only family gets to use my skills and expertise for free.

That said, I really do like my job and co-workers. And a number are becoming friends. But at the end of the day, it's a job.

1

heidi

Sat, Jan 15 2022, 12:20 pm

My old workplace was. My smachot were not complete without my work friends. Unfortunately my new work place is not at all. I miss the family environment terribly

2

amother

Lavender

Sat, Jan 15 2022, 12:30 pm

Job #1 I was the office manager for a frum business owner who had 2 or 3 employees who worked off site (think construction related business).
I left 23 years ago when I graduated college and got a full time job in my field. I am still very close with the boss and his entire family.

Job #2 totally non Jewish corporate job. Left 16 years ago and still visit when I'm in that city, and still in touch with many former colleagues.

Family? Not quite sure about that but very close friends, for sure.

Elfrida

Sat, Jan 15 2022, 12:36 pm

My friend was headhunted by a big company just after she finished her doctorate. They were trying to tell her what a wonderful working environment it was, and how they had child care on the premises, and all joined in each others simchas, and how it was just like one big family.

She was married with four children, and told them, 'I already have a family. I'm looking for a job.' She got an excellent job with their rivals!

2

amother

Lemonchiffon

Sat, Jan 15 2022, 2:00 pm

Yes, kind of a lot.
I work in a small school and it's a really friendly environment. When I took off recently for a bereavement in my family, my co workers sent stuff in, called me, made shabbos, the principal called my dh etc
Iyh when I make a simcha my co workers will be amongst the first I'll invite!!

2

amother

Offwhite

Sat, Jan 15 2022, 7:02 pm

amother [ Lemonchiffon ] wrote:

Yes, kind of a lot.
I work in a small school and it's a really friendly environment. When I took off recently for a bereavement in my family, my co workers sent stuff in, called me, made shabbos, the principal called my dh etc
Iyh when I make a simcha my co workers will be amongst the first I'll invite!!

Exactly my situation down to the bereavement story . When one of the bosses left we all felt abandoned . And she kept in touch with no one. Felt terrible.

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