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amother
Navy
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 Wed, Jan 19 2022, 1:36 pm
| paperflowers wrote: | My problem with the mirror at the mikvah is that it gets all fogged up by the time I need to use it.
As for the clothing store dressing rooms, I completely agree with OP, |
It’s easy enough to wipe it clean with a towel….
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amother
Melon
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 2:04 pm
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yes!! omg it bothers me so much too!! I was in a maternity store like that and I mentioned something to the salesgirl and she said they used to have and they are getting but I guess they never did if it’s the same store. I also didn’t want to buy cuz I wanted to see first and felt like an idiot coming out of the room when I didn’t feel so comfy in the dress and didn’t know how I looked. I rem feeling very overwhelmed and anxious and being so annoyed. say something to the salesgirl. the more they hear it maybe they will add mirrors. it’s beyond ridiculous
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amother
Cherry
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 2:14 pm
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Completely agree with op. Stores take advantage of their customers to the extent they can. They're in business to maximize profits not to make us happy. Mirrors cost money. If they can get away with one mirror outside the dressing rooms that's cheaper. What's even worse are the stores that can't be bothered to have the decency to make private dressing rooms and have us all crowded like cattle into one dressing room to stand on top of each other while we're getting dressed and undressed. Those stores are busy and everyone walks out with huge bundles of clothes so why should they care. Yuck.
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amother
Oatmeal
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 2:19 pm
Sorry, I meant large glass mirrors where you could actually see yourself as opposed to bits of reflective metal. I should have been clearer.
In any case, women certainly did not use mirrors to get ready for mikvah. And I think it was a kosher tevilah .
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amother
Silver
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 2:22 pm
| amother [ Tangerine ] wrote: | | I agree, but I thought they do it so that you don't spend so much time in there. If you had to go out to look at the mirror and people are waiting, you're going to go faster than if you looked inside the dressing room. |
I find the process much, much faster with a mirror inside the dressing room. If you have to go out, you must be completely clothed, head covering etc every single time but if you stay in the dressing room you can often just try on the one piece and realize quickly it’s not for you and move on to the next
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amother
Carnation
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 2:44 pm
| amother [ Tangerine ] wrote: | | I agree, but I thought they do it so that you don't spend so much time in there. If you had to go out to look at the mirror and people are waiting, you're going to go faster than if you looked inside the dressing room. |
This plus also they're being cheap. Costs less to put 1 outside instead of 1 in each cubicle.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 2:47 pm
| amother [ Vermilion ] wrote: | It's not about compliance.
I'm not shy, gyn visits don't bother me, bedikas to a rav don't bother me, if I wanted to go, a bodekes wouldn't bother me.
This is about giving up YOUR mitzvah, and changing mesorah. A woman has obligations. She's supposed to make a herself tahara, count seven days with bedikas, and then cleanse and check her body, then she's supposed to fully dip in a mikva. The checking is literally an explicit part of the mitzva entrusted to me. I'm given full ne'emanus by halacha in this (as in, no one, including my husband for whom this is chiyuvai kares, is allowed to question me when I say I've been toivel k'halacha). Why would I hand that authority to someone else??
(Mil is a ml. She rants about the young generation not wanting to be checked because they have no yiras shamayim. I used to buy that until I looked into it. No man has his tefillin placement checked daily by the rav, none of us as a rav to count six hours for us after we eat meat, none of us check the bracha of a sandwich with a rav each time we eat...halacha and Torah was given to us.) |
No yirat shamayim? I doubt. Sounds more like extremely distorted body shaming.
I have read Rabbi Falks book so many times. I can't recall anything negative about mirrors. He says there should be mirrors so a woman can and should check her appearance before going out.
I'm chocked so many on this forum are so obsessed that nobody will see them going to the mikva, mikvas that you are assured you never meet anybody on your way in and out, asking the mikva lady to turn around while you enter the water etc etc.
IMHO it is not tzniout. It's the yetzer hara dressed up as tzniout trying to tell you your body is shameful so you must be *bad*.
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Ema of 5
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 2:52 pm
| Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | No yirat shamayim? I doubt. Sounds more like extremely distorted body shaming.
I have read Rabbi Falks book so many times. I can't recall anything negative about mirrors. He says there should be mirrors so a woman can and should check her appearance before going out.
I'm chocked so many on this forum are so obsessed that nobody will see them going to the mikva, mikvas that you are assured you never meet anybody on your way in and out, asking the mikva lady to turn around while you enter the water etc etc.
IMHO it is not tzniout. It's the yetzer hara dressed up as tzniout trying to tell you your body is shameful so you must be *bad*. |
I agree not having the Mikvah lady check you is not about yiras shamayim, but how can you say that not wanting to be completely naked in front of her is not about tznius? Even when I liked the way my body looked, I didn’t think it was appropriate for her to see me completely naked.
Last edited by Ema of 5 on Wed, Jan 19 2022, 2:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Gray
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 2:54 pm
| paperflowers wrote: | My problem with the mirror at the mikvah is that it gets all fogged up by the time I need to use it.
As for the clothing store dressing rooms, I completely agree with OP, |
Wipe the mirror with rubbing alchohol. Most rooms have.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:01 pm
| Ema of 4 wrote: | | I agree not having the Mikvah lady check you is not about yiras Shamah I’m, but how can you clash that not wanting to be completely naked in front of her is not about tznius? Even when I liked the way my body looked, I didn’t think it was appropriate for her to see me completely naked. |
Kind of agree with you. But I'm pretty laid back.
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Ema of 5
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:05 pm
| Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | | Kind of agree with you. But I'm pretty laid back. |
But above you just said it’s NOT tznius, and it’s actually the yetzer hara, telling a woman that her body is shameful.
What does being laid back have to do with anything? I’m laid back to, but that doesn’t mean I need (or want!) to put my body on display for ona and all to see. I limit the number of people in my room when I am delivering as well- I don’t want students, and I don’t want any unnecessary people in there at all. I am not an exhibit at the zoo, I am a human being who doesn’t need to be on full display.
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shabbatiscoming
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:14 pm
| amother [ DarkGreen ] wrote: | Anon because this is specific to me.
I manage a mikvah. We were told to remove the full length mirrors from the prep rooms (and only have ones to check your face) because many women felt it was not tzanuah to have to be that close to a full length mirror and see themselves naked with no where else to look. Which is all sorts of messed up but whatever. | So they cant look at THEMSELVES in the mirror but the mikvah lady is going to be looking at them, and that IS ok? Thats all kinds of messed up.
Also, do these women never look at themselves completely naked at home? Again, that is all kinds of messed up.
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pause
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:14 pm
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I always thought it's because the fitting rooms are tiny and you can't accurately see yourself in a mirror from so close up. They want you to come out and see yourself from a bit of a distance so you can see what you really look like. Which leads us to the next question: Why are the fitting rooms so tiny? Especially in maternity stores. Just taking off a sweater has my elbows knocking into the sides of the cubicle, and I'm your average-to-thin woman.
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amother
Watermelon
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:22 pm
| Ema of 4 wrote: | | I’ll be 40 on my next birthday….am I older or younger generation? |
Older. How many more years do you think you'll be using the mikvah?
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amother
Rose
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:27 pm
| amother [ Watermelon ] wrote: | | Older. How many more years do you think you'll be using the mikvah? |
O. M. G.
Did someone really just write that?
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amother
DarkGreen
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:31 pm
| amother [ Watermelon ] wrote: | | Older. How many more years do you think you'll be using the mikvah? |
OK sorry, what? Women use the mikvah for a long time for various reasons. One rebbitzen had a late menopause issue (I cant remember the name) and was in her 60s and still used the mikvah. She insisted on going the normal time and had no issue with being seen because she wanted to smash the stigma (and she is chassidish and totally my role model).
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amother
Watermelon
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:33 pm
| amother [ Rose ] wrote: | O. M. G.
Did someone really just write that? |
Is it that bad to be from the older generation that uses the mikvah?
Most people over 50 don't use the mikvah anymore.
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amother
Watermelon
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:33 pm
| amother [ DarkGreen ] wrote: | | OK sorry, what? Women use the mikvah for a long time for various reasons. One rebbitzen had a late menopause issue (I cant remember the name) and was in her 60s and still used the mikvah. She insisted on going the normal time and had no issue with being seen because she wanted to smash the stigma (and she is chassidish and totally my role model). |
Seems like it was the exception and not the norm. No?
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shabbatiscoming
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:35 pm
| amother [ Watermelon ] wrote: | | Older. How many more years do you think you'll be using the mikvah? | Huh? Menopause does not actually usually happen near 40.
Are you from the younger generation? Women can be going to the mikvah more MANY more years after the age of 40. 
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amother
DarkGreen
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 3:35 pm
| amother [ Watermelon ] wrote: | | Seems like it was the exception and not the norm. No? |
Yes obviously her age was an exception but we still had women in their mid-50s going regularly. Also, I believe that question was addressed to me and I hope no one confused me with you.
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