My son doesn't eat - help!

smiley:)

Mon, May 05 2008, 7:02 am

Ok he is nearly a preschooler - will be 3 in the summer. I have written about this before. He barely eats. Sometimes I blame myself because I dont have a lot of food in the house. But for shabbat dinner I could have 5 dishes on the table that he has never eaten before and he wont try it. This morning I gave him cereal (that he requested) for breakfast, didnt eat it. I gave him matza with cinnamon and sugar (he requested), didnt eat it. I gave him french toast (he requested) didnt eat it. Didnt give him his 4th request anymore. An hour later he moaned and groaned he was hungry. I told him he had a time to eat. An hour after that I offered lunch. Didnt want. I could go for blood tests and see what the deal is but the fact is that he isnt gaining weight bc he is not eating. He has plenty of energy etc.
Now I am worried in general about his not eating but now it is more specific. He was sick since Friday and is LITERALLY not eating now. Before he ate very little.... It is now 5 pm here and he ate 4 cinnamon squares for breakfast (like the size of your fingernail) and 2 corn chips. I even took him to the supermarket and offered him chocolate (bad idea, I know. but I am willing to do anything to get him to eat). He didnt want. I am ready to tear my hair out. I let him have a long nap today bc he still isnt totally feeling better. He slept 3 hrs and woke up crying. I offered him food. He says he is tired....
HELP!!!!! I feel like I am starving him!!!

smiley:)

Mon, May 05 2008, 7:45 am

GR wrote:

Yogurt? banana? cheese? french fries? grapes? ketchup? scrambled eggs?
He won't eat anything?

Wont touch yogurt, licks the banana once and decides against it. Wont touch cheese. If we are lucky he will eat 5 french fries - that's a really lucky day. No to grapes, wont touch ketchup or scrambled eggs. I have tried and tried to understand what he likes. He likes nothing.
For a while he'd eat some bready type things. No longer...

Mimisinger

Mon, May 05 2008, 7:52 am

What about ice cream? Almost all kids love ice cream. You can make it yourself with different fruits. Or fruit pops. Is he drinking? At least getting some calories in him. My old roommate was a nutritionist who would work with kids who didn't eat. Most had issues physiologically so they couldn't or they were premies and didn't learn.

It's very impt. you see a nutritionist who is skilled in this. My roomie would make food with the mothers - make pancakes with cream and a lot of oil because every bite counts.

One of her patients died. This is very serious. He needs help.

smiley:)

Mon, May 05 2008, 7:58 am

Ice cream it depends on the flavor. Some he wont touch, some he will eat a few bites (which is really something!)
He drinks minimally. But usually he will only take water.
My son was not a premie and doesnt have any physical problems that are apparent. Seeing a nutritionist wont help... they can tell me what to or not to give him but the fact is he wont eat it anyway.
I have tried pancakes, today I made french toast. He licked it and walked away. Just now he asked for the dinner I made last night - had noodles, tuna, veggies. I put out a plate of it. He ate precisely a noodle and a half and walked away.

Mimisinger

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:01 am

There are nutritionists who deal with this specifically. He IS starving. One noodle is not eating. Get help. Go to your son's doctor now.

They have methods of getting kids to eat. For example, what if you brought him into the food making process? Other ideas like that. You must do something. He is not getting enough calories. Chas v'shalom something happens. Please do something.

Tamiri

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:02 am

I am wondering: will he eat at someone else's house? Like if you take him over to a friend and the friend is eating pasta or something?
Will he eat if you are not around? Like if Abba is home with him for a few hours without you being there, will he still not eat?

madys

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:03 am

How about kid friendly foods , like grilled cheese, fish sticks, chicken nuggets, tater tots -

my 4 year old is also extremely picky and will eat only the above...he has eaten chicken nuggets for breakfast, lunch and dinner - I figure, at least it's protien!!

Tamiri

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:07 am

I disagree with giving junk food to a starving child "just to get him to eat". If he as an eating problem, you sure as heck don't want to make it worse by feeding overly processed, high sodium and fat and low nutrition food. You need to solve the eating problem and then get him nourishment.

Mimisinger

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:10 am

There's a difference between a picky child and a starving child. For ex. my nephew doesn't really eat. He has to be reminded to eat and will take a juice box and chicken nuggets and fries and pb and j. I think partly it's because that's the kind of kid he is (his uncle is like that) and partly because his mother doesn't cook healthy food.

On the other hand, a starving child needs to get all the calories he can because each bite counts. My roomie used to have the mothers put oil into the kids yogurt to up the calorie count. But this of course was with lit. starving children.

smiley:)

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:16 am

So what happens if a nutritionist can get him to eat in her place but he wont eat at home?
The dr situation here is different than in America. Many ppl, ourselves included dont have a real relationship with the dr and honestly I dont put a lot of trust in the drs in our area.

I have tried to make food with him. At best he is still uninterested to eat it. At worst he is repulsed to eat it (ie chicken) because he didnt like what it looked like while making it.

I am not often at other ppl's houses. Sometimes though he eats SOMETHING. He used to eat better outside. Not so much anymore.He doesnt get encouraged to eat just bc someone else is, and moreso if someone tells him how good something tastes, or tries to convince him you could be sure he wont taste it. Yea, it doesnt have to do with me being around. He does try to turn it into a power struggle as he does with most anything but I learned to not react. He barely has eaten a thing since Thur now, I barely commented other than to ask if he wants something, and it continues,

madys- some of the foods you mentioned they dont have here. But he used to eat chicken nuggets. No longer. Wont touch grilled cheese (or any cheese). I would be happy if there was ANYTHING I knew he'd eat....

smiley:)

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:19 am

Tamiri wrote:

You are right. my point though is he still isn't interested!!

Putting oil in yogurt is "great" - if the kid eats yogurt! You'd have a grand ole time trying to get it down his throat! He wont eat an egg, he wont eat yogurt.
If his problem was being addicted to junk, he'd be eating junk, no?? He doesnt even eat that!!

Tamiri

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:33 am

In a previous post, Smiley, I said "don't worry". If, in fact, he truly is eating nothing, then I would seek outside help. A normal child will not starve himself, contrary to Jewish mothers' belief. If he's not eating all day and not sneaking nutrition at night - get help.

Tamiri

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:35 am

Quickie example of "normal". I asked my 3 yo if he wants cucumbers. No. I sliced them up with carrots and left them on the kitchen table and busied myself elsewhere... he ran into the kitchen, grabbed a cuke spear and ran off with it. No interaction with me. And now he just ran in for more. And ran out again.

momto4

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:47 am

my son who is now 4 years old sounds very similiar to your son. to make a long story short he ended up on a feeding tube. B"H he doesnt have it now. what really helped him learn to eat was seeing a feeding therapist. there was nothing physiclly wrong with my son, it was completely behavioral. he just did not want to eat. PLEASE contact a feeding therapist. there are clinics that specialize in these situations. get help for your child so you dont have to take the road I did. beleive me it was very long and not very fun. feel free to pm me if u have any questions. good luck!

ChossidMom

Mon, May 05 2008, 8:53 am

Wait a second. You said that he was sick since Friday.
Very often kids who are sick don't eat. What's important is that they drink.
Has he not been eating for longer than a few days? All my kids have gone through not eating periods. Usually has something to do with teething or feeling lousy. They always bounce back.

smiley:)

Mon, May 05 2008, 9:07 am

Tamiri wrote:

He will never take something behind my back. He actually just learned to open the fridge. Once in a blue moon my doing something like you described with the cucumbers will interest him in food. The overwhelming majority of the time that is not the case. It doesnt have to do with interacting with me or not. I have tried all sorts of these tactics to get him to eat. Fill the plate, only give him a little. Offer him to eat, just leave it there for him. Offer him whenever he wants, offer only at meal time. Inside, outside.

momto4- What made it definitive that he needed to be on a feeding tube?

Chossidmom- yes he was sick since Fri and now it is crazier than usual with his eating but even on a regular day he eats very very little.

drumjj

Mon, May 05 2008, 9:23 am

I have a friend who told me she has a friend whos kid will not eat and they found out that she might have a condition that she can eat one bit of food and then she feels full so therefore she doesnt eat. I would def go to a doc and be refered to a nutritionist and make sure there is no problems.