I'm so upset re babysitter

amother

RosePink

Mon, Apr 04 2022, 4:04 pm

amother [ PlumPink ] wrote:

I am a licensed day care Morah for almost 30 years. I live in NY. I can't tell you how much these kinds of threads depress me. Of course the situation is complete sakanos nifoshos, I don't care what any one claims. What I just can't wrap my head around is where is the Yiras Shamayim? It disgusts me even more to think that some of these babysitters have husbands sitting in kollel. Every extra dollar from the extra children is TREIF!!

I’m guessing as a licensed legal Morah you charge double or triple this Morah.
Morahs who take a few kids make very little and that makes it tempting to take more. It isn’t such a livable salary.
If they charge double or triple it wouldn’t be as tempting.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Apr 04 2022, 5:02 pm

amother [ Daphne ] wrote:

I pay privately at a daycare and they kicked me out as of the summer (3 kids) This is the new norm in lakewood. CHS is paying too much money to have to deal with private.

Wow, they kicked you out? No option to pay the amount that CHS is paying them? That is really not right.
I am still trying to figure out how so many people are eligible for CHS, to fill all the daycares. The income cutoff is super low for the amount of hours you have to be working.

amother

Daphne

Mon, Apr 04 2022, 5:05 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

yup kicked me out. I asked them for the new rates but the owner said they didnt want private its easier to deal with CHS.
I called other daycares but I cant find anyone to take all 3 kids so........ Sad

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Apr 04 2022, 5:08 pm

amother [ Daphne ] wrote:

Wow. Now I'm worried that my daycare is going to kick me out!
How could it be easier to deal with CHS? They literally just charge my credit card.

amother

Ghostwhite

Mon, Apr 04 2022, 5:24 pm

How can anyone argue that this is safe? I don’t care how experienced a person is. No single person can carry 12 babies out of a basement when the fire alarm goes off. The Morah is not taking 12 babies into the bathroom if she needs to spend 5 minutes in there (and she’s a human, at some point she will).

I sent my oldest to such groups and am now very upset with myself. Never again.

Op, if you’re paying a higher rate since it’s a “smaller group “ I think you should say something but it may not get you anywhere. I’m sorry I would be upset in your situation too . Sad

amother

Antiquewhite

Mon, Apr 04 2022, 5:56 pm

I would never send to these groups. I work in a legal preschool the ratio is 1 morah to 6 two year olds. For 3-4 year olds its 1 morah to 8 children. Infants it's 1 morah to 4 babies. Unfortunately these large and understaffed play groups are not safe. I would say if the morah to child ratio is unsafe I would take my child out. Kindly explain that no hard feelings but safety first.

amother

Ghostwhite

Mon, Apr 04 2022, 6:02 pm

amother [ Antiquewhite ] wrote:

You’re 100% right but in Lakewood for the most part this is literally the only option. There are no in home ladies to hire for just you and a neighbor, no legal daycares that take private pay…

amother

Maple

Mon, Apr 04 2022, 8:08 pm

abbygiva wrote:

There is no way your baby isn’t being neglected in some way at this babysitter. I am horrified. Are there any babysitters on this thread who can convince me otherwise as tell me how this could possibly work?

Playgroup morah here so they're all toddlers instead of babies but I can't even picture this scenario working out. As someone who's worked in playgroups where kids get given a cookie each time to make them quiet this whole thing makes me so upset, they might be quiet but their actual needs are being ignored. It's not doable, I'm sorry.

amother

Birch

Mon, Apr 04 2022, 8:18 pm

As a mother of one year old twins I cannot for the life of me fathom taking care of an additional baby never mind 8 more?! Unless I’m majorly missing something, there’s just no way! Just feeding, Burping the little ones, diapering, watching that the crawling babies are not swallowing buttons and rocks and bugs etc. and keeping them all safe, nope! And if I’m missing something please share!

amother

Jade

Tue, Apr 05 2022, 12:03 am

amother [ Birch ] wrote:

To play devil's advocate, if you set up your room properly you will ensure that there are no buttons, rocks, or bugs on the floor. Presumably there are no older children in the room to leave crayons, legos, or small candies within the babies' reach.

With a schedule, the feeding, burping, and diapering are totally doable. You can't really follow the individual babies' cues as much, but you can take care of their basic needs.

I had twins also, and if I was spending the day in a childproof room with no responsibilities other than keeping the babies safe, I can totally see it working. Sure, there would be times where one baby hurts another, or where 5 are crying at the same time. There might be a few that wait a little longer for their turn to be fed or for a diaper change. But it's not that unrealistic.

Goldie613

Tue, Apr 05 2022, 1:36 am

amother [ Hyssop ] wrote:

Is there one woman taking care of 10-12 babies?

I agree unsafe and I don't know how they do it.

Any chance she might be willing to have an assistant there for part of the day, at the very least, just to make this a bit safer?

As I'm typing this, I'm realizing that this is really the main question - to the best of your knowledge, is this really a sakanah question? Because if it is, then there's no choice - something will have to change, however you arrange it, in order to keep your little one safe.

amother

RosePink

Tue, Apr 05 2022, 4:26 am

amother [ Ghostwhite ] wrote:

You’re 100% right but in Lakewood for the most part this is literally the only option. There are no in home ladies to hire for just you and a neighbor, no legal daycares that take private pay…

If a babysitter would make the same from 4 babies as 10 babies they wouldn’t do it.
But most ppl aren’t paying chs rates to a women in their house.
The avg lkwd salary doubled. But most babysitters have kept the rates the same. I doubt they can live on it anymore.
(I’m not a babysitter but have friends who stopped bec they couldn’t support themselves anymore. Probably why there is such a shortage. )

amother

PlumPink

Tue, Apr 05 2022, 4:34 am

amother [ RosePink ] wrote:

Guess again! Until 2 years ago almost every other playgroup was illegal so I charged market rate - the same as all the other places that took 10 more kids than I did! In fact, the year they all got caught they all raised their prices by $200 but my price STAYED THE SAME because I had already made a commitment in price when the parents signed up. Those other places just told the parents the circumstances changed because now they could take much less children. I did not change my price so I ended up charging LESS than everyone else that year! There are some of us out there in all businesses who try to be frum jews.

amother

Junglegreen

Tue, Apr 05 2022, 4:37 am

amother [ RosePink ] wrote:

The average Lakewood salary doubled? Lol
I make 40 k
Dh makes 70 k
Gas, food, clothing, dry goods, etc all went up an insane amount but our salaries did not go up.

amother

PlumPink

Tue, Apr 05 2022, 4:40 am

abbygiva wrote:

It can't. There but for the grace of G-d...

amother

Papaya

Tue, Apr 05 2022, 5:03 am

amother [ RosePink ] wrote:

Salaries did not double. Prices did. And we are all suffering.

amother

Ghostwhite

Tue, Apr 05 2022, 5:11 am

amother [ RosePink ] wrote:

All the babysitters I know upped their rates for next year. But my and my husband salary did not double either.
It mostly doubled for seminary girls lol.
Regardless I disagree with your premise. If the Morah was charging $600 a kid or even $800, and someone called them begging to squeeze their baby in so they could go back to work, would they say no because they have enough money? Perhaps the only difference would be more people would be Morah’s and not every Morah would be begged to squeeze in a kid. As it is the only true thing stopping anyone is either the law (in legal places) or honesty and integrity. I don’t feel that a lady taking in 12 eighteen months old by herself is being honest. She cannot properly care doe them.

To the poster talking about the room being childproof and the Morah spending all day focused on the kids:
1) that’s valid with 5 kids. Not with 12.
2) regardless the Morah needs to eat lunch, use the bathroom, and in my experience they also do some household things like throw a load of laundry in. So they’re not 100% focused all the time, they can’t be they aren’t robots. My dd used to come home smelling like liver every Thursday!