Thoughts about Pesach magazines

seeker

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 8:08 pm

As another person divorced from my kids' father, I think the lady in double take is in la-la land. She talks about the kids as being hers without any regard to their father as a father. Even if she has primary custody, she is thinking very selfishly - not about camp specifically, but her tone throughout. It's like she "lets" him take them out every so often, they're really "her" kids. It's true that a decision such as camp should be made jointly (even if it's on his time, it's a big chinuch topic) but she brought it on herself by not being a partner. Also, things like this should probably be in their formal parenting agreement.

It's not simple when blended family members have different things but that's part of the package. You do some "they have this different because they have a different parent" and you also do some stretching to afford things that you wouldn't usually do. But controlling what someone else does is not one of the options.

Mommyg8

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 8:12 pm

rainbow dash wrote:

Really liked that story about the grandfathers peasch seder. Sorry but they are old enough to do their own seder. Noone is able to sit still and not say a word for hours and hours.

This is what I was thinking! I was so shocked at the answers. Literally, they have a 17 year old and they "must" go to her parents for the sedarim? And what was that the husband said about her father being controlling? Nobody seemed to have picked up on that. I was really surprised.

preciousmommy

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 8:42 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

Poor kids. One of the most important mitzvos of the seder is “higadita l’bincha”. You are supposed to gear your seder to the children. And these children are just growing up dreading the seder. It’s all wrong. They’re getting the chinuch backwards.

PinkFridge

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 9:10 pm

amother [ Buttercup ] wrote:

Sadly I couldn’t find the mishpacha in any stores near me in Israel. I got the bina instead. The last story in the supplement really made me mad - it was about a girl who started in the music world (for females only) but her chosson didn’t like it and told her he had to break off the shidduch unless she stopped. (The very basic of the story line)

I’m really not an all out feminist but this felt so wrong!!!

I found it uncomfortable too but she did seem to be getting close to crossing lines that she hadn't wanted to when she started out.

PinkFridge

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 9:10 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

I think it was in Mishpacha, a letter from a woman whose son is married for 4 y, the shadchan said the machatunim father (girl's grandfather) will support them for 8y, he hasn't, and machatunim are supporting the couples who married after this daughter, but not this couple. The mother wanted to know if she can reach out to the shadchan to straighten it out now!! Beyond bizarre.
.

Pesach Yated shidduch column.

Ihatepotatoes

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 10:47 pm

amother [ Buttercup ] wrote:

Same here... There are so many wonderful women out there who are ehrlich and use their talent to sing to women. Why are we making it out to be a bad thing? I wish she had told him "Sorry but I can't give it up"

PinkFridge

Tue, Apr 19 2022, 10:45 am

Ihatepotatoes wrote:

I do feel like she might be cutting off a part of herself for him. But OTOH there were some boundaries that she didn't seem 100% comfortable with that were being pushed back, but this is part of the limitations of the short story format.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Apr 19 2022, 6:18 pm

Mishpacha- calligraphy- The story about the mom with Bipolar really hit home.

It had a fairytale ending though which isn't usually realistic.
Anyone else curious what was on tape 7?

amother

Cappuccino

Tue, Apr 19 2022, 6:25 pm

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

Mishpacha- calligraphy- The story about the mom with BPD really hit home.

It had a fairytale ending though which isn't usually realistic.
Anyone else curious what was on tape 7?

I think the pain the older kids had was very true to life, very little relationship with the mother, a lot of resentment.
The mom was bipolar and she got help and turned her life around so I didn't find it such a fairytale, I think with proper medication people with bipolar can lead happy lives.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Apr 19 2022, 7:57 pm

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

Mishpacha- calligraphy- The story about the mom with Bipolar really hit home.

It had a fairytale ending though which isn't usually realistic.
Anyone else curious what was on tape 7?

I also loved this story! If you are on Facebook, there's a page for the magazines called Fans of Frum Publications (such as: Ami, Binah, Mishpacha, etc). Rachael Lavon discusses this. She deliberately wanted to leave it to the reader's imagination.

amother

Cornsilk

Tue, Apr 19 2022, 8:00 pm

amother [ Cappuccino ] wrote:

Right. My mother has unmedicated BPD (borderline personality disorder, not bipolar) and it’s awful and I don’t have a relationship with her at all, a lot of resentment. I fet very validated seeing this story.

We endured awful screaming hitting yelling threats etc and not an ounce of love or laughter.

amother

Cappuccino

Wed, Apr 20 2022, 7:23 am

amother [ Cornsilk ] wrote:

That sounds so hard. Wow. I'm so sorry.

amother

Jasmine

Wed, Apr 20 2022, 7:36 am

I know it's a hot topic here, so what are people's thoughts on the Binah story about the girl who had to give up driving in order for a shidduch to go through?

PinkFridge

Wed, Apr 20 2022, 9:08 am

amother [ Jasmine ] wrote:

I know it's a hot topic here, so what are people's thoughts on the Binah story about the girl who had to give up driving in order for a shidduch to go through?

Not my frame of reference, so I can't really comment.

amother

Oldlace

Wed, Apr 20 2022, 9:09 am

amother [ Jasmine ] wrote:

I know it's a hot topic here, so what are people's thoughts on the Binah story about the girl who had to give up driving in order for a shidduch to go through?

It may end up being a sore point that will follow them around in the marriage, depending on where the couple eventually settles. In many places driving is a necessary convenience, and as the wife struggles with the hardships, it will continuously be in the forefront of her mind.

Not a good setup, imo. Every marriage has bumps and bruises, and when those occur, the extra burden of not driving will eventually rear its head.

GLUE

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 2:18 am

amother [ Jasmine ] wrote:

I know it's a hot topic here, so what are people's thoughts on the Binah story about the girl who had to give up driving in order for a shidduch to go through?

This is why singles can't go on Imamother, or they will read all these threads on how bad it is not to drive. Smile

(..and it might ruin a fiction shidduch)

It was the part of the story with the not yet Frum girl with a dog that really bothered me, it did not sound to realistic. Then again the whole story did not sound to realistic

amother

Jasmine

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 5:00 am

Actually what I thought was the most unrealistic thing about the no driving shidduch was the thinking it would be a good idea to share that with a non frum partners in Torah friend without turning them off. The narrator in the story came across as extremely insulated not to realize that (I guess the author is, too).

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 5:52 am

I loved the Mishpacha supplement!
Stories that in the past would have been considered 'adult material' in the past presented in such a mature way