Thoughts about Pesach magazines

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 6:11 am

amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:

I loved the Mishpacha supplement!
Stories that in the past would have been considered 'adult material' in the past presented in such a mature way

I’m not 💯% comfortable that my 14 year old daughter read some of the stories… while I enjoyed them I was surprised that some of the stories were reading material for families.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 6:16 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

I’m not 💯% comfortable that my 14 year old daughter read some of the stories… while I enjoyed them I was surprised that some of the stories were reading material for families.

I hear that. But I feel that due to this exact discomfort ALL of our frum literature today is teen appropriate and not satisfying to me as an adult.
If I want to read mature topics I need to go to secular books and those lack the connection to my world - which once again leaves me wanting.

amother

Cappuccino

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 6:19 am

I was fine with all the stories for my 14 year old (yeshivish, no secular literature allowed). But I do screen them first, I only let her read the Junior or Teen magazine without screening. Family First and Mishpacha are adult magazines, definitely not geared for children and they often have heavy intense articles.

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 6:41 am

I allow my teens to read any frum publications, I feel there is so much I don't allow, and with the frum ones worst case it's too mature for them, but not harmful.

Anyway my 13yo was reading the mishpacha supplement, she isn't such a big reader so I was surprised to see her with it. We were both relaxing on the couch reading, suddenly she put it down and told me rolling her eyes, why are all the stories this year about marriage?? Lol. I'm not sure if she ended up finishing it.

amother

Cappuccino

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 6:44 am

amother [ Tealblue ] wrote:

LOL- my daughter said the same thing! Every story is about relationships WHY, all annoyed. Maybe they should do a teen supplement with more teen based stories.

amother

Maple

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 7:18 am

amother [ Cappuccino ] wrote:

LOL- my daughter said the same thing! Every story is about relationships WHY, all annoyed. Maybe they should do a teen supplement with more teen based stories.

In the past there have been teen stories in the teen pages

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 8:40 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

I’m not 💯% comfortable that my 14 year old daughter read some of the stories… while I enjoyed them I was surprised that some of the stories were reading material for families.

I liked it. It was presented in a kosher way and if my dd has any questions she knows she can ask me. It’s so much healthier to read this in a Jewish magazine than in the YA section in the library, and it’s also good to open their eyes that people may have stories you know nothing about, and for themselves to know they’re not alone in their struggles- everyone has different struggles

PinkFridge

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 9:12 am

amother [ Cornsilk ] wrote:

I'd be fine with a teen reading them. But I wish there would have been more pure fun upbeat stories.

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 9:18 am

Calligraphy was excellent this year. Really high quality and I read every story until the end which doesn't always happen.
My 11th grade son was also impressed.
I caught my 12 yo daughter reading it and I had no problem with it but she was complaining she didn't really understand the ending (story of the couple in therapy after the husband finally realizes it's not just his wife's issue in the marriage).... So I can't imagine she was negatively affected by it. I explained that story to get and I think it was a good life lesson but I don't know what else went over her head...

amother

Cappuccino

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 9:20 am

PinkFridge wrote:

I'd be fine with a teen reading them. But I wish there would have been more pure fun upbeat stories.

I also love fun and upbeat but more often than not they come off as superficial and "dumbed down frum fiction". It's a hard balance to get right I think.

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 9:21 am

PinkFridge wrote:

I'd be fine with a teen reading them. But I wish there would have been more pure fun upbeat stories.

I don’t like the fun upbeat stories because they don’t sound at all realistic.

amother

Outerspace

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 9:26 am

watergirl wrote:

I tell my kids that I know it’s hard to see their (half)sister to and their half siblings (my steps) go, and I am sorry its hard for them, and I tell them we will have the best summer we can. And when my son was old enough to complain that “it’s not fair”, believe me my daughter explained it to him. And the next time, I explained the situation as well and as age appropriately as I could. And that was that.

The thing is, who said we are all supposed to get what you want and should do what we want? Yes it’s hard. I hear that. Still it does not mean that I have any say in any way shape or form in what their dad gets to do with them anymore than my husband has a say in what his ex does with the kids.

Shouldn't the father have just run it through with his ex first? I found it distasteful that he couldn't just discuss it with her before telling the kids.

amother

Oldlace

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:08 am

amother [ Outerspace ] wrote:

Shouldn't the father have just run it through with his ex first? I found it distasteful that he couldn't just discuss it with her before telling the kids.

He should have. But based on her reaction, I can see why he did not. This is obviously not the first time this scenario has occurred, and she presumably gives him a very hard time each time around because she can't do the same for her other kids.

He has an equal right to provide for his kids in a way that he sees fit, especially with 'normal' things that the majority of other kids receive. If it were for something extravagant or out of bonds, then that's a different situation. But to want his kids to have the average stuff that all other kids have is nothing extraordinary. She made the choice to live in lifestyle of poverty. He did not. He is not bound by her choices, and he doesn't have to accept her choice for his kids. As long as she can't acknowledge that, and pushes her current family's needs over the idea of compromising, then a conversation will always be futile.

keym

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:08 am

amother [ Outerspace ] wrote:

Shouldn't the father have just run it through with his ex first? I found it distasteful that he couldn't just discuss it with her before telling the kids.

Would it have helped?
Run it by the ex and she says no. So he's still stuck.

amother

Oldlace

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:09 am

keym wrote:

Would it have helped?
Run it by the ex and she says no. So he's still stuck.

It would actually be worse, because then he would directly be defying her. This way, it's simply about what he thought was good for the kids.

amother

Outerspace

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:12 am

keym wrote:

Would it have helped?
Run it by the ex and she says no. So he's still stuck.

Yes that's true, I guess there's no right way really. It's a hard situation to be in, I understand both sides.

amother

Burntblack

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:20 am

I wonder if I read a different calligraphy magazine because I don’t remember reading the blended family story.

I will say that I’m very impressed with the writing. People are so talented!!

I do have one issue, and this is the reason I rarely, rarely ever read frum fiction. It always ends (quickly!) with the protagonist doing the right expected thing. Woman married to someone in prison (who apparently lied and blindsided her with fraud and theft and continued to lie about his innocence) and her daughter isn’t getting dates? Remain the martyr and stay married and it will all work out. There. Tied in a bow.

Real fiction has characters making choices that aren’t necessarily “good”, but real. And consequences. Both good and bad. It’s a journey and sometimes you learn more when there’s a sad or bad ending than you learn from the protagonist that doesn’t act like a real person, but a fictionalized ideal.

I have stories in my head that I write in my head all the time. It’s like a running movie sometimes. But I know that they’d be horrible on the page because I love my characters too much. I don’t want bad things to happen to them. They make the kind of decisions I wish I could make but would never do, and I don’t know anyone that really would.

camp123

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:20 am

I think both the mother and father dealt with it badly. There needs to be some middle path. Yes, they should be able to go to camp if the father wants to pay but the kids should know to be low key about it and not brag to other siblings. Same when they come home from a fun trip with the father. The father if he's that wealthy could buy small presents for the mother's other kids. And maybe not overdoing it with his own kids. Communication is key, especially with the kids and a sensitivity to the other persons opinions.

amother

Snow

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:24 am

amother [ Outerspace ] wrote:

Yes that's true, I guess there's no right way really. It's a hard situation to be in, I understand both sides.

I understand the way the mother feels but she is still wrong, it’s tough to raise a blended family and to share custody with an ex who has a different lifestyle, but it’s about time that she accepted the fact that he is the father of her kids and stop being so resentful.

amother

Oldlace

Sun, Apr 24 2022, 10:26 am

amother [ Burntblack ] wrote:

I wonder if I read a different calligraphy magazine because I don’t remember reading the blended family story.

It was the double take in the regular magazine, not the calligraphy magazine