S/o denying water. Bathrooms in Schools

amother

Lemonchiffon

Thu, May 05 2022, 5:57 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

So send someone to check the bathrooms every once in a while. If there are girls in there just schmoozing or hanging out, send them back to class. It's really not that complicated.

It really shouldn't be so complicated. I think it's a control thing that teachers have. But seriously, if your students want to keep leaving your class maybe take a moment to reflect about why.

amother

Apple

Thu, May 05 2022, 6:00 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I've told my girls that if they need to go and teacher doesn't let, just go. I'll deal with it if there's any fallout. Heaven help a principal who calls me about my DD needing to take care of her personal needs. (no one ever has)

I tell my kids that too. But they are too good, and too scared to do that. I can't tell you how many times they have come home wet, occasionally even soiled, because a teacher or rebbe doesn't let the bathroom. They also tell me at times they don't even ask because the teacher tells the class before that at this point noone can ask to go to the bathroom.

It makes me so so angry, I'm talking about young children here. I've spoken to teachers, sent notes, with one dd I even got a doctors note because she started getting serious problems. It works for a week or 2 and then they forget.

I tell my children all the time, if you need just leave the room and if the teacher tells you off, don't worry, I will deal with it. But they are too scared and they don't.

The thing is when I speak to the teachers they tell me oh of course moishe can go to the bathroom, tell him I don't mean him when I say no bathroom. Or definitely ruchi can go, tell her she has an allowance to go without raising her hand. But that's too late, they already have a fear from the strict rules and instructions the teacher has given the class. And that's the problem. Imo, the only rule should be if you need the bathroom, go. I'm quite sure if the teachers have that mindset the children will pick up on it, and not take advantage. Especially young elementary.

amother

Green

Thu, May 05 2022, 8:49 pm

I teach little kids. We have a bathroom in the classroom that I let the girls use whenever they want . But most want to use the one in the hallway. I let them go one at a time unless they went in the past half hour I tell them to use the one in the classroom.

In high school they used to mark down every bathroom note and eighteen would be a cut on the report card. Some teachers didn’t make you get a note. In twelfth grade they changed it that you can go but bring back a bathroom note and only if you went 20 times in a semester did they start telling you it’s too much.

I had a hard time sitting still and I think a teacher realized it so she always let me get stuff from the office.

amother

Ultramarine

Thu, May 05 2022, 8:56 pm

amother [ Peru ] wrote:

I have a vivid memory of my first grade class. A kid asked to go to the bathroom and the teacher wouldn't let. She couldn't hold it in anymore and just went in her chair and all over the floor. I remember the teacher running to get her a change of clothing (pre-uniforms in elementary days) and having to call someone to clean up the mess. The kid was so mortified.

If I were the parent, the teacher would be fired. Seriously this should be illegal!

amother

Ultramarine

Thu, May 05 2022, 9:01 pm

amother [ Pansy ] wrote:

As a high school principal and teacher- I am getting anxious just reading the stories above! A teenaged girl should be allowed, of course, to us the bathroom as needed. But .....here comes the raw truth. So many misuse the "leaving the room" as an opportunity to cut the rest of class, hang out and shmooze in the bathroom....therefore many teachers are strict about leaving the room. My thoughts? The girl can leave but I always add " to the ladies room and back please, and if you are out too long or do not return- we might have a problem.."
It works like a charm.

One or two at a time usually solves this issue also.

Ultimately though- the classes that have engagement issues usually have bigger problems then just bathroom breaks.

amother

Pewter

Thu, May 05 2022, 10:20 pm

I teach high school seniors in public school and at the beginning of the year, I tell them they don’t need to ask me to use the bathroom. They were shocked and it took a while for them to stop asking me lol. When they go to college or enter the workforce, they have to use their own discretion about bathroom timing. I remember being a college freshman asking to use the bathroom Can't Believe It

So I get my students to start making decisions for themselves now.

amother

Cornsilk

Fri, May 06 2022, 2:24 am

amother [ Lemonchiffon ] wrote:

It really shouldn't be so complicated. I think it's a control thing that teachers have. But seriously, if your students want to keep leaving your class maybe take a moment to reflect about why.

That's what my high school did.

Except when I ditched class we didn't hang out in the bathroom. We went to empty classrooms, library, hallway, staircase, etc.

But yeah they had people come around and check those areas.

amother

Blue

Fri, May 06 2022, 2:43 am

Bathroom restrictions make me very upset. I have a child with IBD who goes through periods of time where she needs the bathroom constantly. Obviously, her teachers are aware of the situation. But the problem is that my child is very uncomfortable that she is obviously not following the class bathroom rules because it signals her as being different. I wish that teachers could understand this and the anxiety that it creates.
I want to point out also that any sort of time limit in the bathroom could pose a problem to kids who suffer from IBD or another GI issue and teachers should be sensitive to that as well.
I have another child (younger elementary) who uses the bathroom frequently at baseline and hardly drinks in school because she is afraid that she'll need to use the bathroom at a time when it's not allowed.
I implore teachers and principals to get rid of bathroom restrictions and teach our children to listen to their bodies. A well run school can ensure that there are no groups if class-cutting students congregating in the bathrooms, hallways, or elsewhere without limiting bathroom access.

amother

Azalea

Fri, May 06 2022, 5:00 am

Chickensoupprof wrote:

I can get it in primary school, but I think once you have your period as a girl you really need to be going to the bathroom when you want. I mean really as a teen I just went even if it meant a fight with a teacher I wouldn't dcare I mean a 14 y/o doesn't admit that she once leaked through and found a bit of blood on the chair.

IF you are afraid that some girls will end up chatting then let one girl goes once a time and after 10 minutes she isn't back go to her when they aren't back yet.

When a person has a loose stomach, they can be in the bathroom for 20 minutes.

This happened to my daughter this week. She said that she thinks her teachers don't restrict anyone from using the bathroom.

amother

Azalea

Fri, May 06 2022, 5:03 am

amother [ Cornsilk ] wrote:

I did that sometimes in high school and eventually I got a letter in the mail that they were penalizing my grade -3 points for one class. It didn't stop me because I was so depressed and probably should've been on meds but I did feel bad for my parents to learn that I was doing that. My parents were more sad than mad.

amother

Azalea

Fri, May 06 2022, 5:06 am

amother [ Ultramarine ] wrote:

One or two at a time usually solves this issue also.

Ultimately though- the classes that have engagement issues usually have bigger problems then just bathroom breaks.

I had a teacher who was the nicest teacher and was also a really fun class to be in. For some reason, we were more likely to abuse the privilege of bathroom breaks. Maybe it's because we felt more understood by that teacher so we were more likely to exploit the rule?

amother

Eggshell

Fri, May 06 2022, 6:41 am

I teach grade 6/7 and my policy is if you need the bathroom you quietly get up and go. I’m teaching I’m engaged. I’m walking around. Checking group work, don’t interrupt me. Just go.

But there are 2 caveats

1. 1 kid out at a time. (So if you goof off and take a long time then someone else might be waiting)
2. If it’s a test you need to ask me.

Kids in general did not abuse the rule. It sssnt a big deal. They always asked me though. My response. Always. I trust you. You don’t need to ask.

And honestly, if a kid needs 20 minutes in the bathroom. (Not with a condition like Ibs) then they are not feeling well and shouldn’t be at school. That kind of stuff can be super contagious.

amother

Moonstone

Fri, May 06 2022, 7:54 am

I am a HS teacher. The first day of school I tell all my classes that I am treating them as adults. They should not interrupt my lesson to ask if they can go to the bathroom - just get up and go. Only one at a time of course. I also said if I see there is a constant "rotating door" I will take away that privilege. Sometimes, if there is 5-10 min left till the end of the period, I ask them if they can wait.
Sometimes they sit down, sometimes they say no. That's fine. Now, in May, there is only one class where the girls have to ask to go to the bathroom.

amother

Latte

Fri, May 06 2022, 7:59 am

Kids should be allowed to go to the bathroom if needed during class, but they should also be spoken to about responsibility and using the bathroom during breaks, even if they don't necessarily need the bathroom. Students should also be told that if they abuse the privilege and kids are constantly going out, the privilege will be taken away. It is very annoying for teachers (and students) when kids are constantly coming and going during class.

keym

Fri, May 06 2022, 8:20 am

amother [ Latte ] wrote:

Why is using the toilet when your body tells you to a "privilege"? Isn't body autonomy a basic right?
And no one's explained to me why girls have these rules and boys don't?
My son's school does not expect boys to ask to use the bathroom. Through 3rd grade, they put up 1 finger, the Rebbi nods and they leave. That's for safety not permission to relieve oneself.
Starting 4th grade, they leave as needed. Teachers and Rebbeim are aware who leaves when and boys are spoken to privately if it becomes too frequent or long. And principals patrol halls and bathroom to make sure there aren't groups of boys shmoozing.
But why is it girls schools that are treated the toilet like a privilege?

amother

Latte

Fri, May 06 2022, 8:25 am

keym wrote:

It's not a privilege per se, it's just the expression used for using the bathroom during class. Kids need to know that the responsible thing is to use the bathroom during breaks.

keym

Fri, May 06 2022, 8:45 am

amother [ Latte ] wrote:

It's not a privilege per se, it's just the expression used for using the bathroom during class. Kids need to know that the responsible thing is to use the bathroom during breaks.

And teachers need to realize that telling kids to go during the break is not always feasible.
Most schools have insane lines at the bathroom. A girl can use her entire break just to "try" to use the bathroom. No snack, no playing, nothing.
That's the part that's unacceptable.
The teachers are acting like a girl who chooses to use her 10 minute break to eat an apple and 2 cookies and drink a cup of water, rather than wait on line for a restroom she doesn't really need has wasted her break and is being irresponsible and doesn't "deserve" the privilege of toilet 25 minutes later when the urge happens.

amother

Magenta

Fri, May 06 2022, 8:57 am

I teach middle school boys. My policy is to treat them as mature individuals. I have a hall pass hanging in the room, and if they need to leave the room for any reason (bathroom, ants-in-pants break, to get a forgotten item) they take it and leave it on their desk. This way I know who is out.
I emphasize that they need to be considerate of their classmates when leaving, because there is only one hall pass.
In all my years of teaching, I've only had one student abuse it (he was out for nearly 20 minutes fatzing around and no one else could go out), and his classmates gave him such a hard time about it that he never did it again.
In special circumstances, a boy can get his own personal pass to leave on his desk -- I've had students with Crohn's or other digestive issues who get their own pass.
The only exception is that I do not allow students to use the hall pass during tests. I announce it before the test and give time for them to deal with whatever they need. For ADHD students, I usually give shorter versions of the test or break it up for them, because some can't sit for the 40 minutes the test lasts.

amother

Magenta

Fri, May 06 2022, 8:59 am

Also forgot to say -- I allow students to have a bottle of water at their desk and drink in class when they need it. This eliminates a lot of going out. BUT -- only water or seltzer (I hate cleaning up sticky spills) and only in a resealable bottle (not a can or a cup).