Dressing down in nicer restaurants in lakewood

amother

Holly

Sun, May 08 2022, 6:02 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's an issue of migraines, can't wear short skirts with tights or sheitels. Never gone to a nice place because of that but really want to. A sheitel is the biggest issue.

I’ve gone to entree with a sefardi woman who wore a beautiful tichel

amother

Firethorn

Sun, May 08 2022, 6:08 pm

Can u manage a wig for just the two hours u are there? Or if not I would def do a tichel over a snood. Can u wear one of those straighter slinky skirts? Like the slim skirt or the skirt leggings? They look more put tog. Wear nice shoes and a pretty top and makeup (I know u said no makeup.. but maybe a little? Or is that migraine issue too?)

amother

Arcticblue

Sun, May 08 2022, 6:09 pm

This website has loads of options. Not sure what's in style in Lakewood. I don't think it's a Jewish website. I found this website because I was looking for a very specific type of beret.
https://www.headcovers.com/scarves/

amother

Lightcoral

Sun, May 08 2022, 6:22 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Is there any nicer restaurant ( not israeli style, not quick burger type of place ) like entree, charq type that someone would feel comfortable going to dressed down? Think snood, no make up, slinky skirt type. Or is everyone dressed to the nines in these places?

You can definitely eat in a fine dining type place without wearing a shaitel, as long as you still look a bit more dressed up.
When you say "snood" I envision an elastic beanie type snood, the kind that you just pull over your head and tuck all your hair in. A chenile snood, etc. Dont wear that.
A colorful/sparkly israeli tichel (the type that is a large square scarf that you fold in a triangle and then tie on) can look very dressed up. They even make it in a pretied version now. Wear it with nice earrings, some lipstick, and you're good to go. Skirt wise, if you want to wear long, just wear a long pretty maxi skirt (now is your time! Theyre very in style, go stock up!).

cupcake123

Sun, May 08 2022, 6:44 pm

Not usually but when I'm in the mood I have gone to fancy places like entree etc in a snood, long skirt, no makeup... I went confident and that's all that matters. At the end of the day most people are not thinking about you only about themselves.
Please go you deserve to go to nice places! Tell us where you go 😁

amother

Geranium

Sun, May 08 2022, 7:11 pm

cupcake123 wrote:

I have also:) we went straight from a beach day. If anyone noticed, no one said boo.

I would go and not overthink it… you deserve to enjoy yourself. This isn’t someone’s Simcha or shul where you need to show respect. They seriously won’t care.

(I don’t wear headscarves because they show my hair at the sides always, more than my snood)

amother

Sun, May 08 2022, 7:30 pm

amother [ Topaz ] wrote:

What do you wear to simchos?

I only go to ones that I am obligated to attend and I suffer through it, I don't really have a choice. But eating out doesn't feel worth the suffering, so I would sooner just skip it than bring on a migraine.

amother

Dill

Sun, May 08 2022, 8:19 pm

I'm not understanding what the big deal is.
Maybe it's a cultural thing - I'm just not hearing what the fuss is about. You're not going in dirty clothing or ripped jeans, you're wearing a snood. If you don't care about being dressed down, then what's the big deal?
I have wealthy family members who regularly used to take us out to expensive restaurants and they are the most casual people you can imagine - they never got dressed up.
Perhaps because they're not from the east coast? Or maybe it's just their quirk? I don't know, but we were never turned away - and the restaurants were more than happy for their business.

eta - I'm sorry I see the title is Lakewood specific, so I really shouldn't have given an opinion as I'm not from Lakewood and I've never been to a nicer restaurant there.

1ofbillions

Sun, May 08 2022, 8:23 pm

I definitely recommend that you try wearing scarves instead of snoods sometimes, not just at a restaurant. They can be so pretty and comfortable!

Here are some popular frum scarf retailers:

https://thetieurknot.com/ - they sell pretied scarves with a thin strip grip sewn in so you don’t have to wear a separate grip band. You’d appreciate that in terms of your migraines. Code MOMSDAY for 10% off today.

https://scarfbarshop.com/ - code MD20 until midnight to get 20% off your order.

wiki

Sun, May 08 2022, 9:14 pm

And just think: the person at the table next to you will feel less self-conscious than she would have, that even with her shaitel and makeup she's somehow underdressed, which is what she'd probably feel if you were not there.

amother

NeonYellow

Sun, May 08 2022, 9:46 pm

I agree with all the posters that say you should try a hat fall..you'll probably love it!

but in the restaurant most people will be focusing on their own food so don't worry about that! no one is noticing your head gear!

amother

Eggshell

Sun, May 08 2022, 9:53 pm

Op do whatever is comfortable for you and go and enjoy!
It’s not a chasuna you are paying the restaurant for a service. Do what works for you and do not think twice. You are dressed tzniusly you are doing the mitzvah of kisui Rosh nothing else matters. Serve Hashem in joy!

amother

Hunter

Sun, May 08 2022, 10:53 pm

Wow I’m shocked it’s even a question. Is the store paying you to dress up as a prop to cater to thier ambiance? If not ,I really don’t see why it’s even entering your mind to ask.
Who are you dressing up for? Who are you trying to impress? The restaurant didn’t pay you - your paying them. The other ladies in the store? Why should they have a say in what you must wear? Why give them control? Your husband? I hope he’ll be happy that you’ll be comfortable and he’ll forgive the dressing up.
You do you and don’t worry so much about what others will think!!

amother

Clematis

Mon, May 09 2022, 9:14 am

I have an issue eating while wearing my sheitel. I don't know how ladies do it, but the hair always gets in my food and it's both annoying and gross.
I stopped wearing sheitels to restaurants. I took my sheitel off before shulchan orech at the seder etc.
When I had a band fall, I was able to wear that but now I just wear a pretty tickel. I prefer the ones that come with elastic inside but have longer tails than a regular pre-tied.
They look amazing with hoop earrings.

I'm in Israel though, so I don't know what works for Lakewood.

mommyhood

Mon, May 09 2022, 10:25 am

amother [ Dill ] wrote:

I think it's a similar culture in NYC, Teaneck, Monsey. The issue isn't whether the restaurant will turn her away it's whether OP will be comfortable. To give the opposite example, a pizza store won't turn you away if you're wearing wedding clothing but you the customer might feel weird. If OP has the self confidence that's great but she will definitely be different than most if not all of the other people in the room.