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amother


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Wed, May 18 2022, 6:10 pm
Here's my story. I'm starting my own thread because I want people to see it.
I got married pretty young and had a baby 2 years later so I made lots and lots of meals for friends who had their first babies. (Including a meal for a friend's mother... boy was I annoyed and then even more upset when I delivered it and she said her mom had left town already)
So when I finally had a baby, my married friends were busy with 1-2 kids and my single friends weren't on the radar.
I also moved into my mothers house for 2 weeks so nobody thought I needed any food. In reality I was hardly pampered there and I was busy feeding myself but that's a different story.
Side note: You never know what anyones experience is like. I once sent an entire shabbos to someone who had a bunch of sisters and sisters in law living down the block but her husband outright asked my husband in shul for food.... so go figure... I know that everyone thought I was being taken care of in my mothers house but I was actually home alone all day in an empty house making my own food.
Anyway...
After 2 weeks I returned to my little apartment feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I also had a simcha the next day but somehow had to make supper and restock my apartment etc.
Now I had one friend, a casual seminary friend who had insisted that I tell her when I return to town. I totally forgot about it. But here I am, standing in my empty apartment surrounded by all the baby paraphernalia to unpack and she messages me that my husband should come pick up the food.
Dh comes back and puts things on the table. I see a pan of ziti and I'm like - OK well its a nice thought, I won't really eat pasta but at least dh will. I'm starving though so I sit down and eat about 2 plates of ziti lol.
Once I come up for air, I realize there's other stuff on the table. There was so much diapers, etc dumped on it that I didn't notice the rest of my friends delivery. Here it was: zucchini soup, the pan of ziti, a pan of undressed salad, a container of cut up fruit, a plate of brownies AND disposable plates, cups and cutlery!!
It's 5+ years later and I can still cry from the feeling of being nurtured and supported.
If you read this you know who you are!!
Ever since then I try to specifically send meals especially if it's after the time. And I try to go overboard like that. Because every new mother deserves it!!
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LittleDucky


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Wed, May 18 2022, 6:31 pm
amother [ Poinsettia ] wrote: | Not to negate your friends generosity, but When I send suppers I send all that plus a chicken/fish and a potato side. It’s extremely nice of her but honestly, it’s not tons of food for a postpartum nursing mother. Unless it was meant to be lunch/snack and not supper |
What?!?!
Here she is, touched that someone helped her out. Something she remembered years later. Something important to her.
And you have the audacity to say that it was not good enough? That it wasnt enough food?
Apparently it was enough. She enjoyed it and remembered it and specific details about it. People dont remember things if it wasnt important to them and/or didnt impact them. This did. Why disrupt those memories and gratitude?
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Ema of 5


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Wed, May 18 2022, 6:41 pm
amother [ Poinsettia ] wrote: | Not to negate your friends generosity, but When I send suppers I send all that plus a chicken/fish and a potato side. It’s extremely nice of her but honestly, it’s not tons of food for a postpartum nursing mother. Unless it was meant to be lunch/snack and not supper |
If she appreciated it so much that it still stands out 5 years later, then that’s what matters. It was MORE than enough for her, and what’s more, it was appreciated!! Please don’t rain on her parade.
Also, that is PLENTY of food for one meal. Maybe not the healthiest, but definitely enough for one meal.
Last edited by Ema of 5 on Wed, May 18 2022, 6:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ema of 5


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Wed, May 18 2022, 6:43 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote: | what I found really funny was that after I had a baby a few people sent suppers the first week or 2 and every single person sent rice for the side dish. We were nauseous from rice after that that I said that when I make suppers for people I am NOT doing rice lol |
That’s where a meal train or an organizer comes in handy. Everything gets written down, and you know what other people are sending, so you can try not to duplicate.
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Ema of 5


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Wed, May 18 2022, 6:48 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote: | iyh Im going to ask someone to take care of that for me the next time around. no one told me before what they were going to be sending |
Mealtrain is really my favorite because everything is right there when you click on the link. You can put in all the info you want- address, how many people, allergies/preferences, delivery time AND INSTRUCTIONS (such as there is no street parking and I can’t come out to get the food!!) and anyone who clicks on the link will see all of it. They see who is making what also, so hopefully they won’t duplicate. Also, it means that you don’t have to have someone accessible and organized to be writing everything down.
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Blessing1


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Wed, May 18 2022, 7:05 pm
amother [ Poinsettia ] wrote: | Not to negate your friends generosity, but When I send suppers I send all that plus a chicken/fish and a potato side. It’s extremely nice of her but honestly, it’s not tons of food for a postpartum nursing mother. Unless it was meant to be lunch/snack and not supper |
What OP received is a full meal for us and what I send to others. I send even less. I send soup, ziti, salad. Sometimes a baked good if I have time. I consider this a hearty meal.
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