Feeling Undermined

Michelle123

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:18 pm

I know everyone is over covid. We live in an out of town community that handled covid more strictly than most in the Ny area. I was really ok with that. Our family recently had covid, but our son was permitted to attend school bc he had no symptoms,is vaxxed and tested negative. The nurse said, however, according to school/CDC policy, he would need to wear a mask for the 10 day period. Our son was upset by this but we told thim this was our expectation that he follow school rules and he reluctantly agreed. He then asked is rebbee (who was told by the nurse that he needed to wear a mask) if needed to mask in class and the rebee told my son that he wasn't makpid on masking... I can't help but feel like we have been undermined by our son's rebbe. My other children have been told they need to wear masks (for the duration of the 10 days) in school because that is the school rule, but they know their brother doesn't have to because his teacher doesn't hold by the school rules. It has created a lot of tension in the family now. I have reason to believe my son is telling the truth and not exaggerating based on past experience and similar things that I have heard from other families. If the rebbe had just told him to wear the mask, my son would have complied. I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to make an issue- the school year is almost over. But I don't know what to tell my son re teacher who disreguards school policy.

amother

Watermelon

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:23 pm

I don't think it's the biggest deal for kids to be told that different teachers have different rules for their classrooms. Of course it's not ideal. But it's not the end of the world and definitely not something I would pursue further with the school in any way.

amother

Lightgreen

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:27 pm

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

I wouldn’t pursue it further either, but the rebbi really should be following the school rules. He should not be teaching his talmidim that it is ok to disregard rules you don’t agree with.
What would the reaction be if the school policy was that kids don’t have to mask, but a teacher/rebbi said “this is my personal policy”?

amother

Watermelon

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:33 pm

amother [ Lightgreen ] wrote:

Like I said, it's not ideal. But firstly, you don't know whether or not the rebbi has permission from admin to use his discretion regarding masks. And second, this come up on other areas from time to time too. For example, there can be a school rule of no gum chewing. And a rebbi can decide that he has a student who benefits greatly from chewing gum in class, so he allows it in his own class. Whatever, these things happen. People can be flexible.

naomi2

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:34 pm

So you want all your children suffering by wearing masks for hours at school even when one of them got permission not to? Dont be such a rule follower at your child's expense. Making a child wear a mask all day is abusive in my opinion. It doesn't matter if all the adults around are condoning these rules. And the children are conditioned to accept is as ok. It's not ok, It is abusive to but them through such discomfort at this point in time.

amother

Chambray

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:40 pm

I would go to the administration that the Rebbi is not upholding the school rules. The Rebbi is absolutely allowed to do what he wants on his own time, but when in school, school policy applies to his classroom as well.
What if the school rule was no knives in school. Do you think is it fine if he pop-poos it and allows in his classroom? What about bullying? Smoking?…..
I am sure he is a great Rebbi, but the school rules apply until he has his own cheder or Mesivta in his own location.

Michelle123

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:41 pm

naomi2 wrote:

My children won't suffer by wearing a mask for a few hours a day for a few days of school this week. Real child abuse exists. This isn't it. If we actually believed a school was abusing our children, they wouldn't be enrolled there.

amother

Watermelon

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:45 pm

amother [ Chambray ] wrote:

Of course no one should ignore a dangerous exception to rules. This is not an example of that. It's pretty alarming that you think an unmasked child who is vaccinated and tested negative is in the same category as someone who brings a knife to school, bullies, or smokes. Hashem yishmor.

naomi2

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:51 pm

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

Yes people are so brainwashed they are unreasonable these day.
Cover a child's nose and mouth for hours a day inhibits their social emotional growth, and is very uncomfortable. It is abusive without good reason. In this case where covid has mutated to a mild illness, it is not warranted.

amother

Chambray

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:53 pm

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

Do you know who the other classmates, who can transmit. have at home and what their risk factors are? When was he tested? Maybe he will test positive the next day but is still in the time frame when he is contagious?
I work in a hospital. Just because it is not a risk to you doesn’t mean that other people are not of consideration.

Michelle123

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:55 pm

naomi2 wrote:

That's your opinion-unwarranted, excessive, overkill- perhaps. Abusive- no. Don't put child abuse in the same category as this. Take some time to learn what actual abuse is.

amother

Watermelon

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:55 pm

amother [ Chambray ] wrote:

I have no comment on whether or not there's possible risk here. I have major issue with comparing it to knives, bullying and cigarettes.

amother

Seashell

Sun, May 29 2022, 3:26 pm

You are over reacting. It’s very common for a teacher to tell kids in my class I allow xyz even when school has a rule. Like recess, eating in class, gum chewing etc.. and you know what our kids all come out ok. I’m lost as to how this is causing such disruption in your house. I think the worst part here is you making a huge deal over it.

naomi2

Sun, May 29 2022, 3:30 pm

Michelle123 wrote:

That's your opinion-unwarranted, excessive, overkill- perhaps. Abusive- no. Don't put child abuse in the same category as this. Take some time to learn what actual abuse is.

a range of behaviors are considered abusive. just because the child is not being beaten, it doesn't mean forcing them to mask is not abusive as well.

Michelle123

Sun, May 29 2022, 3:33 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

OP here I'm not making a huge deal. I didn't go to the school or make an issue out of it. Told my son to respect the adults around him. Just seeking advice from other people. It is normal for siblings to get upset when one child is held to a different set of rules than everyone else. Parenting through all this is challenging. Go mommy shame someone else if you cannot be constructive in your feedback.

amother

Sunflower

Sun, May 29 2022, 3:36 pm

The fault is on your son who did a very sneaky thing.
What kind of kid goes behind the parents back and asks the rebbe when the parent says no.
The rebbe in all innocence, answers the child the way he runs his class, probably feeling bad for your child, who clearly doesn’t want to wear a mask.
Then he goes, tells on the rebbe and the parents go and want to tell the principal on this rebbe.
Now you know why teachers get burnt out.
Because of nasty parents who can’t parent properly and then have the teachers take the blame.

Michelle123

Sun, May 29 2022, 3:41 pm

amother [ Sunflower ] wrote:

I had no intention of going to the principal. Just looking for some friendly parenting advice from what I thought was a supportive community.Never coming to this forum again.

Sincerely,
Nasty Parent