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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
Who does the financial paperwork in your house?
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| I do all the paperwork |
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39% |
[ 93 ] |
| My husband does it all |
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42% |
[ 100 ] |
| Both me and my husband split the paperwork |
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17% |
[ 42 ] |
| other -comment below |
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1% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 238 |
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Jul 28 2022, 5:28 am
I find dealing with finances, filling out paperwork is so time consuming and stressful.
Things like dealing with accountants,
tax returns,
dealing with yeshivah grants and tution
mortgage applications,
filling out paperwork for school, applying for passports,
dealing will bills such as utilities, therapists etc
insurance issues
Just curious if this is normally a mens job or women do it.
I feel like I can spend quite a few hours a week on stuff like this and some of it is stressful. I am sort of jealous of my friends who don't have this on their head.
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amother
Almond
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 5:32 am
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It depends on the relationship. I want to get it done. If I wait for dh to do it, I'll keep nagging him and going nuts. So I do it. Takes me way quicker and I know what's going on. Sometimes it's funny because none of my friends do it, so if I'm confused about something no one knows;)
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nicole81
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 5:36 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | I find dealing with finances, filling out paperwork is so time consuming and stressful.
Things like dealing with accountants,
tax returns,
dealing with yeshivah grants and tution
mortgage applications,
filling out paperwork for school, applying for passports,
dealing will bills such as utilities, therapists etc
insurance issues
Just curious if this is normally a mens job or women do it.
I feel like I can spend quite a few hours a week on stuff like this and some of it is stressful. I am sort of jealous of my friends who don't have this on their head. |
It's neither a "men's" or "women's" job. In marriages, and any partnerships, people split responsibilities by who's best suited for the task. But things should also be equitable, so if you feel you have a larger load of responsibilities on your plate, then you should discuss with dh.
My husband does most of these things, but he has also been a SAHD the past couple of years and has the time to sit on the phone and invest hours in finding documents, etc. But he does come to me before he submits anything with questions and some missing information that he didn't have. I'm also way more tech savvy, so I do the scanning and uploading from my phone and deal with the myriad of "computer issues" (I prefer to refer to them as user issues) he encounters. But even that little bit is annoying and stressful, so I totally feel for you if you do it all.
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amother
Brickred
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 6:15 am
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I do most of it, but if I get too overwhelmed by a particular thing I ask my husband to do it. And then he asks me to help him anyway
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shabbatiscoming
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 7:33 am
Growing up my parents would sit down every sunday with whatever paper work needed to be done, bills and anything else.
Thankfully we have almost no paper work, its all on line and no bills, its all done through the bank and online (I havent seen a check in a loooong time  )
So if we do have any paper work or something that needs filling out on line, I usually do it just because my hebrew is better than my husband's but if I want us to do it together, he is there to help me.
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amother
Snapdragon
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 7:53 am
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If this was 1922 I would say it’s a man’s job. But we are quite evolved from that. It’s for whichever spouse handles it better.
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Chayalle
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 8:00 am
| amother [ Snapdragon ] wrote: | | If this was 1922 I would say it’s a man’s job. But we are quite evolved from that. It’s for whichever spouse handles it better. |
This.
I grew up with a father who worked to support the family, and a mother who was officially a SAHM but she took care of all the bills/paperwork etc...(though he did the taxes). I think each of them did what they are good at.
It's the same with me and DH. We each do what we're good at in the household. (and I do the paperwork/bills/taxes. No nagging involved.)
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amother
Burntblack
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 8:00 am
I deal with the paperwork. He deals with the people.
So I'll fill out the school registration forms and he'll call the school if anything needs to be discussed.
That's what works for us.
And yes, it is very time consuming. Very.
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amother
Red
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 8:17 am
I get really overwhelmed with papers and numbers school or taxes or bills.
However I can fill out a basic doctor form as a new patient.
My DH is very calm so he does it and he does not mind at all Baruch HaShem.
It works for US!
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amother
Oxfordblue
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 8:21 am
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I do. But it never occurred me to mind.
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amother
Dustypink
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:06 am
Mil did it all, fil would come I'm on Fri and hand her his paycheck type..
When we got married, dh was like "it worked for my parents, I also want to do that."
I was like no way.
He tried to argue that I was the breadwinner, and it just made sense.
I felt it made even less sense, I already have the stress if bringing in the money, I want to share the burden.
So I taught him to pay some bills, just for the principle of the matter.
Its really all on me, though.
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amother
Catmint
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:08 am
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DH would do it, I’m just better at it. I feel like he pulls his weight (and more) in plenty of other areas so I have no reason to be upset that it’s all on me. There’s lots of things that are all on him.
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Mayflower
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:18 am
I voted "other". We used to do everything together but it got confusing - I would assume DH took care of something and he thought I had already taken care of it... In the end, we decided it's best for me to handle all the day-to-day bills, filling out paperwork, making appointments etc.
He takes care of the practical stuff (I put together the paperwork to apply for a passport, he will take the kids to the embassy. I'll call the dentist, he will take the kids to their appointment... etc...). It's what works for us.
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esther11
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:21 am
It naturally divided between the two of us.
My husband does the stuff that is purely numbers - he pays the monthly bills, deals with mortgage, tuition, Maaser, etc.
I do the more “application” type - medical insurance, therapy needs, school applications, passport, camp enrollment…
Appointments for the kids I always schedule and usually am the one to take them. Occasionally when I can’t go, he will instead.
Last edited by esther11 on Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:22 am; edited 1 time in total
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hodeez
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:21 am
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I cut out the middle man and married the accountant ☺️
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:27 am
It's not so much of a man's women's job. But when my very dear husband got to know his amazing adhd wife realization dawned on him that if he doesn't want the house to be taken as foreclosure and the lights to be shut off then he can't let her alone with those papers for a minute.
So as the gentleman that he is, he stepped up to the plate. And like a hero emerging from the raging flames with a child in his arms, he snatched those dizzying papers away from his wife and declared "you shall never have to fill out another paper in this lifetime again!"
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amother
Lemonlime
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:30 am
My husband does mortgage, utilities, credit card bills, medical bills, taxes and his own insurance stuff.
I do my own and kids insurance stuff, fill out all the forms needed for school/camp/insurance/tuition.
So I deal with annoying forms and he does the $.
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amother
Honey
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:33 am
Dh does all financial. A-Z. I don’t really know how much we have in the bank.
I do everything involving the kids. So insurance updates, medical forms, appointments etc. he still calls me when booking flights what their date of birth is.
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Rubber Ducky
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:38 am
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DH is a CPA. I am a creative type. When we married over 3 decades ago, I gave him all my paperwork, thrown into a shoebox. He was aghast. So he handles all that.
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amother
Impatiens
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Thu, Jul 28 2022, 9:51 am
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DH does the bill paying and investments and handles most of the financial paperwork or online stuff. If he left them to me they'd end up in messy piles on the kitchen table and get paid late, if at all. I deal with anything that needs to be done in person or on the phone. I also deal with all the school forms and all the appointments for the kids.
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