Is it insensitive to eat in front of the kid?

amother

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 9:49 am

Ok thanks.
The bottom line here I guess is to just be more organized and cognizant ...not my strong points as I have rather a spontaneous, absent-minded nature.
So this whole parsha is super challenging for me.
But we do what we have to do... Very Happy

Waffles

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 11:30 am

I'm sorry you are finding this difficult. But just like you can't be 'spontaneous and absent minded' about hopefully finding kosher food when on a trip, you have to be prepared to bring along for your family., allergic kid included,.

amother

Cinnamon

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 11:47 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Can anyone direct me to a link or a brand of parve frozen pizza ?

When I make homemade pizza I make several without cheese (my son isn't a fan of daiya or soy cheese and he's happy with just sauce or sauce and veggies) and freeze a few to use as 'frozen pizza'. Otherwise pita with sauce works fine. They also sell pre-baked pizza rounds but none of my kids like those.

amother

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 12:52 pm

amother [ Cinnamon ] wrote:

I am just afraid to put it in the pizza maker. I guess I can get a dedicated pizza maker just for parve.
I will try this, thanks.

amother

Ghostwhite

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 1:02 pm

Bh no allergies with my kids, but I have a brother with multiple food allergies. Yes, the family had to adjust to him. Certain foods couldn't be eaten at home anymore, only out. And yes, when we went out, my parents had to prep and pack food for my brother. If we were going to a party, my parents wpuld find out what was being served and make something comparable for my brother to take along. Nobody complained, we love our brother and didn't want him to get sick, so we did what we had to do. Even now, when I know my brother is coming to visit, I put away anything that could potentially be a problem for him, keep a couple special pans to cook his food etc. It's just what we have to do for him so that he can be safe.

amother

Oleander

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 1:07 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I am just afraid to put it in the pizza maker. I guess I can get a dedicated pizza maker just for parve.
I will try this, thanks.

Yes we have two pizza makers.

top mom

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 1:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I agree that that's the bottom line.
You can't just buy takeout, or take a trip spontaneously.
I always have to prepare and take along tons of homemade rolls, cakes, cookies, and plan meals in advance.
It's just part of our reality.

amother

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 1:13 pm

amother [ Ghostwhite ] wrote:

Thanks for your experience.
This is all still new to me and I'm learning as I go. I have quite a large family and this is the first child with allergies. And I didnt grow up with any allergic siblings either.
I'm still trying to process that fact that all the day camps I reached out to said no to my son because of his allergies. I don't blame them at all but it still stings.

amother

Oleander

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 1:17 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Very likely you’ll need to hire a para. I’m nervous every day about sending my allergy child off and his allergies are not life threatening.

amother

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 1:19 pm

amother [ Oleander ] wrote:

Very likely you’ll need to hire a para. I’m nervous every day about sending my allergy child off and his allergies are not life threatening.

Oy...I try not to think about that.
Curious, is a Para covered by insurance?

amother

Tealblue

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 1:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The more official and organized the program is the more they'll be able to cope with allergies. We send to a formal daycare instead of an at home one like I did with my older kids.

amother

Puce

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 1:53 pm

OP can you find a kindergarten who will accommodate? There are some around.

I've just been feeling the other side of the coin. My kid's kindergarten is nut free, dairy free and egg free. I really understand that but am banging my head against a brick wall with my super fussy 4 year old who is starving himself all day because he has no sandwich he will eat. I understand it's life threatening. I'm not objecting. But I think I am going to have to move him to a school where he can eat.

I was at an allergy clinic with one of my kids last week and there was a mother in the waiting room feeding her kid a peanut butter sandwich Banging head

. I went over and pointed out that this wasn't really the right venue for it and got yelled at for my efforts. I had to ask the secretary to kick her out and clean the area before we could go in.

How we manage on a daily basis? There are some foods we just don't keep in the house. If my older kids want pizza my husband will take them and I'll stay home with my allergic kid. We don't bring it into the house. Ice cream is usually easy to substitute. I don't take this kid to simchos - it's too easy to make a mistake.

amother

DarkKhaki

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 2:36 pm

top mom wrote:

This is a huge challenge for me... not a kid but dh has a severe food sensitivity that I didn't find out about until Sheva Brachos
Bh I've adapted and can make everything dh-approved but super annoying that when I had a hard day etc and can't just order out. Or when we're traveling I have to be super prepared....

mommyhood

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 2:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Another thing is that I recently went to a bris. I took the baby along. Right away he started asking for food even before the bris. Everything had cheese or sesame seeds or eggs...
I felt really bad. I did have his snacks in his bag (along with his epi) but he only wanted food from the bris. should I have just not gone to the bris? Or left him at home? Or not stayed for the meal?
He loves going out with me. I just find myself in a new situation which was never an issue before. Do you just not take your allergy kids out to public events and parties?

I do avoid bringing my allergic child to Brissim and simchos and parties if he doesn’t really need to be there. I just feel it’s so hard for them to literally not be able to eat everything. If I do bring them I take tons of treats and I mean tons of candy and cookie not just a regular snack. I don’t even attempt to get them to eat anything healthy, my goal is they should have a good time and to minimise the jealousy as much as possible.

amother

Aqua

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 2:59 pm

amother [ Sunflower ] wrote:

Just want to chime in that that’s not necessarily true. We were very careful around my nephew till around 6/7 and now he understands much more and doesn’t care. (We still have his prepared alternatives but he won’t cry or ask for the real deal. Understands when he has something different)

I’m still confused that you took him to an ice cream store? I’m actually confused how you didn’t think that’s cruel

But that's probably because he knows he has alternatives.

"Just because everyone is eating cheese, doesn't mean I want cheese now, but I know I can have pareve cheese if thats what I want right now"

amother

Milk

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 3:01 pm

amother [ Quince ] wrote:

Always have a comparable alternative available.

Its a lifestyle adjustment but completely doable. Its a mindset.

Having pizza? Have a cheeseless or pareve pizza alternative

Having dairy ice cream? Have a pareve alternative. (In ice cream shops, there is pareve ice cream, sorbet etc, why couldn't he have those?)

Its for the obvious fairness and accepting his lifestyle needs as just as much a part of the family.

Other reasons are that you want him to: 1. Accept his allergies and not chas vshalom try to “sneak” and 2. Create normal, healthy eating patterns just as everyone else.

Is it a perfect science? No.
Is it totally doable? Yes.

Once a person has the respect and the tools in place, they can be taught that ‘this is how you were made and here are the ways you can handle it’.

(There will be restrictions, true, but that then has to accepted by the person as one does if they have diabetes, asthma etc. It just IS).

Hatzlacha. Hope he grows out of some or hopefully all!

As a mother of a child with a dairy allergy I would never be able to get my child pareve ice cream in a milchig store. It is too risky.

amother

Azalea

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 4:58 pm

Ofcoarse it insensitive.
I have allergy child as well and he always gets a more exciting replacement and the other kids are very understanding knowing this isnt a challenge they would want themselves.
If we go to the pizza shop he gets to choose anything pareve or we make a stop at a fleishig restaurant before or after.
Whenever I make homemade pizza I replace his for non dairy/toffu cheese slices.
Shevuos its lots of yummy pareve cakes, homemade and bakery.
Most dinners I cook fleishig because of him, noone minds were not big dairy eaters anyways.
Baked ziti, replaced with his cheese.
There are always small portion cooked foods in the freezer for times we need them.
Ice creams these days have plenty of non dairy options available. As one mentioned ice cream shops are risky we had a pretty bad experience. We asked for dairy free but my son had a reaction due to the fact that they utensils/machines arent cleaned well.
During the 9 days were doing filling soups, tuna patties, flounder, his special pizza, falafal, ect
Its really doable once you get the hang of it.