save me from the "why"s

smiley:)

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:11 am

My son who will be 3 in the middle of the summer is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay into the why stage. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to make sure once in a while I take a step back from it because it IS cute. But goodness... it could drive me crazy. I was cutting potatoes this morning. I finished and he said "are there more potatoes left?" I said yes. "why?"
He was holding an ice cream cone we got in the supermarket and I told him we'd walk right home so it wont melt. "why will it melt?" Because when it's hot the ice cream melts. Why? Because ice cream is cold so the hot melts it. Why? grrr.

I am going to go put your younger brother into hiis crib. Why? Because he is tired. Why? Because he had a busy morning. Why? Because we did a lot of things. Why?

HELP ME!!!!! Its crazy because he is not around other kids a lot but this why stage still has gotten developed!!!

suomynona

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:14 am

We're still in middle of the whats.
Everything I say, he says What? I say it again. What? and again and again. He heard me the first time. I have to train myself to ignore the whats but I find myself repeating myself automatically without thinking.

smiley:)

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:18 am

Yea after I say something he says "What did you say?" ANd repeats it until I say it again. Also before the whys came "what does that mean." Problem is I feel very bad when I dont answer him because I feel it could damage his self esteem if I ignore or get annoyed (which I am guilty of sometimes). On the other hand how can you answer all the time when it is literally 5 times a minute????
I dont so much understand the function of the whys either.

When I dont have anymore answers I say "bc Hashem made it that way." Last night he asked why to something and I said I dont know. He said "it's because Hashem made it that way." (One time he asked me who is Hashem!)

grin

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:26 am

yes, it can drive you crazy, but don't tune them out too much or they'll learn eventually to do the same to you. Just remember, this is all a stage where they still believe you have all the answers. You want to keep it that way for years to come, so they don't start deciding to look elsewhere when it's much more important..
"insanity is hereditary - we get it from our kids!" No wonder we get senile as we age!

shalhevet

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:30 am

For the what stage - after they've asked three or four times, ask them back - "what is it?" that usually stops them.

The why stage if it gets too much, you can also ask back "why do you think?"

smiley:)

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:34 am

I am going to clean your face. Why? Because it is dirty from when you just ate. Why? Because it got on your face. Why?

Imma this is a fuel truck. I see. Why is it ia fuel truck?

grin

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:39 am

so like shalhevet said - answer him: "why is it a fuel truck?"

(they're not really looking for answers or paying much attention to what is said - they're just looking for positive attention.)

mummy-bh

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:42 am

How about asking him back, I don't know, "why do you think it's a fuel truck. "
Sometimes I do that, and it gives the child the opportunity to think about the subject matter instead of rattling of automatic whys.

smiley:)

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:51 am

He'll answer.... and then ask another why 2 seconds later. He always has answers on him. But for every answer there are a few more whys about to come.

grin

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:54 am

just take a deep breath and ENJOY it while it lasts!!!
It'll be over before you know it, and then the next stage comes to take its place.

wif

Thu, May 22 2008, 4:58 am

Oh...I do not think they are doing it for attention at all. I believe they are genuinely asking why because they need to have to the whole world figured out. They have reached the unique understanding that not all of the world is them, but they belong in this world. What is it? What is it's purpose? Why? Actually an earlier (and not neccessarily whinier) version of the same questions that they will be asking themselves when they become teenagers, only in reversed--who am I, what is my purpose, etc.

Answer their questions! If you really had enough, end with "I'm not sure why, but good question." My three year old usually replies to that with "oh."

sarahd

Thu, May 22 2008, 5:00 am

I've been going through that stage for a year and a half now and I've already been driven up the wall.

The "what" part isn't so bad, because I realize that most of the time he asks "what?" just to give himself time to process what I've said. If he really didn't hear me, he'll ask, "What did you say?" or "I didn't hear you."

But the whys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least we've gotten to the point where he'll sometimes ask "why" and then say, "Oh, now that's a silly question."

grin

Thu, May 22 2008, 5:05 am

sarahd wrote:

At least we've gotten to the point where he'll sometimes ask "why" and then say, "Oh, now that's a silly question."

Bored

Thu, May 22 2008, 5:06 am

My 3.5 year old never did the why stage, should I be concerned?

When he did the whats, I would answer a few times and then say back to him "what do you think I said"

Last edited by Bored on Thu, May 22 2008, 5:08 am; edited 1 time in total

smiley:)

Thu, May 22 2008, 5:13 am

Bored wrote:

My 3.5 year old never did the why stage, should I be concerned?

When he did the whats, I would answer a few times and then say back to him "what do you think I said"

Yea bored. Maybe YOU should start asking why to all HIS questions so he'll catch onto it! Then you can come join me in the looney bin!