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Workaholic husband

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Aug 08 2022, 6:22 pm
I’m really struggling with my husband being a workaholic. I won’t go into the nature of his job for privacy reasons.. but it’s a demanding job, and he loves it. Every spare minute and opportunity he’s on his computer working. I nag him to help me with the kids because I feel like a single parent. He lives and breathes his job and I’m sick of it. Honestly, I can handle the lack of help in the house but I’m so lonely in my marriage. He works from home so he has access to his computer and office 24/6.
I’m really hurt and wondering what to do in this situation. To add, he’s a wonderful hubby and father minus the work. Every time we have major arguments about this it never ends well. So looking for effective tips to change this situation. Thanks!
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ellacoe




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 08 2022, 7:10 pm
This sounds like it is taking a real toll on you and your marriage. You mentioned that you have arguments about this. Perhaps instead of arguments, have conversations. Instead of telling him what you don't want, (that he work all the time), tell him what you do want. I.e I would like if we could spend some quality time together, it is important to me because ______, can we set aside Wednesday nights from 7-11 to spend time together no cell phones. Be specific, and frame it positively instead of negatively, frame it as a request, with the reason behind it, instead of a complaint.
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Mon, Aug 08 2022, 7:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I’m really struggling with my husband being a workaholic. I won’t go into the nature of his job for privacy reasons.. but it’s a demanding job, and he loves it. Every spare minute and opportunity he’s on his computer working. I nag him to help me with the kids because I feel like a single parent. He lives and breathes his job and I’m sick of it. Honestly, I can handle the lack of help in the house but I’m so lonely in my marriage. He works from home so he has access to his computer and office 24/6.
I’m really hurt and wondering what to do in this situation. To add, he’s a wonderful hubby and father minus the work. Every time we have major arguments about this it never ends well. So looking for effective tips to change this situation. Thanks!


I’m not sure you want to hear it but when someone is overly busy with work to this extent, they usually are trying to escape from some type of pain or dissatisfaction and are keeping themselves so busy that they barely have time to think about their emptiness,

Try to get him into therapy so he can look into what it is he’s trying to run away from.
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amother




Ebony
 

Post Mon, Aug 08 2022, 7:51 pm
My husband is the same way unfortunately Mad as many times as I ask him and we try to work on it he falls back in in those patterns it’s his way of escaping his anxiety
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yiddishmom




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 08 2022, 8:30 pm
Sounds somewhat familiar to me until my husband moved out and got his own office . Solved half the problem.

Good luck!
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amother




Mocha
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 5:14 pm
Here's Laura Doyle on a workaholic husband:

https://lauradoyle.org/blog/my.....olic/
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