I’m new here… do stores really run out of clothing months

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:25 pm

imaima wrote:

What age though? They were working out for us every now and then even with a teenager.
Now the adult collection keeps working out for an older teen because it’s just so cheap!

I have this issue from 6 years old and up toddlers and babies are super easy to shop for. My teens are short and nothing covers their knees or elbows.

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:28 pm

imaima wrote:

What age though? They were working out for us every now and then even with a teenager.
Now the adult collection keeps working out for an older teen because it’s just so cheap!

Till age 6ish. Then the dresses are too short, neck and sleeves aren't adequate. Lengthening a dress and adding a shell, costs the same as a tzenuis dress from local stores.

keym

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:33 pm

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

I also enjoyed matching/coordinating my kids when I had three little girls, but just pointing out that if you don't match your kids, you can pass down clothes to the next kids in line and therefore don't have to buy multiple new dresses for each child--which is even quicker, easier, and cheaper than getting each dress in three different sizes.

I mostly have boys. And I buy tottini shirts and children's place pants. So that's my experience.
But I really don't find that the stuff lasts enough after a season or two to hand it down. Especially the summer stuff
Mud, slush, rips.
If there's something that survives, yeah sure I'll hand it down so they don't only have matching.

And yeah, my boys wear matching. I walk into Tottini, but 2 of each shirt that I like and done. Call me gashmius.

I'm realizing though that I'm talking about weekday for active boys. Shabbos, they all insist on black pants and white shirts. The shirts definitely don't survive to be handed down.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:43 pm

amother [ Mimosa ] wrote:

No. That’s not the sore point. The sore point is that you’re saying that spending the time to find one dress and just buying it in 3 or 4 sizes for your 3 or 4 daughters, is more gashmiusdik than finding one dress and buying it for one daughter, then searching for another dress to buy for another daughter, then you still need to find 2 more dresses for your 2 other daughters. And now each daughter needs 3 more dresses. But Chas Veshalom to buy any of the same, because that’s gashmius. So basically you need to find 16 or 20 different dresses for your 4 daughters. Because all that searching is definitely ruchnius. As long as you don’t match your kids!

The sore point is that *nobody* is advertising the concept of matching because it's the easiest and must practical way. Instead the concept is to match your kids *for the sake of many other things* (more neat bringing happiness and many other things that have been stated here)
When you dare to call out the truth to say "enjoy your matching. It's not a crime. Just be aware that there is gashmius and there is ruchnius" people get highly offended.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:45 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

This post is quite literally filled with people saying how convenient it is.

imaima

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:50 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Tznius wise it's a whole production. Finding the one or two pieces that cover in the right places and are appropriate for shabbos, don't have offensive words and pictures etc..

I agree! However if you are ready to pay the prices quoted here, you can really shop high end department store and find anything.

Also, boys should be fine.

Xmas time, all the cheaper stores issue festive clothes. I would shop shabbes dresses and plain long sleeves (aka shells) around that time. This way O could have success in h&m.

imaima

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:56 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Please
Of course you shep nachas when your kids all rosy cheeked, with hair neatly combed/styled but still slightly wet, all gather in their cute clothes at the candle lighting. Bonus points if they are matching, it does look neater. Even though I go for color coordinated because I am sophisticated like that.

Why can’t it be gashmiyus elevated to ruchniyis because of shabbes?

Just as festive tableware for pessach that symbolizes am yisroel becoming a kli for kedusha?

Maybe we can finally proclaim that dressing our kids is hidur mitzvah of chinuch? (Yes please someone put an imamother hechsher on it!🙏🏻)

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:57 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

You are very rude.
Everyone is entitled to do what they choose to without being bullied for their decision. You're boasting on what a "better" person you are by not being into what you call gashmyos, by displaying awful middos.
And I'll say it again, shopping for matching clothing is NOT more gashmyos than shopping for any clothing. If something, it's less gashmyos because you spend less time and energy on shopping.
I fail to see how each kid in the family wearing a different dress is more ruchniyus than afew kids in the same family wearing the same dress. You are NOT a better person than me or others because you don't dress your kids matching. But your attitude, rudeness, and mockery towards others, does show what type of a person you are. Being rude and mocking other's is worse chinuch than buying matching clothing for kids.

amother

Tomato

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:00 pm

imaima wrote:

Yes! And don't forget the tznius and the eidelkeit of these matching clothes, and the joy it brings our children when they can look cute AND make Hashem proud. Definitely a hidur mitzvah.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:14 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

This post is quite literally filled with people saying how convenient it is.

And yet nobody is advertising that the concept is brilliant *because it's practical* No. Instead we have yearly threads about "where to shop, help I need to match my kids". Need.To.Match. You see the difference, right?

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:20 pm

imaima wrote:

Of course gashmius can become elevated because of Shabbes if it's lichvod Shabbes.
That's not the issue at all.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:23 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Oh I thought it was obvious that the masses who do it out of convenience just walk into the store and buy it. Not sure why you only look at thread titles and not comments, many on here said it was convenient.

keym

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:28 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Of course gashmius can become elevated because of Shabbes if it's lichvod Shabbes.
That's not the issue at all.

Do you feel that way about the Recipe section. When someone posts looking for a good recipe for chicken legs.
Do you respond that this is a pursuit of gashmius and a waste of time and energy to find the recipe find, the ingredients, prepare it? Do you think that a mother looking for new and fresh chicken recipes is taking away from the proper Chinuch?

Or do you shrug and say huh. My family is fine with just roasted every day. But if a fresh chicken recipe makes that amother happy, different strokes.

There's nothing essentially more gashmius about matching clothing, nice linen, or interesting chicken recipes. Yet some are on tge "approved" gashmius and some are not.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:34 pm

amother [ Eggplant ] wrote:

By now we all know that you think I'm rude but you are welcome to say it again if you like Smile

You are reading a lot into my posts. I have never claimed to be better than anyone else.
I stated the issue between gashmius and ruchnius. I stated the concept of ikar and tafel. Concepts that are among the core of yiddishkeit.
If you have the wish and need to judge what is worse (buying matching outfits vs my rudeness) then you are most welcome.

amother

Glitter

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:45 pm

Omg this thread is making me freak out.

Didnt read it all but it reminds of the fiction story in one of the magazine about all the women running to the shops in the bungalow colony!

If I shop before rosh hashono im considered early. Do shops even have stuff in now?
Uch I hate this mad rush before the seasons..
Gosh I feel v inadequate.

I dont care 2 hoots about matching.
As long as its nice and it fits.
Though as my daughter gets older its more like, as long as its tznius and thats it!

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:51 pm

keym wrote:

The core concept in yiddishkeit of so many is gashmius/ruchnius. When I said one needs to know the difference and when mentioning ikar/tafel people are ready to burn me at the stake so to say.
We cannot live without gashmius. Some have tried to picture me as the anti-gashmius person. That's far from the truth.
Yet my message which was blunt struck a raw core for some here.
People may call me rude as much as they want yet their reaction shows this IS a matter that causes them much discomfort.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:58 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

I feel like much of the freak out is in your head. People said you were rude. And you were. There is more to the Torah than gashmius. Things like speaking kindly, not shaming, not giving mussar incorrectly, not judging unfavorably… why is gashmius the main thing that concerns you? I don’t feel my life is steeped in gashmius so I don’t feel the need to remove the bit that is in my life. I do wonder why matching is what you view as the ultimate gashmius.

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:01 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

By now we all know that you think I'm rude but you are welcome to say it again if you like Smile

Why can't you say your opinion in a nice way?
And HOW is buying a different dress for each kid less gashmyos than just taking several sizes of each thing? It's so time consuming and not practical to make sure to not buy matching clothing. It takes me 5 minutes to place an online order for the same top in afew sizes. If I have to start taking something else for each kid, it just takes way too long. You're making it seem like it's the worst thing to dress kids matching. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it and it's NOT more gashmyos than dressing kids non matching.

Chayalle

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:02 pm

When my girls were little I often matched them. Often because if I walked into a store and found something suitable, it worked for both girls. And there often weren't tons of options that suited their (similar) complexions and figures.

As they got older, they refused to match. And then the problem was, we'd walk into a store and they both liked the same dress. And wanted it, but the other shouldn't get it, because that's so babyish and nerdy.

Ah the joys of raising two daughters of similar size. B"H they now do their own shopping, and I have one younger daughter to shop for who can get whatever suits her.