I’m new here… do stores really run out of clothing months

keym

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:03 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

The core concept in yiddishkeit of so many is gashmius/ruchnius. When I said one needs to know the difference and when mentioning ikar/tafel people are ready to burn me at the stake so to say.
We cannot live without gashmius. Some have tried to picture me as the anti-gashmius person. That's far from the truth.
Yet my message which was blunt struck a raw core for some here.
People may call me rude as much as they want yet their reaction shows this IS a matter that causes them much discomfort.

And yet my statement still stands.
You don't feel the need to dress your kids matching so you see matching as a gashmius thing going as far as commenting on Chinuch choices in a family an commenting that Gedolim would be horrified.

Personally I'm perfectly ok with the same baked chicken every day. I think that looking for new recipes is an excessive pursuit of gashmius, effecting the ruchniyos level of the house. Would it be appropriate for me to go on a thread asking for new recipes and start lecturing how you're steeped in gashmius, the Gedolim are satisfied with plain roast chicken, you're ruining your children.
No. It's not acceptable. It's hurtful and I should be called out, not double down.

Btw, in case anyone gets the wrong idea, I don't think looking for new recipes is excessive anything and I don't think kids are that easily ruined.

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:06 pm

We are all going in circles here. 10 people are telling Bnei brak that she is wrong about this matching being all about gashmius, and it definitely isn’t sending a chinuch message to the children, and bnei brak is telling these 10 people that it is the ultimate of gashmius and definitely sending the wrong chinuch message.
Kind of reminds me of that person who says my mother is terrible, she did this. My father is horrible, he did that. My grandfather, grandmother, neighbor, best friend, cousin, etc they’re all terrible.
When someone is like that, you usually know it’s she who is the problem.
So when you’re the only one going one way on the highway and everyone else is going the other, maybe look at it and say ok I was wrong. It’s ok. No one will bite you if you admit it. I promise Smile

Chayalle

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But this thread proves otherwise… everyone is saying if you need matching sizes you must shop now. What has this world come to?!

I dunno...I've seen my sister find matching for her 3 kids (two boys and a girl) at post-season sales.

(and it's very convenient to dress 3 active little ones alike, so that you can easily spot yours in the park.)

4g01o

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:15 pm

giftedmom wrote:

Last year on RH in 90 degrees my heart went out to all the little kids wearing wool and fleece. Mine were in summer clothes even though I do buy in advance and had their winter wardrobe. I always keep the summer stuff in their closets just in case it’s still hot on YT.

Yeah the weather doesn't know that it's yom tov Smile

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:24 pm

amother [ Mimosa ] wrote:

I am sorry to see that you haven't read my posts at all. I am not saying that matching is all about gashmius. I am saying that there is a core value in judaism regarding gashmius vs ruchnius and that a jew should preferably know the difference between them and recognize them as they are and not to confuse them. Of course you can and should enjoy gashmius. It needs to be said: you can enjoy both gashmius and ruchnius but you cannot enjoy both of them at the very same time and moment.
Basic BY values. That's all.

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:27 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

But buying matching isn't more gashmyos than buying clothing in general.
Buying matching is not bad chinuch.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:29 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Where do you get any of this from anything anyone wrote? That's a really rude assumption about people you know nothing about and who didn't indicate any of this in the post.

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:38 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

You clearly said that if my kids are matching, it sends the wrong chinuch message to them and to anyone else who sees them. If you wait a minute, I’ll find that post and reply to it so you can see what you said, because it seems you forgot.

According to you, if I want to buy 5 dresses for each of my 4 daughters, I have to find 20 different dresses, because if they match one day it’s sending the wrong message to them and everyone else in the world

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:40 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Seems a hit a raw nerve and rubbed someone the wrong way, didn't I Smile

We all have our personal pleasures. By all means please do match your kids as much as you like. Just *know* you do send a strong message of chinuch to your children and to all of those who see them.

Found it.

4g01o

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:09 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

How do you find tznius clothing there? Nothing covers my kids knees, elbows or collar bones. What am I missing?

My only daughter just turned 6, so I've had success from the non Jewish stores.
I've bought a couple of dresses and outfits for my son from Jewish stores before but I can get away without for now.
My older boys wear suits and I get them shirts from a Jewish store that we have local to me, but those are always well stocked.

I understand that when my daughter gets older I'll have to try the jewish stores for her.
It sounds like op's children are younger, it's just the impression that I got. I might be wrong...

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:11 pm

amother [ Mimosa ] wrote:

You are making up things with your current example. Nowhere have I stated the number if dresses you need to find. Please don't make up false statements and brand them as mine.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:12 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

You are making up things with your current example. Nowhere have I stated the number if dresses you need to find. Please don't make up false statements and brand them as mine.

If she can’t match them then yes she needs many different ones

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:30 pm

Fab4 wrote:

Wait, why does your daughter need more dresses if she not matching. I'm just confused Smile

I was saying if I have 4 daughters. They each need 5 dresses. If they match, it’s sending a strong (not wrong, strong 🙄) chinuch message to them and anyone who sees them. So therefore I can’t just find one cute dress and get it in 4 sizes. I have to find 5 different ones for each of my 4 daughters.
And that answers you too, Bnei brak. You’re right, you didn’t say that outright but that’s what you were saying without saying those words. Because Chas vechalila to match my kids

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:33 pm

Fab4 wrote:

Wait, why does your daughter need more dresses if she not matching. I'm just confused Smile

Let's do the math. If I have 4 daughters and they each need 5 weekday dresses, if I won't buy 4 of the same 5 dresses in different sizes, how many different style dresses do I need? Sounds like a giant headache frankly. Sometimes my kids match other times they don't. I do whatever makes everyone happy because I don't want to spend extra time in the store.

amother

Blueberry

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:53 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

I presume with 5 dresses some of the 20 dresses will be in a good enough condition to hand down?
So not so many to buy next season !

4g01o

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:53 pm

amother [ Mimosa ] wrote:

I was thinking of matching just for shabbos and Yom Tov. But each child doesn't need MORE dresses if they're different from her sisters
Scratching Head

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:55 pm

amother [ Blueberry ] wrote:

I presume with 5 dresses some of the 20 dresses will be in a good enough condition to hand down?
So not so many to buy next season !

Well the cheap brands tend not to last more than a season in my experience so we don't really have anything to pass down.

4g01o

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:55 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

OK I get it lol. You'd need to find more different types of dresses, but the girl doesn't need more dresses if they're not matching
LOL. Older girls can shop for themselves anyway so there's that headache gone. Plus they might not want to match their younger sister once they get older....