I’m new here… do stores really run out of clothing months

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:26 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Seems a hit a raw nerve and rubbed someone the wrong way, didn't I Smile

We all have our personal pleasures. By all means please do match your kids as much as you like. Just *know* you do send a strong message of chinuch to your children and to all of those who see them.

Nope. I don’t match my kids nor do I shop early or buy expensive things. You know your whole attitude here is not in line with Torah. There is no way you think treating people this way is the correct way according to the Torah. Just because this is not your thing, you still spend plenty of time on gashmius.

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:29 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Fine. Call it self care joy or happiness or anything you like.
What makes you think I don't understand the pleasure of matching your kids? All I am is saying that a spade to be called a spade. By all means do take pleasure in your matched kids. Simply be aware of the chinuch message you are conveying (which is a The sore point in this discussion, isn't it Smile

Having bad middos and bashing people for making different choices than you do, is definitely bad chinuch and doesn't make you a better person than those that like to match their children. Matching childrens clothing is not against the torah. Having bad middos and mocking others, is against the torah. I don't know why you think being rude to others and mocking people, makes you a better person than those that match their childrens clothing. It does not. As long as it doesn't hurt you, live and let live.

amother

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:32 am

amother [ Eggplant ] wrote:

Having had middos and bashing people for making different choices than you do, is definitely bad chinuch and doesn't make you a better person than those that like to match their children. Matching childrens clothing is not against the torah. Having bad middos and bashing others is against the torah. I don't know why you think being rude to others and mocking people, makes you a better person than those that match their childrens clothing. It does not. As long as it doesn't hurt you, live and let live.

Gosh ladies, she’s not bashing!! Just letting us know that it’s ridiculous to go crazy over this and she’s right! We all have what to work on…. Ideally I shouldn’t care but I do. That’s all

amother

Ginger

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:34 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

What negative Chinuch message am I sending exactly?

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:35 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Let's call a spade a spade. She's pretending matching kids is what's wrong with the world. She's being demeaning and rude. She's not stating another opinion. It's not personal for me as I don't do any of these things and I'm having a hard time reading her rude posts.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:35 am

amother [ Tomato ] wrote:

I'm fairly sure you're trolling and are looking to hit raw nerves and rub people the wrong way. Anyone who tries to claim that little things like matching sends a strong message of chinuch to others' kids has to know they're being ridiculous.

I am certainly not trolling. On the contrary.
Some time ago Mishpacha magazine in fact had a question about this, I think it was addressed to a female expert in chinuch and family related matters. It was about 3 sisters who always were matched until the two oldest hit a froth spurt and now she couldn't match them anymore and the youngest was having a hard time to understand why she couldn't dress the way her sisters now did.
If I find the article I will try to post it here. The reply was refreshingly honest to put it mildly.

amother

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:36 am

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

So skip ‘‘em right over and move right along…
Back to the topic at hand- ridiculous that the stores sell out straight from the boxes At wits end

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:45 am

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Noone is forcing you to read what I write.
And no, I am not pretending anything and matching kids is not at fault in the world. And yes I have clearly stated my opinion.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:48 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Noone is forcing you to read what I write.
And no, I am not pretending anything and matching kids is not at fault in the world. And yes I have clearly stated my opinion.

I'd love for you to explain why caring about what utensils are used for eating is less gashmius than this?

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:49 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No, she's not just letting us know. She's mocking and putting others down. She can state her opinion in a respectful manner, which is not happening.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:53 am

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

What do you know what I spend on gashmius? Please do tell me.
I am quite surprised how touchy all of you are when someone dares to speak in plain words.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:55 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

What do you know what I spend on gashmius? Please do tell me.
I am quite surprised how touchy all of you are when someone dares to speak in plain words.

Is that what you call, calling out rudeness and put downs? Touchy? Are you never wrong? When 10 people respond the same way to you maybe you said something wrong? Or is it just that everyone is touchy and you are perfect?

amother

Ginger

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:57 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

What do you know what I spend on gashmius? Please do tell me.
I am quite surprised how touchy all of you are when someone dares to speak in plain words.

I can only speak for myself but yes, when people speculate on my life's priorities and assume I'm giving my children unhealthy Chinuch because of one single gashmiyus decision that I've made, it gets me really riled up. Like do you know anything about me? Nope. Do you know what kind of mother I am? Nope. What kind of community member I am? Nope. What kind of lifestyle and priorities I have? Nope. But you see my matching kids and already branded me as "shallow, spends way too many hours worrying about clothes and fashion, raising kids to value fashionable clothing above all ruchniyus pursuits, doesn't invest anything in avodas hashem"

So yeah, your posts are making me pretty "touchy"

amother

Green

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:58 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Please do tell me what part is ridiculous and why.
It's *nice* with matching outfit. Nice but in my world it isn't happiness. Do match your kids 24/7 from top to toe by all means! You may twist and turn your points like a pretzel but I please don't try to tell me it's self care or happiness. Frankly I recognize BS when I see it Smile

Different things bring different people happiness.
It’s pretty simple to understand.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 11:59 am

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

I'd love for you to explain why caring about what utensils are used for eating is less gashmius than this?

In my world its called table manners.
Not sure what it has to do with this thread's topic.

GLUE

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:02 pm

amother [ Green ] wrote:

Different things bring different people happiness.
It’s pretty simple to understand.

I agree with this statement,

There are things that I do that some people in my life think is crazy, but I do it for me.

There are things in other people live that I would never do because it would cause me to much stress.

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:04 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

What do you know what I spend on gashmius? Please do tell me.
I am quite surprised how touchy all of you are when someone dares to speak in plain words.

You are very rude & judgemental. You're mocking people and being disrespectful, then you're "surprised" that people are touchy. That's not nice. You can say your opinion on the matter with mocking people and putting others down and calling out on their chinuch. Mocking others for having difficulty priorities than you do, does not make you a better person.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:05 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

In my world its called table manners.
Not sure what it has to do with this thread's topic.

Being hung up on which utensil needs to be used for which food is not table manners. Table manners is eating neatly and cleanly, eating with your mouth closed and using any utensils and napkins. Anything past that is just buying into non jewish cultures and being absorbed in gashmius. I think it matters because you aren't presenting yourself honestly.

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:08 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Let's not mix other threads into this one. That's not nice.

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:15 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Seems a hit a raw nerve and rubbed someone the wrong way, didn't I Smile

We all have our personal pleasures. By all means please do match your kids as much as you like. Just *know* you do send a strong message of chinuch to your children and to all of those who see them.

I’m sorry but that’s the most insane thing I’ve ever read on Imamother. And trust me, I’ve ready pretty insane things!
Matching kids clothing is not sending a chinuch message! I go shopping, I find a dress I like, so I get it in sizes for my 3 daughters. Seriously!!! Do you just go into the store and buy whatever you see first because you don’t want to buy into this gashmius of having nice clothing? Because the other option I see is going into the store, finding a nice dress, but you can only buy it for one kid or it’s sending a strong chinuch message. So you then need to spend even more time finding another dress for your order kid.
Sorry but u make no sense whatsoever. You’re more steeped in gashmius that way