I’m new here… do stores really run out of clothing months

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:19 pm

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

I can only speak for myself but yes, when people speculate on my life's priorities and assume I'm giving my children unhealthy Chinuch because of one single gashmiyus decision that I've made, it gets me really riled up. Like do you know anything about me? Nope. Do you know what kind of mother I am? Nope. What kind of community member I am? Nope. What kind of lifestyle and priorities I have? Nope. But you see my matching kids and already branded me as "shallow, spends way too many hours worrying about clothes and fashion, raising kids to value fashionable clothing above all ruchniyus pursuits, doesn't invest anything in avodas hashem"

So yeah, your posts are making me pretty "touchy"

You choose to take it personally I think.
By all means do match all your like. No problem.
We all have our material pleasures. I wanted to emphasize that gashmius and ruchnius are two opponents that usually don't merge except for mitzvot. As matching isn't a mitzvah it's therefore pure gashmius. Take pleasure all your want. Just be aware of that it's gashmius. That's all.

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:24 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

I hope you have no couch, only a hard bed, no food other than what you absolutely need to survive; bread and water. Because otherwise it’s all gashmius

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:25 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

. I wanted to emphasize that gashmius and ruchnius are two opponents that usually don't merge except for mitzvot. As matching isn't a mitzvah it's therefore pure gashmius. .

I need to break this down. Do we only do mitzvohs all day? Who said anything about it being a mitvah?

That being said wearing tznius clothing actually is a mitzvah and if I find 3 of it for my girls and then don't spend frivolous time frantically searching for 2 other dresses just so that they don't match, I think I did another mitzvah. Simcha is also a mitzvah so when my kids face light up because they love matching I did another mitzvah. And then when I have more patience and happiness to spread because I feel happy looking at my pretty matching daughters I did another mitzvah. Seems to me I can do so many mitzvohs by matching my kids. Since I don't actually match them I have now convinced myself it's the better way.

( side point what's the mitzvah or ruchnius reading these posts on here? We should all be baking challah or visiting the sick instead )

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:25 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Buying non matching clothing isn't a mitzvah either. I'm sure your kids are dressed in clothing. Buying matching clothing, is not more gashmyos than buying clothing in general. It takes less time and effort to buy the same dress for all kids than to buy every kid a different dress.

amother

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:28 pm

amother [ Eggplant ] wrote:

Buying clothing isn't a mitzvah either. I'm sure your kids are dressed in clothing. Buying matching clothing, is not more gashmyos than buying clothing in general. It takes less time and effort to buy the same dress for all kids than to buy every kid a different dress.

But this thread proves otherwise… everyone is saying if you need matching sizes you must shop now. What has this world come to?!

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:30 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Is that what you call, calling out rudeness and put downs? Touchy? Are you never wrong? When 10 people respond the same way to you maybe you said something wrong? Or is it just that everyone is touchy and you are perfect?

We all know nobody's perfect, correct?
It's interesting that when one points out such a basic thing as differentiate between gashmius and ruchnius everyone is up in arms, especially if one mentions kids and clothes. Such a sore point in the imamother world, right?

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But this thread proves otherwise… everyone is saying if you need matching sizes you must shop now. What has this world come to?!

Unfortunately, if you need any sizes, it's better to shop now. I've been burnt in the past. I never shop in advance & lately I couldn't find stuff for my 1 boy. Stores were out of sizes in general. I don't have who to match him with, and I had a hard time finding sizes. The stores have created a panic around shopping and I can't handle it.

amother

Jade

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:32 pm

Lakewood gets more populated each year with more stores opening up and people on diffrent Schedules. This alone that many mothers here are saying they shop closer to Yom Tov. should put your mind at peace that there will be clothes left when shopping closer to Yom Tov. Just the opposite actually before Yom Tov. stores offer night hours. Some seasons because of scheduling and due dates I shopped earlier Other years I found it a huge advantage to shop later. Clothing fit better when I bought later. Also even with sizing more stores more places to find your size. I will be buying closer to Yom Tov this season happy to help stop the mob mentality, and revert back to the calm shopping of years ago. Clothing stores like to make the mom scene. It gets people shopping more people to feel peer pressure to shop by them. and makes people buy more impulsively? Everyone will have Yom Tov clothing even after Yom Tov. Exception is juvenile planet. They started getting better. Intresting I noticed many customers that I knew that are young parent with husbands students at BMG. I wonder why?

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But this thread proves otherwise… everyone is saying if you need matching sizes you must shop now. What has this world come to?!

Logically if you want multiple sizes of something you need to make sure to get it early. Otherwise there is plenty left but you need to choose from the sizes they have. Are you planning on matching your kids? If not don't sweat it, you can shop whenever.

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:33 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

You can point it out. It depends how it's pointed out.
The right way to point out your opinion is, doing so without mocking or putting others down. If you stand by and are confident with your opinion, you shouldn't feel the need to put others down.
And, Kids wearing matching clothing is not more gashmyus than kids wearing clothing.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:33 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Like we all said no one cares about pointing it out. It's your attitude we take issue with, not the concept.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:35 pm

I also enjoyed matching/coordinating my kids when I had three little girls, but just pointing out that if you don't match your kids, you can pass down clothes to the next kids in line and therefore don't have to buy multiple new dresses for each child--which is even quicker, easier, and cheaper than getting each dress in three different sizes.

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:35 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

No. That’s not the sore point. The sore point is that you’re saying that spending the time to find one dress and just buying it in 3 or 4 sizes for your 3 or 4 daughters, is more gashmiusdik than finding one dress and buying it for one daughter, then searching for another dress to buy for another daughter, then you still need to find 2 more dresses for your 2 other daughters. And now each daughter needs 3 more dresses. But Chas Veshalom to buy any of the same, because that’s gashmius. So basically you need to find 16 or 20 different dresses for your 4 daughters. Because all that searching is definitely ruchnius. As long as you don’t match your kids!

amother

Tomato

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:39 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So skip ‘‘em right over and move right along…
Back to the topic at hand- ridiculous that the stores sell out straight from the boxes At wits end

No only certain stores sell out straight from the boxes. And I don't shop those stores because coincidentally they are also the high end stores in town, and I can't afford them. I don't begrudge those that do shop there though. And others shouldn't begrudge my kids wearing matching from Tottini/Kidichic/Sage/Junee. Everyone should live their own life as best they can.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:58 pm

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

That's what I thought too. However "passing down clothes" could be a naughty word on imamother. Totally muktze.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:02 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

That's what I thought too. However "passing down clothes" could be a naughty word on imamother. Totally muktze.

Why the constant mockery? What's your goal? To shame people? I would truly like to understand you better.

imaima

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But I feel like you can only shop in non Jewish stores if you know how to shop… otherwise your in for a long ride.

What does it mean?
I literally cannot imagine what the big deal would be

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:11 pm

imaima wrote:

What does it mean?
I literally cannot imagine what the big deal would be

Tznius wise it's a whole production. Finding the one or two pieces that cover in the right places and are appropriate for shabbos, don't have offensive words and pictures etc..

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:18 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Why the constant mockery? What's your goal? To shame people? I would truly like to understand you better.

Why the constant focus on who says it instead of the message itself?

imaima

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:22 pm

amother [ Eggplant ] wrote:

When girls reach a certain age, zara/h&m & most department stores doesn't work for them anymore.

What age though? They were working out for us every now and then even with a teenager.
Now the adult collection keeps working out for an older teen because it’s just so cheap!