S/O what did you get for YT thread

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amother

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 7:04 am

For those that are pre pregnancy one year
Pregnant the next year
Postpartum the next
Losing weight the year after (but you still don’t fit in the pre pregnancy clothes..)
Pregnant after that ect

How do you get away without buying new clothes?

DreamerForever

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 7:13 am

amother OP wrote:

I feel like I live on another planet. In the 2 communities I have lived in everyone I know gets at least 1 outfit for YT. And no, not wealthy communities.

We grew up getting new clothes for yt even if it was from Target. My mother who rarely buys herself anything will get for YT. We were a Kollel family in a tight budget. We got lots of hand-me-downs but for YT there was something new.

The few frum stores in my small oot community are packed before yt. FTR I grew up in Lakewood and what goes in there Erev YT nowadays is insanity BUT the people in my community still get themself something new. Maybe not a whole wardrobe… but something.

There are hundreds of threads about kids clothes. Are we martyrs we that we only but for our children and never for ourselves? Or is it the same 10 people? Or are people afraid to admit what they got because of the holy “I got a brisket” responses? Is everyone legitimately poor or don’t care about such things? (No, we disproved it already in the how much do you make threads and the childrens fashion threads.)

So what’s going on?

I agree with your surprise at that thread, and judging from the large amount of people I am seeing in the local shops, it cant be true that so many people aren't buying stuff Confused

.

I used to be so overwhelmed with the kids' stuff and cooking that I would arrive to yom tov with nothing for myself. And when Yom tov arrived and my kids were dressed to perfection, and I was in an old robe, it would really drag me down... It made me feel even more unworthy than I already felt.

Lately I try to get myself something less close to yom tov- as the decision making gets too hard for me when I'm stressed and I have less headspace. Even when it's just a new snood, or a piece of costume jewellery-- it helps put a spring in my step.

This year I bought few new tops and a pair of shoes for yom tov; but when I read the first few responses on that thread, I was too afraid to get judged.

Same way I didnt post on the bathing together thread that my girls bathe together, 'cos I didnt wanna get the 'Eeeews'... Surprised

Last edited by DreamerForever on Mon, Sep 19 2022, 8:25 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Copper

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 7:39 am

imaima wrote:

I have learned that in order to have simcha on yomtov, men eat meat and drink wine and women het new clothing.
Also, since we can have all fruit all year long usually, it is safer to get a new piece of clothing for shehechiyanu on the second day of Rosh ha Shana

If you are a man who is vegetarian and/or teetotal, it wouldn’t enhance Simcha to eat meat or drink wine. Similarly, a woman who doesn’t care for clothes, may not have her YT enhanced by buying them for the sake of it.

imaima

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 7:49 am

amother Copper wrote:

So what?
The premise of the thread is that OP has always known that people get new clothes for chagim. My reply supports this idea since it is rooted in the mesora. People who don’t want to get new clothes can do as they please but they shouldn’t put down those who do things with clear sources.

I like shopping so I am makpid on these halachot Smile

imaima

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 7:53 am

amother Copper wrote:

It isn’t Simchas YT if you loathe clothes shopping either online or in person and already feel you have too many clothes as I say above. In fact, the pressure to buy new clothes (threads like these) do the opposite of Simchas YT for me. The focus on externals to me for Elul makes me despair.

Well it’s actually dh‘s job to give you a gift.
You can just have him give you a piece of jewelry
So you dont have to shop

amother

Ultramarine

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 7:59 am

amother OP wrote:

Really really no one?

It’s not a thing in every community I don’t know why that’s so shocking.

amother

Hosta

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 8:20 am

My husband didn't grow up with this at all. We are very frugal and it's not something he ever understood. He hardly spends money on himself, neither does his mother.
So I buy things for myself. When money is tight, I push off certain purchases and get them in honor of Yom tov. For example I need new slippers so I bought them for Yom tov.

amother

Teal

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 8:25 am

I bought myself the newest iPhone with my YT clothes money TMI

So there’s that lol.

Might buy something cheap, but I have dresses I’ve never worn before deep in my closet, so it’ll be like buying something new LOL

amother

Natural

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 8:30 am

Just curious what’s the original thread? Don’t see it..

amother

Lightblue

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 8:31 am

amother Ultramarine wrote:

It’s not a thing in every community I don’t know why that’s so shocking.

Exactly. Plus my friends and I don’t sit around discussing clothes anyway. I see my friends in shul on shabbos and YT and we talk about anything else: work, kids, husband lol but clothes are not something we sit around talking about. So while it’s possible that my friends get new stuff I wouldn’t know!

amother

Lightblue

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 8:34 am

imaima wrote:

I don’t actually eat much fruit during the year. Not a fruit lover. The new fruit shehecheyanu is always a sure thing for me

mizle10

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 9:06 am

amother Copper wrote:

I said this on the other thread. It doesn't need to be clothes. A new book, slippers, chocolates.. one year I got a new rug lol. Anything that would slightly enhance your simchas YT.

mizle10

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 9:07 am

amother OP wrote:

Wow. I guess we do live in different planets. I’m impressed. Not bashing Chas v shalom.

Why is that impressive? It's literally brought down in gemara to do this.

amother

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 9:15 am

mizle10 wrote:

Why is that impressive? It's literally brought down in gemara to do this.

Because that means it’s a community where Gamshmiut is not a focus unlike the communities I’m familiar with where clothing is a big topic.

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 9:16 am

Op, how do you know that every single person in your community buy something new?

I would tell someone if it came up in conversation but I dont advertise these things.
You never know who would love to buy something new but cant, or people who are really struggling to find something that fots.

Id hate to flaunt what I have in front of others.

amother

Magenta

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 9:16 am

amother OP wrote:

That's basically me, maybe add in 1 more pregnancy 😅
But yes, I did not get any new clothes because I cannot find anything that fits me. And I'm bust with my kids and life and it's hard to find hours to shop. So yea I'm left with basically no clothes again. Who knows, maybe after reading this thread it'll entice me to somehow find the time, money, and then hopefully the right style clothes, to buy something new for myself.

behappy2

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 9:29 am

I try to get myself something new every Yom Tov, even if it's a $15 necklace or a new snood.

I think some ppl wear martyrdom as a badge. I think everyone deserves and should get something new even if it's not a whole outfit or robe.

I can definitely see that not everyone needs a new outfit for every Yom Tov. I definitely don't.

Also my kids I get new when they need. Sometimes boys don't grow enough and fit into pants/shirts from half a year ago. That's fine.

amother

Banana

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 9:32 am

behappy2 wrote:

I'm not being a martyr. I absolutely hate shopping. I cannot even begin to describe how much I despise it.

BH my size basically stays the same between pregnancies, and I keep maternity clothes from pregnancy to pregnancy.

I'm just not the kind of person who enjoys clothing and jewelry and dressing up.

amother

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 9:39 am

amother Periwinkle wrote:

Because
1. It’s THE topic of conversation
2. I see everyone in the shops
3. There’s a new outfit every week…

amother

Mon, Sep 19 2022, 9:39 am

amother Magenta wrote:

So then what exactly do you wear?

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