Can someone please point me in the right direction?

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:02 pm

We have a 10 year old boy who is, BH super super smart. He also has some ADHD behaviors, which may or may not be ADHD.
Right now, the biggest issue is that he is struggling with executive functioning.
-he forgets to brush his teeth
-he forgets to put his clothes or pajamas in the hamper
-he forgets to take things he needs to school or bring them home

These are just some examples. He is in an enrichment class in school, but is on the verge of being sent back to the regular class because he keeps forgetting his things. I made him a check list, but I’m not in school with him so I can’t remind him in school. Then you also have the extras that don’t go on the list- like bring something for a siyum, or for a class game, etc.
How can I help him improve? This is going to be a major problem for him down the road, both in school and as an adult. I am not opposed to meds, but my husband is. Would meds even help specifically for executive functioning? Would a therapist? What kind of therapist?
I thought I had it all under control, but apparently not only do I not, but I don’t even know where to turn!! I feel like I’m drowning. I feel like having him removed from this class is going to be brutal for him, in more ways than one. And it’s not like removing him will solve the problem anyway, because he will have the same issue in the regular class….
I need a hug, and a coffee….
All tips or advice welcome. Thanks!

naomi2

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:12 pm

You already determined the problem. Now you could research how to strengthen executive functioning skills and memory.

amother

Ebony

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:14 pm

This falls under executive functioning. Might be worth working with an OT on it

#BestBubby

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:16 pm

Child should have several small notepads (in case he loses them) and pens.

Child should be taught to write notes to himself what to bring, take home, etc.

Do not rescue child from his mistakes.

If he is sent back to regular class, maybe that will motivate him to improve.

mha3484

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:21 pm

I have a son like this he will be 12 in a few months. I have been systematically teaching him since he started school how to be an organized person. His teachers also work with him on it. What kind of help is available in his school that you can access? I found you have to see it as skills he lacks and then teach him or have a therapist teach him them. Go one by one. For my son medicine is not optional. It makes a huge difference.

gootlfriends

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:37 pm

Use charts and signs with lists on the wall. Thats what we did for my daughter when she was 6/7. She makes the lists now. At 11 years old. We made it part of her habits. We also medicated her after first grade which really helped.

amother

Cognac

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 3:00 pm

I would first get him evaluated to know if it is ADHD.

amother

Yolk

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 3:00 pm

The behavior you describe is pretty typical for many, many 10 years olds. They would rather play than do all the boring stuff they have to do on a daily basis!
I'm not saying you shouldn't try to help him but really don't panic!
Lists definitely help. For some children pictures work better.
Have him evaluated asap to know which are his strengths and weaknesses, and for adhd. Then go from there.

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 3:07 pm

naomi2 wrote:

You already determined the problem. Now you could research how to strengthen executive functioning skills and memory.

This is what I was hoping people could help me with….tips, and/or names of therapists.

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 3:08 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

This falls under executive functioning. Might be worth working with an OT on it

What would an OT do with him?

imasinger

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 3:58 pm

First, accurate diagnosis, which may allow insurance to cover therapies.

Next, recognize that EF skills, like any other skills, can be taught. It takes time, effort, and energy, both for the kid and whoever is doing the teaching.

You can reward checklists that are checked and completed. Consider building the habit with a morning or evening checklist that may carry over to school time. Can you involve a rebbe in monitoring whether he has written down the homework?

Medication may help with focus, but it's not the right answer for everyone.

You can also model EF skills. Let him see you making and using checklists, talk about awareness of tasks, keeping track of time, etc.

It's good you're thinking about this now. Hatzlacha!

amother

DarkPurple

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 4:18 pm

https://handsonapproaches.com/.....mmit/ Wonderful tips!