S/O Why the doona hate?

amother

Dahlia

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 2:17 am

amother NeonBlue wrote:

Again, is she hurting anyone?

She's most certainly welcome to do what she wants.

I'm just objecting to calling her "supermom" for it. A, because this isn't supermoming. B, because it sets unrealistic and unnecessary and unhealthy expectations for women striving to be supermom, that this is how to do it. C, because we need to be saving the title "supermom" for when it really is deserved, instead of cheapening the title by using it in these kinds of scenarios.

Ema of 5

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 9:21 am

amother NeonBlue wrote:

Or she could prefer to do it this way… why is it your business? Is she hurting anyone?

(Btw some babies fall asleep and don’t want to be disturbed, some people need more space in shopping cart than car seat would allow, some people have back issues and can’t wear babies, gosh you must be harsh to live near!)

This comment should have been directed at the person who asked what should the mother have done. My comment wasn’t intended to imply that this is what she MUST do, but rather was just answering a question.
Also thanks for the bolded, it’s much appreciated…. 🙄

flowerpower

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 9:42 am

No one hates the Doona more than me. It’s over used and over abused in the frum world. Many that use it as a regular carriage don’t even use a car. The kid lays in one position and can’t move in there. There is no place to put bags. Most people use it until the kids goes to preschool. The only people using it should be those going in and out of the car all day.

amother

Mocha

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 9:58 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

She can put the car seat inside the back of the shopping cart, or she can wear the baby….

So the toddler is in the front of the shopping cart and a big car seat in the back? Where do the groceries go?? Some people have back issues and can't wear the baby. Some people prefer not to wake up the sleeping baby to go sleeping.

amother

Mocha

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 10:00 am

amother Dahlia wrote:

Some moms may be a supermom for taking two babies shopping at the same time. You have no idea what a supermom is for each individual. Instead of making fun of someone who is pushing a doona and a shopping cart, why don't you look for the positive in what they are doing.

amother

Olive

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 10:04 am

amother Mocha wrote:

Exactly. 'Some People'. It's not 'All People'.

That's the point posters are trying to make. When 'All People' need something regardless of the circumstances, it points to something else rather than an actual need or benefit. When everyone must have that very same thing, even though it can serve to their (or their baby's) detriment, then that's the problem.

The Doona was designed to work for a specific set of circumstances. It's telling how many people are coming up with all kinds of rationalizations for other scenarios. It's great for some, but for others it's nothing more than a status item to keep up with the community's conformity mindset.

Ema of 5

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 10:07 am

amother Mocha wrote:

Groceries go around the infant seat. Again, I didn’t say this is what she MUST do, the question was what should she do, so I offered suggestions.

amother

Daisy

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 10:13 am

amother Dahlia wrote:

I haven't really seen anything good on Facebook Marketplace in Israel, I only see for outside Israel. But if it works for her why not.

There are also lots of mom and pop shops that sell baby gear and would probably be more willing to bargain a price than the big chains are.

Probably location dependent within Israel. I've done well with Marketplace. But ya mom and pop shops or just get something reasonable price at a bigger store.

amother

Mocha

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 10:27 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

Groceries go around the infant seat. Again, I didn’t say this is what she MUST do, the question was what should she do, so I offered suggestions.

There isn't much room around a car seat in a shopping cart. People need to stop judging others choices. You don't like a doona don't use it. Why do you care if others do?

mommy12

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 10:33 am

GLUE wrote:

About 10 years ago one of my neighbors had a toddler car seat that could be turned into a stroller(it did look somewhat a little like a doona)

She did say it was not to practical because it was very hard to turn it into a stroller with the kid inside, she only brought it because she went on airplanes a lot and that was the most practical way to take a toddler car seat.

I don't know if they still make it or what it is called, maybe try to google it.

We borrowed one of those from my neighbor about 11 year ago when we traveled by plane with a toddler. I think it was called a sit and stroll but I could be remembering wrong. It was really helpful but I do recall it being harder to convert when he was sleeping in it.

Ema of 5

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 11:48 am

amother Mocha wrote:

There isn't much room around a car seat in a shopping cart. People need to stop judging others choices. You don't like a doona don't use it. Why do you care if others do?

I’m not judging anyone, if you want a doona get a doona, what do I care? A question was posed, I answered it. Seems to me like you only want one answer….

amother

Brown

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 12:04 pm

amother Freesia wrote:

I post about not using car seats after expiration date all the time. Don’t do it, you are risking your kid’s life. It can fail in the event of a car accident. There is no hate, you either love it or hate it. I also don’t like that people use it as a stroller and keep their kids in it for long periods of time. It’s not good or safe for a baby to always be in it. It’s supposed to be used for short car rides. A baby must be taken out of any car seat every 2 hours to prevent blood clots, even on long car rides.

Not blood clots. It’s potential positional airway obstruction. I don’t like them because they’re too short. I’m not going to make myself uncomfortable because something is stylish. I’m not frugal either. I have a Bugaboo Fox and a Bee. And I previously had a Silver Cross Wave as well. I love nice strollers and nice car seats. I just don’t like the Doona- or the fact that people don’t consider car seat safety with it ‘because it’s just a stroller’.

amother

Dandelion

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 12:14 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

She can put the car seat inside the back of the shopping cart, or she can wear the baby….

It’s a shame baby wearing isn’t done here in BP….

Ema of 5

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 12:34 pm

amother Dandelion wrote:

It’s a shame baby wearing isn’t done here in BP….

It would definitely make things a lot easier, that’s for sure!! I don’t go to BP, but I’ve heard. Narrow aisles, strollers have to stay in the front, overcrowded stores with not a lot of space….baby wearing would definitely help in all of those situations.

amother

Lilac

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 12:38 pm

amother Violet wrote:

Mandr remembers the "olden days" when you would put the car seat in the cart and still have room for groceries.

Not enough room once the doonas in.

I’ve seen people put the doona in the cart. I definitely think it’s more practical than pushing both a cart and a doona

amother

Lilac

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 12:39 pm

amother Brown wrote:

Not blood clots. It’s potential positional airway obstruction.

Exactly. Why do so few people understand this. It’s so dangerous.

amother

Mocha

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 12:57 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

Exactly. Why do so few people understand this. It’s so dangerous.

This danger is not exclusive to doonas. It's all car seats. And when the graco snap n go was super popular people used to use it like a regular stroller too.

amother

Freesia

Fri, Oct 07 2022, 1:13 pm

sbil wrote:

I'm surprised no one mentioned that a baby develops a doona head!!! Where the back of the head gets flattened out from the way the carseat is reclined.

It’s called a flat head and happens for overuse of any car seat. I’ve seen it happen from babysitters keeping babies in a snap and go too