S/o Why need a filter?

amother

Bluebonnet

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 11:09 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

I know of a website of a frum organization that was not renewed (they changed their domain name and let the old one lapse) that was bought by some foreign entities who decided to use it for pretty explicit matter.
I stumbled upon it by typing in the old url.

It's extremely naive to think that no one will ever stumble upon filth.

I brought this up earlier. I accidently hit one number off when dialing a phone number years ago, and ended up with a s-x hotline on the other end. Now what? Do I disable my landline phone? Do I install a filter which I will now have to route all my phone calls through, just because of one accident?

If it happens, you do the same thing I did. I banged down the phone - you just shut down the site. Though I do question your story to be honest. Most filth sites follow the laws in place - meaning they have a frontpage without explicit images and ask you to verify your age before entry. The chances that a previous domain name will lead to a filth site plus that site will be an illegal one is very very low.

Despite what our leaders lead us to believe, the American society doesn't want filth easily accessible either. Hence the reasons there are laws in place for actual filth sites. So either we have a different definition of filth, or what you're describing is rather sites that touch upon our sensitivities. Many of those sensitivities are on display in NYC on the streets and in many shops that we frequent. Do we stop going to those stores just because they have inappropriate things on display, or do we just quickly bypass them.

Again, all these posts demonstrate one thing - that we sorely need education how to navigate the internet.

amother

Hibiscus

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 11:20 am

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

Yes. Good point. Mentioned on another thread was that what people view as inappropriate may vary.
I'm not talking about actual p*rn or sites that state they are for 18 years or older, more like discussion sites, like reddit, which may not have "tznius" discussions going on, or youtube, where someone may watch Ariana Grande's latest music video where she is dressed in the latest skimpy fashion or a clip from their favorite blockbuster movie. If you want to personally block that sort of thing because you do not want to be exposed, kol hakavod, but please do not label someone who is ok with it as accessing explicit or p*rnographic material. It's not the same thing at all.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 11:33 am

amother Amaryllis wrote:

You never mistype a website address, or use .com instead of .org or .gov?

You never accidentally click on an ad?

You never open a Google result that is misleading?

You never search for an innocuous image and are presented with not such innocuous results?

I don’t get blocked by my filter often, but those times I do I’m glad I have it.

Im going to answer you: NO, I have never mistyped something and gotten p0rn. I have never used the wrong ending and gotten awful things. I have never done a search and gotten things I didnt want to see.

Confused

amother

Tuberose

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 11:41 am

socialbutterfly wrote:

Funny that people think modern day rabbanim live under rocks…

Some are just not familiar with the ins and outs of the internet because they themselves never have used it.
A rav came to my DH telling him that he wants my DH to explain to him all the pros and cons of the internet and to explain to him how the internet works etc. because he needs to pasken and is not sure how it works. It’s nice that he was trying to get educated but he also proved how clueless he was about it and therefore believed in banning the internet completely because that’s what other Rabbanim in his circles were doing. The question is , are they really so knowledgeable? It’s easier to ban things than to actual know the ins and outs of things.

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 12:09 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

Of course I closed my browser but images are graphic and stick in your mind more than, let's say, audio. And I would not have wanted my kids to see that.
No idea the laws since I've never set up such a site to have needed to research but believe me, they were right there on the homepage. Could be they led to videos and then needed verification for entry, I have no idea as I didn't pursue it. I did run a whois search and track the history of the website. Since the domain wasn't renewed, somewhere in Russia I believe snatched it up and I have no idea if their laws are the same. I just ran a whois search on it now and BH looks like it's no longer in use. So I'm not sure how long the site was up and running. Maybe it was shut down.

I've also said the story before about years ago when I accidentally mistyped yahoo and got something very different shall we say.

Honest mistakes that I wouldn't want my other family members to experience.

amother

Papayawhip

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 12:40 pm

I didn't read this entire thread, but this is completely absurd to all those who r saying we don't need to listen to gedolim. Did u guys know that mitzvos derabanan is soemtimes even greater punishment then mitzvas doreisa?? What abt in times when Moshe rabeinu was the leader?? We always had leaders for us yidden to be able to follow, and yes these days were in such filth and such fakeness, no there aren't really any tzadilkim that can talk to hashem or whatever.

But what abt all the tzaddikim like rav chaim kanievsky and rivnitza rebbe who lived not to long ago?? All these amazing stories how ppl were helped, and we wld go to them for help or advice, even now by their kever, why do we see miracles? Why go to them in first place ?? U cant pick and choose all sudden u need help and u beleive in them?? Cuz they r sent from hashem just to be there for us yidden.

And so r the ones that r saying these important gedarim that r SO necessary for this generation so pls don't go ditzing such a thing, it sounds terrible to do that. Don't u want guidance?? Don't u want them to help us bring us closer to our goal? They keep us grounded. And that's amazing. Forget abt kids seeing things on ur phones, and btw hashem created men with those kinda nisyonos , so yes, it's extremely important to have those gedarim. I understand that some ppl grow up with no knowledge to all this. Well maybe instead of talking so badly abt it and saying whatever u feel and want, look into it more. See what the true way is out there, see how amazing it is to be pintila yid and do things in the right way.

And I'm no ultra chasidish or yeshivish or ultra anything writing this, I'm a regular heimish women that just understands that being Jewish is amazing and yes its very hard in our generation to understand o many things, but as long as we do or try to do things in right way and stay on right path, thats what counts. So to all those who disagree with this, I'm very sorry it's not an opinion, these r facts, yes in this weak generation its needed. U don't understand the greatness and how so severe this situation is, I hope everyone does and we shld all be zoche to see the truth very soon when moshiach comes bekarov!!!

amother

Papayawhip

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 12:44 pm

And one more thing, abt these excuses and everything else..these days there's always a way to filter ur phone and still have everything u need on it to work, shop etc..just stop looking for excuses already and understand that yes, we do make some sacrifices for yiddishkeit!

Ya we're all so used to living online and getting everything from social media , and that's why it's so hard for so many ppl (including me) but yes my phone is filtered and so is my husband's. I bh don't have that nisayon for social media, but thats cuz I didn't let myself start with it.

Yes everyone's on diff level but pls don't ditz our grt ppl helping us out there, and let's all just wake up and smell the coffee, what we're really here for, for one purpose..

amother

Amaryllis

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 12:44 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I have seen ads that may not be actual p-rn, but really were far too graphic for my tastes. Thanks to once searching for gowns on one of the Chinese sites. Lesson learned. And thank Hashem for adblock.

I have never gotten actual p-rn from mistyping websites, but my filter blocked the site as explicit content, so I'll assume that sans filter I might have.

I have searched for photos of a beach at sunset for my child to paint, and gotten overly romantic scenes that I was REALLY not interested in seeing. (Admittedly, a filter would not have helped this.)

I'm happy for you that life without a filter is working. For me, I appreciate that safety rail on the side of the highway although I hope to never bump into it.

imorethanamother

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 2:09 pm

I’d like to make a point.

Just because you’re struggling with something isn’t a good enough reason to malign people who are telling you the truth.

Do we agree that the internet is a dangerous place? Yes. I’d be hard pressed to say no.

Do we agree that vices and terrible things have become instantly accessible, thus making addiction and other sins much harder to overcome? Yes.

I know that my house would be a safer place. My children would be a million times better off without videos or devices or video games. I would be better off without this smartphone, even weighing all the good it does.

And even if you are the person with willpower to end all willpower, and you only check your phone a microsecond each day and that’s to do carpool and order your children their clothing, and then the rest of the time you create arts and crafts projects and sing songs and gaze adoringly into your children’s eyes, you have to admit that this utopia is not the reality for nearly everyone else.

I’m not a strong enough person to get rid of my smartphone. But I’m not a stupid enough person to blame the Rabbis for saying it’s a terrible thing. I blame myself and realize that one day I can get there.

And by the way, no one - Jewish or otherwise - in the tech world thinks unfiltered internet is a good idea. There are numerous documentaries that feature the people that created twitter, Facebook, instagram, TikTok, and apple products that say that the internet world is a dangerous place for most anyone. If they can hijack an adult’s brain the way the science says they can, teens and children don’t stand a chance.

amother

Bluebonnet

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 3:00 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

I think you're distorting the viewpoints being presented here. Not one person suggested that unfiltered internet be provided for kids. The discussion around that was for adults - on devices that kids have no access to.

Secondly, the idea of a filter does not help or negate anything about overusing the phone, or being on it all day. This conversation was all about filters, so this topic has no relevance on filters.

So I think most of us are in agreement with you and the rest of the world that kids should not have access to unfiltered internet. And if we want to discuss how smartphones take up too much of our time, we can do that. But I don't think it's fair to spin our comments around the Rabbonim into something that was not presented here. Our comments were strictly around filters or internet bans being forced upon adults.

imorethanamother

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 4:01 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

That’s a good point. My argument wasn’t that great.

But filters are important for adults too. Social media makes us all unhappy (says research) and yet we are constantly using it. Like this site, for example. I frequently need to take breaks. I don’t believe people when they claim that they never ever saw anything untoward on the internet. Even if they didn’t, someone in their life can, and maybe someone in their life will. I think it’s a question of when, not if.

I think we can agree that for the masses, filtering out the dangerous parts of the internet is a good thing. Which means Rabbanim aren’t wrong. I work in a field where I see a lot of adults making very poor decisions in that regard, and the outcome of those decisions. Obviously it’s the ultimate easiest statement to say no internet whatsoever, and I think it can be ideal. I agree that most of us aren’t capable of living that ideal but I don’t think it’s fair to blame people and call them names. Like what’s being done here.

amother

Molasses

Sun, Nov 20 2022, 4:15 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

Filters dont necessarily filter out social media.

I am one of the posters who said that I never searched for the wrong type of content. Which is not the same thing as saying it never came up - I did get these sometimes in my search but I didn't click on it. I have since changed my settings on Google to safety or something like that- which is probably why I haven't gotten anything recently....

I am going to say that I do believe in an ideal world we should use the internet minimally. I do not think I should not use the internet ever - as I have gotten a lot of help in different areas via the internet- but yes minimally. I AM glad that I live in a community that keeps emphasizing the dangers of the internet - that keeps me wary. But I am not so glad if people try to control me - fortunately my kids schools are pretty easygoing and I don't feel controlled. But it WOULD bother me. Let me make my own decisions please about my own life, thank you.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Nov 21 2022, 4:19 am

Chickensoupprof wrote:

My problem with actively listening and doing what 'gedolim' want or being totally preoccupied with gedolim is that it almost seems to me like catholicism. The beauty of Yiddishkeit I thought that we all have a connection with Hashem and not that there is someone who is playing the G'ds deputy, sometimes I feel that some people treat a gadol as a deputy of G'd I see a gadol mostly as someone who mastered halacha really well and has excellent middos, yet I can go to any gadol and ask for eitza but he doesn't know my background,my difficulties my community (which doesn't exist). And he would prob answer me as he would answer a wife of a BMG kollel avreich who lived already a frum life before conception...Then yeah I got an eitza of an gadol, or a certain and then I'm acting to it and then it doesn't work, and then what?

Sorry but you obviously don't know how to ask a shaala. If you're saying he'll assume you're a wife of BMG KA then YOU have not asked YOUR own question properly. No human is a mind reader - you have to make it your business to ask your questions clearly with full description and background - in a paragraph or two or three or four or even a long essay so there are no assumptions. How one earth do you expect a tailor made answer to a generalized non-tailored question??

Sorry - not good enough. I feel sorry for you - sounds like you don't know how to express yourself and describe your situation clearly. You are meant to ask a full question! of course you feel the way you do - I feel sorry you're missing the joys of asking a full question and receiving a clarifying answer - the clarity is the best feeling ever! By the way this totally is not just when asking a gadol or rav a question - this is how you should be speaking to anyone including a GP, dentist, therapist, your children's teachers, your neighbors, your friends, parents, husband and of course your rav too.

And your rav means a personal rav that you build a kesher with too - not stam a random rav who doesn't know you.

Hatzlacha and hugs xxx