S/O toddler in high end restaurant, the horror! Poll

amother

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:25 pm

amother Fern wrote:

You need to specify what kind of restaurant. Regular, or expensive fine dining? To me it makes a big difference

I’ll try to edit but it’s a s/o from the one on the other thread

amother

Snowdrop

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 12:14 am

I don't think that fine dining has to be the exclusive purview of adults. Any human who can behave and not disturb other patrons, and will have their food paid for, should be welcome.

I'm of the "kids are people too" mindset, and think that there are very few situations where a child's very PRESENCE is inappropriate.

amother

Azalea

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 12:23 am

I have little kids, 6 and under, so I don't take them out to eat, except to the local pizza shop.

However, I once went out to a fancy place for my anniversary with just my DH. At the next table, there was a couple with 2 small kids, both on their ipads.

I didn't hear them the entire time, and their mere presence didn't bother me one bit.

I just felt bad for them that they weren't sleeping - it was late!

amother

Fuchsia

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 12:46 am

I generally don't bring kids because if I go I want alone time with kids.
On vacation I would for sure bring them. We're on a relaxed schedule and don't have babysitter when not home, so why not take them?

amother

Mocha

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 4:34 am

amother Snowdrop wrote:

This. I've brought my 1.5 year old with me since she was a newborn, and actually just went out to a nice restaurant with her last week. She loved it.

amother

Cyan

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 4:50 am

It is a free world. Still. Mostly everywhere.

And we do not want to be "that" person on the airplane who gives every kid even the most well behaved or sleeping "the stink eye".

Yes it is mentschlicht for everyone kids and adults to behave with proper decorum.

That includes not blasting everyone with your loud cell phone convo, kwim? Or getting super drunk or many other things that would not enhance our experience anywhere let alone in an upscale expensive restaurant.

Kiwi13

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 4:58 am

Toddlers don't belong in high end fancy restaurants. It's inconsiderate to risk introducing noise and chaos to others' experience at fancy restaurants. People often choose high end restaurants BECAUSE they want the calm, quiet experience.

If someone brings their kids, would I make a stink over it? No. Is it the biggest issue facing mankind? No. But it's still not nice.

amother

Cognac

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 8:03 am

I’ve been to a high end restaurant that stated on the website children weren’t allowed into the dining room after a certain time. I thought that was a fair compromise. But I still wouldn’t bring very small children. My kids were 9 and up when we went to nicer places. We took them at younger ages to family-friendly places, however.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 8:08 am

Kiwi13 wrote:

It's usually groups of adults that make lots of noise, not children. We go out to eat often, and I don't remember that last time that it was quiet in the restaurant. It's always noisy, with groups laughing and talking loudly. People are just intolerant to the site of a child, even if the child doesn't bother anyone.

amother

Bluebonnet

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 8:17 am

My grandfather took the family out to a high end restaurant in Manhattan for his birthday and my kids were not invited. There was a 2/3 year old who kept wandering around (quietly) and every time he passed us, my grandmother turned to me and said “this is why they weren’t invited” but then went on to talk about how nice it was for the whole family to be together. I’m still offended

amother

NeonPurple

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 8:29 am

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

Why are you offended?.
It was his birthday and he gets to decide who comes.

amother

Jade

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 8:42 am

Back when our kids were small we often brought them along to nice restaurants. They were well behaved kids in general and understood that they were going somewhere special where they had to be on their very best behavior.
There were a couple of times where we had a screaming baby with us and I promptly exited the restaurant until it was under control.
Naturally I am fine going to nice places and seeing other people's well behaved children and babies. I am not fine with wild, noisy kids whose parents don't seem to care that they are ruining everyone's evening.
I do understand that there may be situations where parents with a child/ children with very challenging behavior have no choice but to take their child out to dinner with them. But they still have a choice in where to dine. Pizza shop would be a better choice than high end steak house.
And if there is still some reason to be in that high end steak house with a 5 year old who is jumping up and down on his chair while shouting at the top of his lungs, at least have the decency to apologize to the people sitting around you instead of pretending it isn't happening. Maybe send your neighbors a few glasses of wine on your tab. They need it!

amother

Bluebonnet

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 8:43 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

Why are you offended?.
It was his birthday and he gets to decide who comes.

You wouldn’t be offended if someone says how nice it is to have the whole family together while your own children weren’t invited?

amother

Peony

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 8:54 am

I don’t see a problem with it , if they are sitting at their own table and not getting into anyone’s space or being overly noisy. Leave it to the restaraunt owner or staff to decide if it’s a problem or if they would like to put in a no children rule. There are plenty of places a couple can go out where children are not allowed so if you cannot bear to look at a child, go to a place where there is a no children rule.

amother

DarkKhaki

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 10:07 am

Kiwi13 wrote:

Agree. Even though 'kids are people too', it doesn't mean that adults can't have a kids-free space. Adults also need airing out, and want/need to have some peace and quiet. The fact is that once kids are allowed, there is always the likelihood that there will be some noisy kids mixed in with well-behaved kids. I don't see why there can't be both types of fine dining restaurants - family style, and no kids style.