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Forum
-> Parenting our children
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Dec 05 2022, 3:44 am
Hi guys, I would like to start a thread that will be a support thread for mothers. Part humor part serious. The back story is that I grew up in a very small family so I really don't know what's considered normal for a larger family kh. I feel like this will be really helpful for me and I hope it will help others too!
My kids are kh a brood, ages 9 and down.
Is it normal for the bathroom to look like a smelly tornado hit it hours after cleaned?
Is it normal for pencils, erasers and papers to constantly be left on the couch?
Is it normal to go to sleep with crumbs on the counter because you cannot stay awake a minute longer?
I'm sure I'll think of more...
Edited to remove unnecessary comment
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amother
Raspberry
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Mon, Dec 05 2022, 4:10 am
| amother OP wrote: | Hi guys, I would like to start a thread that will be a support thread for mothers. Part humor part serious. The back story is that I grew up in a very small family so I really don't know what's considered normal for a larger family kh. I feel like this will be really helpful for me and I hope it will help others too!
My kids are kh a brood, ages 9 and down.
Is it normal for the bathroom to look like a smelly tornado hit it hours after cleaned?
Is it normal for pencils, erasers and papers to constantly be left on the couch?
Is it normal to go to sleep with crumbs on the counter because you cannot stay awake a minute longer?
I'm sure I'll think of more...
Please don't call CPS on me  |
Crumbs on the counter? Uh. Yes, its normal to go to sleep with crumbs on the counter. It's normal for the bathroom to smell when little kids use it, before they really know how to make without making a mess. It's normal for things to be left on the couch. CPS?? I know you're trying to be cute but it's going to make every person reading this thread feel awful to think that there's someone out there who's truly questioning if it's ok to go to sleep with crumbs on the counter when you're an exhausted mother of a family with young kids.
It's also normal not to get your dishes done right after shabbos.
Not to bathe every child every day (if they aren't dirty)
To have smudges on the windows.....the list can go on and on.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Dec 05 2022, 4:30 am
| amother Raspberry wrote: | Crumbs on the counter? Uh. Yes, its normal to go to sleep with crumbs on the counter. It's normal for the bathroom to smell when little kids use it, before they really know how to make without making a mess. It's normal for things to be left on the couch. CPS?? I know you're trying to be cute but it's going to make every person reading this thread feel awful to think that there's someone out there who's truly questioning if it's ok to go to sleep with crumbs on the counter when you're an exhausted mother of a family with young kids.
It's also normal not to get your dishes done right after shabbos.
Not to bathe every child every day (if they aren't dirty)
To have smudges on the windows.....the list can go on and on. |
You know what, you're right. The CPS comment was too much for what I wrote. I think it came out from looking at the state of every single room in my house even though I didn't write about that. I will remove.
But honestly growing up in a house with few children with large age gaps, there were never crumbs on the counter or anything on the couch.
Help me feel better that it's all normal rather than putting me down, k?
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amother
Clover
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Mon, Dec 05 2022, 4:56 am
I have a few children bh, with large age gaps and there are always crumbs on the counter and pencils on the floor.
Please dont out me.
There is nothing wrong with me.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 4:26 am
Here's another one-
Is it normal that no matter how many times I clean and organize my kids rooms they are dirty and upside down all over again the next day? No matter how many times I tell them to throw wrappers/dirty tissues/empty cups in the garbage I still find them on the floor of their room?
And the amount of chachkes grows and grows and ends up everywhere even if it's supposed to be limited to whatever fits in the designated boxes.
What can I do about it?
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SuperWify
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 5:02 am
| amother OP wrote: | Here's another one-
Is it normal that no matter how many times I clean and organize my kids rooms they are dirty and upside down all over again the next day? No matter how many times I tell them to throw wrappers/dirty tissues/empty cups in the garbage I still find them on the floor of their room?
And the amount of chachkes grows and grows and ends up everywhere even if it's supposed to be limited to whatever fits in the designated boxes.
What can I do about it? |
I have 2 kids and it’s the same by me. They have no concept of cleanliness or organization. The trick is too clean up every morning for 15 minutes so that it’s doesn’t all pile.
Junk and tchotchkes magically disappear when the little angels are asleep.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 5:54 am
| SuperWify wrote: | I have 2 kids and it’s the same by me. They have no concept of cleanliness or organization. The trick is too clean up every morning for 15 minutes so that it’s doesn’t all pile.
Junk and tchotchkes magically disappear when the little angels are asleep. |
Thank you!
I'm too nervous to throw their things out because they might "neeeeeed" it the next day.
And getting them to go through it all is like pulling teeth.....
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amother
PlumPink
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 8:30 am
| amother OP wrote: | Here's another one-
Is it normal that no matter how many times I clean and organize my kids rooms they are dirty and upside down all over again the next day? No matter how many times I tell them to throw wrappers/dirty tissues/empty cups in the garbage I still find them on the floor of their room?
And the amount of chachkes grows and grows and ends up everywhere even if it's supposed to be limited to whatever fits in the designated boxes.
What can I do about it? |
Uch my boys’ room drives me nuts. Toys, shoes and little playmobil pieces all over. It’s like pulling teeth to get them to clean it, but whenever a miracle occurs and it gets clean, it’s a mess again the next day.
I’m pregnant and definitely not crawling around to clean up playmobil. So I just shut the door…
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amother
Aquamarine
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 8:58 am
Btw regarding that CPS comment, I know it’s not the crumbs on the counter that made you think that. I just want to say that I can relate. I know that my home is pretty normal, as much as I struggle in many areas due to childhood circumstances.
But this thought very often comes to mind, whether CPS will some day find that I’m not doing good enough of a job.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 9:01 am
| amother Aquamarine wrote: | Btw regarding that CPS comment, I know it’s not the crumbs on the counter that made you think that. I just want to say that I can relate. I know that my home is pretty normal, as much as I struggle in many areas due to childhood circumstances.
But this thought very often comes to mind, whether CPS will some day find that I’m not doing good enough of a job. |
This brought tears to my eyes. Knowing I'm not the only one in that situation who feels like that.
Thank you for taking the time to write.
This is why I never end up leaving imamother. Because threaded in between the nasty judgy comments there are always nice, thoughtful and sometimes heartwarming comments too.
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amother
Cherry
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 9:21 am
| amother OP wrote: | Hi guys, I would like to start a thread that will be a support thread for mothers. Part humor part serious. The back story is that I grew up in a very small family so I really don't know what's considered normal for a larger family kh. I feel like this will be really helpful for me and I hope it will help others too!
My kids are kh a brood, ages 9 and down.
Is it normal for the bathroom to look like a smelly tornado hit it hours after cleaned?
Is it normal for pencils, erasers and papers to constantly be left on the couch?
Is it normal to go to sleep with crumbs on the counter because you cannot stay awake a minute longer?
I'm sure I'll think of more...
Edited to remove unnecessary comment |
Oy! You go to sleep with crumbs on your counter?!?! For real?!?! No, seriously, you're making me feel awful. I sometimes leave a lot more than just crumbs on the counter. I really hope this is not your most dysfunctional aspect of parenting. Sometimes I'm just so drained that I can leave plates around from dinner and clear it off next morning before the kids come in for breakfast. I don't think my home is dysfunctional. I would think a nervous mother yelling at her kids all the time why they didn't clean this and that would be more dysfunctional. I work. I have little kids home. Usually either pregnant or nursing. I have my own emotional challenges to work through. I have a lot on my plate and having crumbs on my counter is a far cry from what my home can sometimes look like.
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amother
Ginger
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 9:24 am
Wow I am sorry ladies
CPS in no way belongs on a light thread....meaning you do yourself no favor to be so self judgmental and hard on yourself!!!
Love your kids
Give them every basic need as best as possible
Pat yourself on the back for every positive no matter how "small" you think it is
Keep the big picture in mind
We grow in a positive environment.
As do kids
Hugs and hatzlocha
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amother
Mint
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 9:37 am
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Bigger question is, are there flies and roaches everywhere. Does the house smell. Are your children relatively happy and healthy. No one has a clean neat house all the time. I have friends with big houses and cleaning help daily. The mess is just spread out or hidden in certain rooms. Can we clean up daily? Yes. But it won't stay neat and clean for long. Unless there are very few people living there. My parents house with 2 adults is not picture perfect 24/7. People need to live too. I have met people with spotless houses. They are never relaxed.
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amother
Holly
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 9:42 am
Yes it is all normal.
You are normal.
Your children are normal.
Do your best of course and do your best to teach them.
That is all.
Have much nachas!
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HonesttoGod
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 10:52 am
Yes yes yes yes.
And I don't have a huge brood. Grew up part of a huge brood with a full time cleaner and yes, still pencils under couch cushions and crumbs on the counter.
It is part of life, we can't do it all!
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amother
Honey
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 11:03 am
My parents house now is always spotless. They complain there's no mess, it's too quiet, and they're lonely.
One day my house will be the same. For now I'm enjoying the lived in look and feeling.
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BatZion
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 3:48 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Hi guys, I would like to start a thread that will be a support thread for mothers. Part humor part serious. The back story is that I grew up in a very small family so I really don't know what's considered normal for a larger family kh. I feel like this will be really helpful for me and I hope it will help others too!
My kids are kh a brood, ages 9 and down.
Is it normal for the bathroom to look like a smelly tornado hit it hours after cleaned?
Is it normal for pencils, erasers and papers to constantly be left on the couch?
Is it normal to go to sleep with crumbs on the counter because you cannot stay awake a minute longer?
I'm sure I'll think of more...
Edited to remove unnecessary comment |
Sweetheart.
Yes. The bathroom can smell an HOUR later because boys...
Yes. Our couch is PACKED with treasures in all the crooks and crannies. Pesach will sort that out.
Crumbs on the counter?! Try dishes stacked sky-high in each sink, a messy table, unswept floor. Some days are just like that. It's okay. You're okay. You're more than okay. You're fantastic. You're doing your best. We all are.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Tue, Dec 06 2022, 4:42 pm
| BatZion wrote: | Sweetheart.
Yes. The bathroom can smell an HOUR later because boys...
Yes. Our couch is PACKED with treasures in all the crooks and crannies. Pesach will sort that out.
Crumbs on the counter?! Try dishes stacked sky-high in each sink, a messy table, unswept floor. Some days are just like that. It's okay. You're okay. You're more than okay. You're fantastic. You're doing your best. We all are. |
Bathrooms and boys 
Isn't that the time where you wish you had no neighbours and you send out the boys to do ktannim in the high bushes in the forest
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BatZion
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Tue, Jan 10 2023, 1:06 pm
| Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | Bathrooms and boys
Isn't that the time where you wish you had no neighbours and you send out the boys to do ktannim in the high bushes in the forest |
Erm, my boys loved going to the toilet outside between the ages of being toilet-trained and about 5. Yishuv life. IYKYK.
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