Why do grandparents give chanukah gifts only to the grandkid

amother

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:38 pm

I know it's time to grow up, but I can't figure out why all the grandparents give gifts to their grandchildren, or money but not to their own kids/kids-in law
why don't the adult kids deserve gifts anymore?

just wondering/venting....

GrowingUp

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:40 pm

It doesn’t work that way in my (or my husband’s family)

Adults get gifts and gelt as well.

flowerpower

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:42 pm

By us- dh and my side we get gifts as well. Not just the grandkids.

amother

Lightblue

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Do you give your parents and ILs a gift?

amother

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:45 pm

we send them gifts here and there - over the course of the year not necessarily for occasions

we're OOT so they often send money for the kids - give $50 to each kid, or $18 per kid etc
and I always feel badly....

amother

Black

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:45 pm

Hey
I WANT A GIFT 🎁 TOO
😭
We give money to the kids and small gifts to the grand kids

#BestBubby

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:46 pm

Some do.

But it is expensive when one has so many grandchildren.

So the adults,are ok with only the kids getting gifts.

#BestBubby

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:48 pm

Here is an idea

Every adult buy ONE gift up to $5.

Then have a grab bag and every adult gets a gift.

amother

Blush

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:49 pm

We usually do a grab bag where adults and kids give and get a gift.

amother

Forsythia

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:55 pm

My parents and in laws gave us a small gift. But even if not, my kids’ new toys keeping them busy all afternoon was a gift for me! Plus not having to cook dinner some nights

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:55 pm

Since when is chanukka gifting an obligation?

amother

Aqua

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:55 pm

I think because it’s just easier to buy gifts to kids.

For many finding the right gift for adults is daunting.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 5:59 pm

Op I relate.
My in-laws send a check with a note attached - $5 per child, sometimes $10 per child.
We were married 2 years before we had kids, those years they sent us $18 for us. The year our first was born, it switched to $5 for our child
I know they don't owe me anything, but it does annoy me.

mommy3b2c

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 6:00 pm

Many of us do, my grandparents still give me money and they also give my kids gifts or money. And my parents still give me money as well as my kids. Being hurt if they don’t is bizarre in my opinion. Who gets jealous of their own children ? If my kids get a gift it’s like I got a gift.

Cookiegirl

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 6:04 pm

We give gifts for the grandchildren and gelt for the children...BH no complaints. I hope we can always give BE"H

DreamerForever

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 6:06 pm

'cuz it's cheaper

and easier to get it right with the kids.

amother

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 6:06 pm

I wouldn't say I'm jealous - I would say I'm slightly hurt that I don't seem to matter

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 6:10 pm

I feel that when someone gives my kids a gift, they are essentially giving it to me too. My kids are part of me!

Wolfsbane

Mon, Dec 19 2022, 6:19 pm

The grandparents probably see the gift to the grandkids as a gift to the children as well.