How to get things done with baby

EvenI

Tue, Jun 10 2008, 5:28 am

I have one 8 month old baby - no other kids yet, and I can't figure out how to get anything done during the day if I am looking after him. By the time he is in bed at night, I am exhausted (especially, since we are going through a heatwave. I feel a bit ridiculous. Do you have any tips for how to get things done? I want to be able to cook and clean a bit, and certainly to eat. On Shabbos, I would like to be able to read something while he plays. Even though he plays nicely, he seems to need some sort of attention/help every two or three minutes. I realize that it is good for him if I spend some time playing with him, which I do, but I would like to be able to leave him as well.
I am in Israel. At the moment, Shabbos comes in after 7pm, but unless my DH takes the baby during the day, I can be up from 6 am and literally get no preparations done by the time 7pm rolls around.

shalhevet

Tue, Jun 10 2008, 5:44 am

Well, I'll try and help, but no guarantees.

Try and divide what you need to do into things that don't need concentration and aren't dangerous (eg peeling vegetables, making a cake, hanging out laundry, folding laundry) with other things that do need your full attention and/or dangerous (ironing, reading).

The second group do when the baby is sleeping and/or you have someone else to watch them.

The first group do while you are looking after the baby. At the same time explain what you're doing, or talk or sing to them. At 8 months you can teach a baby that you will pick them up at the first whimper, or that you can give them attention while doing something else, and they will have to learn to live with that.

I do the same thing today with older children - do things like fold laundry during the afternoons, so that I can talk to them at the same time.

catonmylap

Tue, Jun 10 2008, 5:51 am

Don't you at least have nap time to do preps? At 8 months, your baby should be taking 2 good naps.

My ds is very independent. He plays by himself very nicely. Dh usually takes him for at least a trip to the bakery on Fridays. We are transitioning to one nap, so I have at least that time to get stuff done. When he's up, he'll often come and stand by the gate or play near it so he can watch me in the kitchen.

What happens when you try to read a book on shabbos?

Have you baby proofed yet? It made a big difference when we gated off the kitchen and got into the habit of keeping the bathroom doors closed during the day.

If your ds really is an attention seeker, maybe you can find a young girl to help out for a couple of hours over the summer so you can get more done in the house.

Tamiri

Tue, Jun 10 2008, 5:52 am

If it's any consolation, I think the hardest part of having a baby is between around 8 months and 18 months, when it seems you can't get a thing done.
This is when the time is ripe to teach baby to entertain himself. Put on music, give him plastic containers and bowls and spoons to play with in the kitchen while you do your work in short bursts. Give him a shelf or a drawer that is "his" (you can tie all the other drawers and cabinets shut). Now is when everything is new and interesting for baby, so get him active using his senses. Give him a bowl of something to eat by himself and let him get dirty (it's so warm he doesn't need clothes, just a diaper, so save on the laundry). Teach him to drink from a straw!!! Anything to keep him busy for a few minutes so you can get some work in. It's also a good idea to tire him out before you have work to do, so he'll sleep. That's usually accomplished by being outside - something about the fresh air.

This too, shall pass.

Amital

Wed, Jun 11 2008, 8:26 am

Playing by themselves worked for a while, but my babies like to be put into a sling or backpack when I needed to get something done and they were needy. Most importantly, I narrate what I am doing pretty much whenever they are around, in the sling or not. I get to expound on all my knowledge this way! Very Happy

I also like to offer them something to "help," although at 8 months, definitely make sure it's safe! So if you are folding clothes, give a sock or two or washcloths, something small, to your little one and praise his efforts at folding/waving/eating it. If you are cooking, give him a plastic spoon and cup and let him make "music" and sing along, or a wooden spoon and a pot to practice stirring, or if whatever you have can be eaten by him, let him "help" that way. Kids love to help, and I was surprised at how early they can be interested!

But as long as you're singing or explaining in an interesting voice and making occasional eye contact, it lets your hands keep on going without holding a little one for a little while. (And I absolutely agree with Shalhevet about the things you can do / dangerous things distinction--very important!)

An erev Shabbat treat for my boys (which might be a little too early for your son, but you decide) is that I put out a towel and then a small dish tub with an inch or two of water. Sometimes I add bubbles, but mostly, just a few plastic cups, spoons, medicine droppers, etc. Then I let them go at it--they pour water, spoon it into the cups, measure it, etc... I put it on my kitchen floor, and when they're done, I just use the towel to wipe up the floor and then put the kids into their Shabbos clothes! (My older son, who is 4, has a gallon bag with lentils, and I sometimes let him do a "lentil box" with a tub or shoebox and the lentils, and he can keep it pretty well contained--but only without his little brother. I'm quite sure this one is too big for your 8 month old, though! Wink

) This is one trick for how I manage to make Shabbat!

shabri

Wed, Jun 11 2008, 12:17 pm

I'm in the same sitch. DD is turning a yr and while she used to be ok playing with some tupperwares in the kitchen. Last week she pulled herself up on my freestanding oven and started playing with the knobs on the stove (B"H the oven was not on, but that was when I realized she can't be in the kitchen when the oven is on.

She also has this ability to find any spec of dust on the floor and eat it. Living in Israel, even if I was an neurotic cleaner (which I admit I'm not)It would be impossible to get rid of every spec of dust. I just came to the realization that I can't get anything done when she is around. She is also transitioning to 1 nap but usually by the time that comes around I am so exhausted that I need to relax for a bit.

My husband does take her on his errands on Fri morning so that helps a lot.

pinktichel

Thu, Jun 12 2008, 12:32 pm

I have a 19 mnth old and 4 mnth old (k"h).
I'll admit, it is tough, but I try to organize myself as best as I can. I do a lot of planning in advance. I cook as much as I can at night when Dh is home.

I double EVERYTHING I can and freeze. I have a tiny freezer, but it's amazing to see how much I can stuff in there. I make huge pot of soup and double recipe of kneidlach. I make a 9x13 of lasagna, ziti, eggplant parm, etc and freeze half.

When the baby is sleeping, or playing happily (all of 5 min LOL

) I do all things I need two hands for like chopping vegies.

I try to keep the toddler entertained while cooking. I'll admit, sometimes I feel really bad (like I'm neglecting her) about cooking and not sitting on the floor and playing with her.

Although I love to, I don't have guests often. It's not fair to my children. I put too much time and energy into cooking for guests rather than being a Mommy.

B"h Dh is happy with simple foods like eggs, salad and garlic bread for dinner. That's what he's getting tonight! LOL

I only have cleaning help once every two weeks for 3 hrs, so I do the rest when the kids are napping. Speaking of which, I'm signing off to tackle the bathroom.

mummiedearest

Thu, Jun 12 2008, 12:43 pm

I have a 21 month old and 7 month old.
some tips:

as soon as you get out of bed in the morning, make the beds. it starts your day off nicely.

cook dinner in the crock pot in the morning, it'll be done by dinner time. this way you avoid cooking during the evening cranky hours.

baby carrier can be worn while sweeping or vacuuming.

toy mess is not dirty, just untidy. don't bother picking up toys until the kid goes to sleep or the clutter gets to you. it isn't a time consuming job.

make sure your home is baby proof, it contains the mess and keeps you sane.

make lists of chores and number them in order of priority. if you don't get to the last ones, no big deal.

cubbie

Wed, Jun 25 2008, 3:55 pm

Anyone who has got to know me here will know that I'm big on routine, structure and organisation. So this is how I get things done...

Firstly I get up 15 mins before everyone else so that I can get dressed and enjoy a quiet cup of tea before the madhouse begins - I know that doesn't sound so important, but it makes a difference it means that I'm calm and relaxed and ready to brace the day.
Then I get the girls up, 3.5 and 1.3 and get their milk/breakfast ready, while they're drinking/eating I put on the first load of laundry and take out a few toys and books from the toy cuboard. I find by me taking out just a few toys different each time they know what to do and they are excited to play as they aren't seeing the same toys all the time, whereas if they were helping themselves or all the toys are out they lack the direction and excitement and end up not playing with anything. While they're playing I get them dressed and get my older dd ready for gan.
At 8am we take her to gan and by the time we get home it leave just 45 mins until my younger dd's nap, during this time I will sit down and play with her for a few minutes enough to get her into a game and then I leave her to play by herself for 10 minutes during which time I tidy the rooms and make the beds (I also find that if I tidy 3-4 times a day each tidying session takes no more than 5-10 minutes) I then come back to play with her for a few minutes and get her onto a different toy and go to wash the dishes from the morning, come back to her - if she follows me to the kitchen I give her something from my cuboard to play with always something different so it's new to her each time. Then start to get her ready for her nap.
She naps for 1 1/2 hours and this is the time that I use to do everything, fold laundry that I put in the dryer the night before, cook lunch (we have our main meal at lunchtime - except for dh who eats whatever I cooked the girls for lunch when he gets home from work - and a light meal that doesn't take more than 2 mins in the micro for dinner), wash the floor (because I wash the floor everyday I only need to spend 10 mins, with a gummi and wet cloth except for Friday when dh does a much more thorough wash), put the toys that she was playing with away and take out some other toys and cut up some fruit for her snack when she wakes up. And believe it or not, I usually end up with about 1/2 hour to be on the computer/read/phonecalls before she wakes up between 10.30 and 11am. That means that by 11am I have done nearly all my duties for the day and I am more or less free to enjoy my kids.
She wakes up, eats her fruit, and we go out, I take her lunch with me and feed that to her while we're out. At 1 we collect my older dd fron gan, she has lunch and they play a little during which time I clear up from lunch, put the laundry from the morning in the dryer and a new load in the washing machine and we either go out until about 4.30/5 or all play together at home.
At 4.30/5 I give them dinner of fresh salad veg, parev shnitzels, cottage etc, get them bathed and at that point we put the toys away together and I put out a few books for quiet time before bed, at 6.30 we read a story together and put the baby to bed and then about 15 mins later read my older dd a story and put her to bed, so they're both in bed by 7pm and all that is left for me to do is put the books away, wash a few dishes from dinner, fold the laundry from the dryer and put the second load in the dryer to be ready for me to fold in the morning, one last tidy of the house and I am done - off duty by 7.30pm.

TwinsMommy

Wed, Jun 25 2008, 9:43 pm

am I the only one who doesn't get the screen name?

Even I .... what?

clue me in please?

As far as getting things done----- trapping my twins is my only hope. I trap them in a baby proof living room with a ton of toys while I start cooking.... but once I've got something prepped and in the oven, I come into the living room and read to them, tickle them, play with them, give them sippy cups.... and if I leave the room I let them know where I'm going and when I'm coming back and why I'm going "mommy is going to go get the laundry--- I'll be right back!".

If I need to shower, I trap them in 5 point harness high chairs in front of an Elmo DVD.

If I need to make a phone call, I am trapped in the baby proof room WITH THEM when they're happily playing with toys. While they sit and play nicely as long as I'm right there I can read too. I just put down my book every few pages to point out things or sing a song with them or read a book, whatever.

Advance planning is key too--- knowing it will be snack time while we're out, I'll bring snacks along. Knowing that after a walk they'll want sippy cups ASAP, I have those ready to go.

So I can cook, shower, make phone calls, read...... as far as cleaning.... well, I don't enjoy doing that anyway. Smile

That can wait till bedtime.

Naptime, lately, I've been napping at the same time as them to give me energy for the rest of the day. Smile