Is it rude to ask where clothes are from?

amother

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:07 am

When small talking at a Simcha, I tend to compliment the person’s outfit and then ask them where it’s from. Is that a rude thing to ask people? I don’t actually care where it’s from a lot of the time, I just want to have something to say because I’m an introvert and small talk doesn’t come naturally to me.

amother

Kiwi

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:13 am

I don't think so.
There may be times they won't be comfortable saying, if that's the case you can just move on to something else.
But I wouldn't say it's rude

amother

Amber

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:17 am

Not rude. Perfectly fine to ask.
Having said that, there are those who will get annoyed at the question, and to them it might be rulde. But theyre in the minority. Theyre kind of like the people who dont like being asked for recipes of food they make well, because they dont want to share it. Its still not rude to ask for a food recipe, no matter hlw annoyed they might get

amother

Ginger

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:20 am

I don't like being asked where my or my kids clothes are from. What if they're from a gemach or hand me downs? I don't think it's an appropriate question. It always makes me uncomfortable.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:21 am

amother Amber wrote:

I don't think it's the same as asking for a recipe, you don't receive recipes from a gemach or tzedaka or 2nd hand store.....

amother

White

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:29 am

amother Ginger wrote:

I don't like being asked where my or my kids clothes are from. What if they're from a gemach or hand me downs? I don't think it's an appropriate question. It always makes me uncomfortable.

Just respond what brand the stuff is in that case. No one will know the difference

Highstrung

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:33 am

amother Ginger wrote:

I don't like being asked where my or my kids clothes are from. What if they're from a gemach or hand me downs? I don't think it's an appropriate question. It always makes me uncomfortable.

I have this a lot. I’ve had teachers ask me where I bought my daughters adorable dress from and where do I shop because she has such cute and different clothes. I had to explain that it’s all hand me downs . It’s awkward.
I also have had people ask me about my own clothes and when I say “It’s a hand me down”, they reply “you didn’t have to tell me”…well then why did you ask in the first place?

Last edited by Highstrung on Thu, Dec 29 2022, 9:25 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

DarkOrange

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:35 am

Yes, it's extremely rude. Never ask me such a personal question!

Someone recently asked me where my sheitel is from because she liked it. I said it's second hand and she flinched. She could have said Gorgeous sheitel and had I wanted, I would've added details.

It's absolutely none of your business where I shop and how much I spent.

I see it as yachna and nosey. It's such a Jewish thing.

amother

Hyacinth

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:39 am

I find it a nosey question in general but would definitely say, 'I love your coat, it's exactly what I'm looking for. Did you buy it locally/this season?'

amother

Catmint

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:40 am

I don't see the big deal. Asking how much something cost is rude, asking where it's from is fine. If it's hand me down/Gamach and you don't want to share, just say the brand.

amother

Dahlia

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:55 am

If you explain you seriously like it and looking for something like this, I'll be ok sharing .
If you're asking just because? Nosey and rude. Absolutely none of your business.
Furthermore, asking how much I spent on something is so socially off and I get asked often.
P s I'll happily share my recipes with anyone who asks

amother

Ginger

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:57 am

amother White wrote:

Just respond what brand the stuff is in that case. No one will know the difference

Of course people know that difference.....
Not everything is a "brand" and most brands don't have a store. I don't even know what brands most of my clothes are.
I think that it's an inappropriate nosy question to ask.

amother

Dahlia

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:59 am

amother Amber wrote:

The poll suggests otherwise.

mizle10

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 9:00 am

amother Catmint wrote:

I don't see the big deal. Asking how much something cost is rude, asking where it's from is fine. If it's hand me down/Gamach and you don't want to share, just say the brand.

Asking where it’s from is asking for a general price range.

amother

Lemonlime

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 9:03 am

Especially since you are not interested better to simply compliment and not ask it’s origins.
As for hand me downs etc no need to be embarrassed everyone does this in our extended family and friends even wealthy it’s simply practical to pass the clothes around.