Afraid Cleaning lady took my diamond ring

prettyme

Mon, Jun 16 2008, 9:48 pm

My almost 3 yr old grabbed 2 of my rings while I was asleep and left it somewhere in the house. NO CLUE! She just tells me she hid it and thats it. I searched the entire house and couldn't find it. I had a cleaning lady 3 days later and she found just the kedusha ring in my sons bedroom/playroom and placed it on his bed nicely w/o saying anything. When I noticed it I thanked her and asked her where my diamond ring was because I know I left both of them together... she responded with blank face as if she doesn't know what I'm saying. I innocently thought at first she REALLY wouldn't steal the diamond ring and she definitely doesn't have it... only the next day I started thinking it must be she took it, because my daughter took both rings together and must have left it somewhere between the toys. I checked my entire house once again, including my vac bag, and it's nowhere to be found.

My question is: She is supposed to come back this week thursday to clean, Should I confront her or not, and how? I'm 99.99.99% sure she took it. Do I need to be afraid of her.

peach

Mon, Jun 16 2008, 10:05 pm

I would think that if she took the diamond ring, she'd take the wedding band too, just to cover up the evidence. Its also very likely that your child put them in separate places. I don't know what to suggest regarding the cleaning lady. If it makes you feel better, cancel her just for this week and see if it turns up in the meantime. And then you can decide how you want to proceed with her.

Also, try giving tzedaka l'iluy nishmas R' Meir Baal Hanes and say the "Hakol b'chezkas sumin....". Hatzlacha! Hope you find it soon!!

chummy

Mon, Jun 16 2008, 10:17 pm

This happened to me a couple of months ago. My sister was trying on my rings and I went away and before I went to sleep I asked her where they were. She told me on my dresser so I said ok and went to sleep. The next morning I got up after the cleaning lady came and realized that my rings were not on my dresser and they were gone. I asked my sister again and she basically went crazy looking for them and to no avail. She said she might have left them on the kitchen table. So I thought there was a good chance my cleaning lady took it. My sister asked her numerous times and she kept saying with a blank face she didn't know. I really started to think that she took it and was unsure how to approach it. Well a few days later I found the band in the washing machine but still no diamond. The day after that I found my diamond ring in my dryer. I felt bad for even feeling accusatory. Anyhow sorry for the long drawn out post but I do hope your ring shows up and like pp said she would have taken both I think in order to cover it up.

Clarissa

Mon, Jun 16 2008, 11:27 pm

I don't understand how you're 99.99999 whatever % sure the cleaning lady took it. Your child admits that she hid your rings. One of them turned up. Why would you be so sure the cleaning lady took it?

I'd grill the kid again, and then I'd do a thorough search. Tell the cleaning lady not to vacuum, just in case.

Tehilla

Mon, Jun 16 2008, 11:31 pm

sorry but you need to give her the benefit of the doubt.

when one has a cleaning lady and anything goes missing, even your half worn out shoes, the first person you suspect is usually the cleaning lady.

after I once thought a cleaning lady took something, but didn't say anything I later found the item that I myself had misplaced. since then, I will not suspect unless there is major evidence. and quite likely that your child hid it in two places.

hatzlacha finding it.

Mimisinger

Mon, Jun 16 2008, 11:39 pm

My great grandmother when she came to America after escaping from Germany during the war, came and cleaned toilets (this is after having a chauffer and cook, etc. in Germany). She was accused, my proud, GGM of stealing the lady's jewelry. MY GGM said she didn't take it and left. The lady called her back and said that she found it and begged for my GGM to come back, but my GGM refused. She had her pride and if someone doesn't trust, they don't trust.

morkush

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 3:15 am

Please please please think it hrought 1000 times before you accuse your cleaning lady. I have heard countless stories of people were "100% positive" that the cleaning lady took it, accused her again and again after she denied it, made a massive chilul hashem - and then the thing- be it money, jewlery, valuables etc turnes up 6 days, weeks months and even years later....

HindaRochel

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 3:35 am

I agree with the others. There is more evidence that the cleaning lady did not take it then she did. Your daughter took the rings and lost them.

Do not go accusing the cleaning woman. I hope you thanked her for finding your wedding ring for you. Don't cancel her; she needs that money. That money is her food and her rent.

You could tell her to be on the lookout for the other ring, that your daughter lost it and you still can't find it. If she finds it, give her an extra gift, or extra money, insist, and let her know that you are just so greatful to her.

im my kids ima

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 7:03 am

my rings r a little big. one day I lost them I went krazy I asked my cleaner to help turn the house over but we didnt find it. I gave up ever finding it. one day my washing mashine had a bad smell comming from it so I desided to clean it. it has a small place (like a draw) I opened it and started 2 clean. but no rings then I put my hand in to check the path (what ever) in short I found them in side the washing mashine.
go look there
good luck

mumoo

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 10:35 am

While it is possible (my mother once had a lady for years that she caught taking money. She was so embarrassed and remorseful), I think its rare that a cleaning lady would steal.

Cleaning houses is already so low on the job status scale. Garbage men have more prestige. A dishonest person could make a living illegally; it might be easier and is for sure less degrading.

And if these women are "career cleaners" have a successful business and make a lot of money, why would they risk it?

My children always accuse the cleaning ladies of taking their stuff- and it has always turned up (except for the charger cords my ds had stored in a box of garbage.... Confused

Raisin

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 11:52 am

just wondering, how much is your ring worth? would it be enough to risk her job? And future jobs? I'm sure some cleaners do steal, but to take a high value item like a ring is stupid. If she wanted to steal im sure there are things you wouldn't notice.

And a ring is small. there are a thousand places it could be. Check your vacuam cleaner.

ora_43

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 6:06 pm

mumoo wrote:

Cleaning houses is already so low on the job status scale. Garbage men have more prestige. A dishonest person could make a living illegally; it might be easier and is for sure less degrading.

Exactly!!! I used to work as a cleaning lady, and I had one lady who clearly thought I might have taken stuff. I couldn't understand her logic--hello, if I was going to be a thief, why would I bother scrubbing toilets and mopping floors for 30 shekels an hour as well Confused

. Just to take a single watch or some cash? It'd be a lot faster and easier to just find someone drunk on the street and take their stuff, or pocket a piece of jewelry from a store (I hope this last part doesn't sound a bit too well thought out LOL

).

In general, if someone is cleaning your house for money, it's because she wants to make an honest living.

I disagree with cleaning being degrading. While I don't enjoy cleaning to the point where I would do it for fun, I always found something nice about just getting into the routine, setting things straight (not that my own house is even remotely neat. It's an embarrassment to tell people I who've seen my house that I'm a "professional" cleaner). It's hard to explain. Also as a cleaning person you feel very, very needed, unlike my current job people used to absolutely panic if I had to call in sick...

ora_43

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 6:09 pm

Prettyme, I didn't mean my last post as a criticism of you. While I think cleaning ladies get blamed for missing objects way, way, way too often, I also fully understand the tendency to blame the help when things are lost. Any time someone you don't know very well was in your house it's easy to blame them for the things that go missing, especially when we're usually so sure that we know exactly where we last saw the object, dh could swear he didn't touch it, etc.

mumoo

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 8:48 pm

ora_43 wrote:

mumoo wrote:

Cleaning houses is already so low on the job status scale. Garbage men have more prestige. A dishonest person could make a living illegally; it might be easier and is for sure less degrading.

I disagree with cleaning being degrading.

I'm sorry. Really. I myself would rather clean than cook or chauffeur or help with homework. I don't personally believe that cleaning is degrading; and my cleaning ladies would tell you that I treat them very honorably. I meant it is viewed as a degrading profession. Unfortunately, much like babysitters- and we all agree this is a very noble profession.

ora_43 wrote:

It'd be a lot faster and easier to just find someone drunk on the street and take their stuff, or pocket a piece of jewelry from a store (I hope this last part doesn't sound a bit too well thought out

funny, ora!

prettyme

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 11:28 pm

First of all this lady is not jewish I would never have Chashad on a yiddishe mama , she's Mexican.
What makes me think she took it is because my friend who shares her with me has a c/c missing and $1600 charges since this beginning of June up until now ,the first charge is the day she started working for her and she knows she had her c/c home and she did leave the [gentile woman] alone for a few moments, this lady only worked for me 3 times.
BTW, I already said R'binyaman, gave tzedaka, checked vac bag, turned my house mattresses upside down and I still hope to find it and not accuse the cleaning lady.

anonymom

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 11:45 pm

Suggestion: Make a game with your 3 year old called "Find Mommy's ring."

Hide the one ring you have and make a show of looking for it and finding it and getting all excited when you find it. Then say "now let's find Mommy's other ring..."

Tamiri

Wed, Jun 18 2008, 2:48 am

prettyme wrote:

(1) Why didn't she cancel the card
(2) Why did she recommend someone whom she suspected to be less than honest