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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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amother
OP
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 Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:31 am
Just sat down with DH to see our past years budget. We spent 190k for a family of 7. We live simply, once a yr simple vacation, cheap clothing, once a week cleaning help, own a home and pay a mortgage, pay full tuition, no luxuries. I am shocked!
Does this make sense?
I don't even know where we can cut.
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watergirl
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:39 am
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Without knowing your mortgage/taxes and tuition, how can anyone answer you? Do you also pay a landscaping company, etc? Is your once a week cleaning help there at $15/hour for two hours, or $20/hour for 6 hours? It all adds up. Is your simple vacation a car ride away to family, or a plane ride and hotel?
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tichellady
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:40 am
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not shocking to me. frum life is expensive
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amother
Azure
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:42 am
| tichellady wrote: | | not shocking to me. frum life is expensive |
Agree. I’m surprised it’s not more.
Having 7 kids in the frum community means spending hundreds of thousands annually.
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mfb
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:46 am
Start with adding up your mortgage and tuition bills for the year and then you won’t be shocked anymore.
That’s where most of my money goes to.
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amother
Khaki
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:52 am
OP I’m in the same boat as you and I can’t wrap my head around it but when you look at numbers you will you prob spend on:
Food!!- we used to do take out once a week. Now it’s once a month if my kids are lucky
Full Tuition for 5 kids adds up!
Camp!!!
Insurance- car (I have 2 drivers), health, dental etc
Car payments
We don’t do Sunday programs or extracurricular. Teens spend a ton of money (even with using their side job/babysitting money)
I really have no advice except that I feel you with all my heart and soul and I don’t know what the future will hold
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elisheva25
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:54 am
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It makes sense depending on your tuition & mortgage bill
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amother
Lightyellow
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 9:55 am
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Inflation. The amount of money just gong to food and gas doubled since last year. And the price of everything else was raised too.
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amother
Lemon
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 10:44 am
For starters you don't live simply because you send your children to private school - and you probably have more than two children.
This isn't a judgment just a statement of reality in that most families - even those making $190,000 do not send their children to private school.
Deduct tuition from your "income" and your actual income is far less realistically - then deduct whatever extra costs you have for kosher food - which also realistically impacts what your "income" actually is.
After those deductions, I suspect your actual net income isn't really upper middle class but just solidly "middle class".
You only *think* your income of $190,000 should support a comfortably upper middle class life but the reality is that your actual income is far less.
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amother
Amber
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:02 am
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I spend far less than $190K annually but I'm also in a situation where I'm working as much and as hard as I can possibly work and not able to cut back any further. Our credit cards are maxed out. I'm really at a loss. We shouldn't have to live off tzedakah funds while working at a decent professional job. My two youngest are homeschooling (1st and 4th grade) because we literally do not have the money to pay more tuition. I'd happily homeschool the other ones but middle school and HS age really need to be in school. And we are very behind on tuition because I cannot keep up. What else does Hashem want us to do?
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watergirl
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:06 am
| amother Lemon wrote: | For starters you don't live simply because you send your children to private school - and you probably have more than two children.
This isn't a judgment just a statement of reality in that most families - even those making $190,000 do not send their children to private school.
Deduct tuition from your "income" and your actual income is far less realistically - then deduct whatever extra costs you have for kosher food - which also realistically impacts what your "income" actually is.
After those deductions, I suspect your actual net income isn't really upper middle class but just solidly "middle class".
You only *think* your income of $190,000 should support a comfortably upper middle class life but the reality is that your actual income is far less. |
Her income is not 190k. They spent 190k. I assume their income is much higher.
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amother
Eggshell
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:22 am
I’m surprised you are not spending more. We are a family of 7 ka”h and don’t pay full tuition and don’t go on vacation and don’t really buy clothes , unless super necessary (mostly hand me downs) and we still spend that much . We have zero in savings and zero in the bank account after paying all the monthly bills.
I remember years ago thinking that when we will finally earn a 6 figure income we will be able to afford life…the jokes on me.
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amother
Eggshell
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:23 am
| mfb wrote: | Start with adding up your mortgage and tuition bills for the year and then you won’t be shocked anymore.
That’s where most of my money goes to. |
This year my monthly food bill is higher than my mortgage.
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boysrus
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:23 am
| amother Eggshell wrote: | | This year my monthly food bill is higher than my mortgage. |
me too...
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amother
Amber
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:32 am
So what's the answer? What do we do?
We have no way to bring in more money.
I guess we can cut back, maybe stop buying chicken/meat/eggs/cheese. Vegan only? I'm happy to do that but my husband does not want to go along with it.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:35 am
| amother Amber wrote: | So what's the answer? What do we do?
We have no way to bring in more money.
I guess we can cut back, maybe stop buying chicken/meat/eggs/cheese. Vegan only? I'm happy to do that but my husband does not want to go along with it. |
I am asking the same question.
Is it moving to a different state that have private school tuition vouchers and cheaper housing?
Is it finding a new job when we are so settled?
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amother
Rainbow
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:53 am
We spent 100k last year family of 5 ppl, not incl babysitting and cleaning help which was about another 10k in cash.
This is without paying for car or mortgage. So your numbers make sense. Kosher food is insanely expensive right now
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amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:56 am
We eat lots of fruits and vegetables which are not specifically kosher but a huge fortune!
Eating healthy and giving my children healthy choices is so important for me, and should not be so expensive!
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amother
Amber
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 12:02 pm
| amother OP wrote: | We eat lots of fruits and vegetables which are not specifically kosher but a huge fortune!
Eating healthy and giving my children healthy choices is so important for me, and should not be so expensive! |
I told my husband to stop making orders from the kosher store.
But he tells me we need to do it for kavod shabbos and that it's a lack of bitachon to tell him to stop buying food.
we were literally using cc to pay for food but now our cc are maxed out so that's not an option. And we do not qualify for any kind of assistance because our income is too high.
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amother
Jasmine
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Tue, Feb 07 2023, 12:15 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I am asking the same question.
Is it moving to a different state that have private school tuition vouchers and cheaper housing?
Is it finding a new job when we are so settled? |
I doubt moving out of state is your solution unless you can go remote with your jobs. Usually the jibs in Cleveland or Cincannati also pay less, so you are in the same place at the end of the day.
Start by asking for raises. With inflation, the same money has much less buying power and we are all feeling the pinch.
It doesn't hurt to feel around what other positions are offering in your field.
Make sure you aren't overpaying taxes. We where doing this and it was a significant amount that we ended up getting back and helped the yearly budget.
Also, sometimes a housing downgrade can leave you with extra money that can be invested and turn into a source of passive income. A downgrade can also mean moving to a different area that is cheaper in the same city, by going to the area's that are just just starting to become frum.
For example, if you live in Lakewood and sell for close to a million, and move to Howell and purchase a home for 500k, you have a couple hundred thousand dollars to either help pay off some of the mortgage and lower that monthly expense, or invest in more real estate and bring in rental income
( there are places you can purchase a home for 300-400k and rent it out for a couple thousand).
I never say this, but if you are going into debt, then it may be worthwhile to ask for tuition reduction.
The reality of tuition for 7 kids is a very very heavy burden to bear.
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